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Alicia Keys and Mashonda

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There are levels to this forgiveness thing.

Many of us say that with time, we can forgive someone for their indiscretions against us, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we will want to move forward with any type of relationship with them. One can forgive, but they don’t forget, because doing so could set them up for future disappointment.

And then there are people like Mashonda Tifrere. They can display a level of maturity in their form of forgiveness that the rest of us can’t even fathom. They forgive, don’t necessarily forget, but see there are more benefits to letting go of the pain than to clinging to it and turning bitter from the outside out. She has managed to forgive her ex-husband, Swizz Beatz, and his wife, Alicia Keys, for the roles they played in the dissolution of her marriage to the producer. And since doing so, she has been able to go to events with them, enjoy family dinners, canoodle with them at art shows, star in music videos about successful co-parenting relationships, and travel around the world with them as a blended family.

The spotlight on their relationship, which always gets people talking, started when Swizz shared a picture of Alicia during their current trip to Egypt. He encouraged men to not be threatened by their girlfriends and wives when they’re more successful.

But people didn’t want to hear all that from him, because in the minds of a number of individuals looking from the outside in, he left behind his first for Keys and wasn’t sympathetic about it. But he, for the first time really, spoke on their relationship. And not just what he and Keys have, but their bond as a trio with Tifrere.

And Tifrere, for the record, decided to speak for herself in her own way. She took to social media on Friday to thank Keys for putting together the trip they’re all on in Egypt, and for their friendship as a whole.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BnJDVpaAopz/?hl=en&taken-by=mashondatifrere

After watching this whole thing play out this week, as well as their relationship as a whole develop over the last few years, I, like some others, can’t help but be impressed at their growth. It’s a great thing to know that they were all able to mend things and be better for the sake of their children.

But I had to remember that they’re not “goals,” as we like to say. Their relationship is beautiful, but it’s not realistic. So don’t fault yourself if the idea of being this close to your ex-husband’s partner, the person who you once said wouldn’t take a step back to allow you to try and salvage your marriage, feels like an impossible feat for you. Don’t feel bad if you forgive, but are still struggling to be in the presence of the person who hurt you. Don’t feel like you’re immature if you choose to co-parent by having minimal communication with only the father of your child — not him and her.

I say all of that because the truth is, it’s easier to forgive and build a friendship like these two women when there are substantial perks to doing so. Perks like getting invited to travel to places many people only dream of. The chance to live comfortably. The opportunity to have people laud your maturity so much that you get to write a book and be on a show about it. Hell, who wouldn’t move on?

And all of that is not to say that Tifrere, a former singer, has been “bought” in any way. But it is to say that the rest of us probably won’t be so lucky when it comes to dealing with our exes and their new partners. Alicia, Swizz and Mashonda don’t have an ordinary situation. Neither do people like Diddy and the mothers of his children. Diddy cheated on his former partner, Kim Porter, with Sarah Chapman. She would go on to have a daughter at the same time that Porter had her twins by the mogul. It was something that created a lot of drama. But now they’re all one big, happy family. A family that spends holidays together, travel and smile for the cameras as a team. He has ensured that they will all live well for the rest of their time on earth, so who needs to be angry about anything, right? A former mistress isn’t so bad when you guys are kicking back on yachts, sipping champagne together and smiling for the cameras on the red carpet. Money just makes everyone happier and everything better.

Still, I commend these stars for trying to show us something positive. There are enough celebrity men battling the mothers of their children in court, and going back and forth in comment sections on social media. With that being said, it’s nice to see something different. But if you’re not on the emotional level of the women and men previously mentioned, don’t feel bad. It’s more than moving past hurt for them: They are millionaires, if not almost billionaires, who can afford to keep everyone happy and on the same page. For the rest of us 9-to-5 folks, make peace for the sake of inner peace, and for the betterment of your children. But don’t look at these people as “goals,” because it will never be you.

But if you would like to see more images from this blended family’s vacay to Egypt, because they are beautiful, hit the flip:

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