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courting a woman receiving a rose bouquet from her boyfriend for Valentine’s day.

Flattery and attention are some powerful forces. The ugly truth is that two of my long(ish)-term relationships were based entirely on those forces. The guys just wanted me and pursued me so aggressively that I almost felt that I had no choice but to say yes. I had a choice, of course, but the reality is that I liked the attention. And they knew that—they relied on my need for attention to get me. I even remember, in both relationships, some well-meaning friends would ask me, “So, um, what exactly is it that you like about insert boyfriend’s name here?” The implication being that they really didn’t see what we had in common or why we were together. They were right. I didn’t like those guys—I just liked how much they liked me. Ultimately, of course, I realized I wasn’t into them. If one person just pursues and pursues, the relationship is usually doomed. Here is why you should be wary of men who pursue you too hard.


They disregard your comfort

If you think about it, they obviously have no concern for your level of comfort. You’re obviously a bit embarrassed when they make big scenes to get your attention or show up at your work with gifts. And yet, they don’t care—they just keep doing it.

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