How To Navigate Your First Couple Fight
Relationship firsts are usually something to celebrate, but there is one first-time relationship occurrence that can truly test couples and push them to the brink before they really even get started. This is the dreaded first fight, which is bound to happen even to those who are madly in love.
The important thing to remember about your first couple fight is that it’s normal and the way you choose to handle it can set the stage for your entire relationship. To help you and your boo get over your first fight with ease, we’ve compiled a list of helpful tips to try.
African family with adult children drinking champagne. (via Getty)
Don’t Go To The Extreme
When you’re mad sometimes your first instinct can be an extreme overreaction, especially as it relates to a relationship. During the first fight with your man resist the urge to go to the extreme and do something foolish like permanently ending the relationship.
It’s a fight, it happens to the best of couples, so there is no need to let your anger rule over you to the point that you end something that is really special. Instead, take a step back and assess what you’re actually fighting about and go from there.
Try To Keep Calm
It’s almost impossible to keep calm when you’re so mad that you’re seeing red and everything is feels worse than it actually is. Couple fights can bring out the worst in people, which also means that in the midst of your anger you’re unable to be as calm as you should.
To keep your cool during a fight with your boo, take a few deeps breaths, count down from 10, keep an even tone to your voice and most importantly, think before you speak. Utilizing these tips come in handy when you want to move on from the fight quickly.
Give Each Other Space
Sometimes that’s all it takes. Taking a walk during an argument or being apart for a few days can work wonders for successfully navigating through your couple fight.
We all need space to be alone every now and then, but when you’re fighting requiring space is essential to clearing your head and getting back on track. Besides, after being away from each other for a bit, the makeup session is bound to be worth it.
Listen Without Speaking
This is one of the hardest things to do, especially when you’re fighting with your significant other. During a fight we become so angry that all we’re focused on is getting our points across and being heard, but that is definitely not the way to handle things.
Instead try to listen to your partner, really listen to them and not just close your mouth while they’re talking as you anticipate your turn to speak. Hear what they are saying and try to see their point of view, it could really help you as a couple going forward.
Don’t Hold A Grudge
If your petty level is at an all-time high you may be very skilled in holding a grudge, but please remember that holding on to past issues never really works out in the end.
If you and your man have sat down and talked out your issues and mutually agreed to move on, then you should do just that. Don’t continue to hold on to those negative feelings or bring up past issues when you get mad. Letting it go means letting it all go.
Get To The Root Of The Issue
When you’re fighting as a couple it’s easy to want to move past the argument as quickly as possible and just apologize profusely. However, you must get to the root of why you were arguing in the first place or the same issues are bound to return.
Sit down with each other and discuss what you both think is the central reason for your issues as a couple. Allow one another to voice their opinions and concerns before agreeing on the steps to take to keep the issue from returning.
Remember Why You’re Together
When you’re really mad at each other, the one thing that can often soften those feelings of anger is to remember why you’re with your special guy in the first place.
Reminisce on all of the things he did in the beginning of the relationship, as well as how he regularly makes you feel like you’re the luckiest woman in the world. This is similar to weighing the pros and cons, if the good outweighs the bad then you should definitely keep him around.
Be Willing To Forgive
It’s easier said than done and can be one of the hardest things to do when you’ve been hurt, but it’s necessary to move forward. Being willing to forgive your man when he screws up takes a lot of maturity and it also shows just how much you care about them and the relationship.
Of course, everyone has their own threshold of forgiveness and it varies between couples. If your fight is small enough to you and easy to overcome, then forgiveness should be the final step in leaving the couple fight behind.
Be Open To Giving/Receiving An Apology
When you know you’re wrong apologizing seems like the easiest thing in the world to do, but it can be the hardest. A combination of pride, ego and not wanting to seem weak, keep people from apologizing all the time and it’s the wrong decision.
The same goes for receiving an apology. If your man is truly sorry and has apologized to you, you have to be willing to receive it and move on. A simple apology goes a long way to fighting less and having a healthy relationship.
You Actually Want To Salvage The Relationship
If you’re not really invested in the relationship and could honestly be fine without it, then you may use your first fight as a reason to pull the plug on things. However, if you know in your heart that this is a relationship worth fighting for, then be willing to do the work.
Once you realize just how important your relationship is to you, you won’t hesitate to sit down with your boo and work things out like adults so you can get to your happily ever after.