Right And Wrong Ways To Discuss Your Exes With Your Man
It goes without saying that you shouldn’t discuss exes with first dates or brand new partners. Let the beginning of a relationship be a magical time that’s free of baggage and war stories. It’s important that, in the beginning, your new partner feels he has your complete attention and you’re in no way bogged down by the past. That’s how new relationships should be. But, the reality is that if you are with someone for several years, it’s unreasonable to think you’ll never mention the people who came before this partner. They are a part of your history. They are literally a part of the stories and experiences you lived for a while. You just can’t pluck them out of existence. They will come up. And, when you are comfortable and confident in your relationship, it can even be healthy to discuss how you grew and evolved in past relationships. But there are rules. Here are the right and wrong ways to discuss exes with your partner.
Tone down compliments
Your ex clearly had some good attributes—if he didn’t, you wouldn’t have dated him. But when you mention these, you can say them in a calm, controlled way. You don’t need to say, “He was such a smart guy. Oh my god seriously, he was a genius.” You can stick with, “He was intelligent.”