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From YourTango

I never had any hesitation that Andy was the one for me or that we would spend the rest of our lives together. After six years in a monogamous relationship — including two cross-country moves, economic upheaval and layoffs, career changes, and a six-month stint living with his parents (no easy feat) — it felt like we’d already made our relationship official.

But, like most women who are single well into their 20s, I felt pressured by girlfriends who insisted, “Everyone wants to get married” and, “You’re just saying you don’t care because you haven’t been proposed to yet.” As most of my friends plotted their way to the altar, Andy and I enjoyed years of blissful cohabitation without ever worrying about if and when we’d tie the knot.

Over the years, we attended weddings by the dozen. Eventually he and I were one of the last unmarried pairs standing. Still, I wasn’t compelled to demand a ring. We were content. Certainly, people in our lives thought there had to be something wrong with our relationship, but we didn’t care what anyone thought.

Even during my years as an editor at a major wedding magazine, my bridal instincts failed to kick in. Sure, I felt the twinge of “something missing” every time a new coworker announced her engagement and was met with loads of fanfare, but that didn’t change how I felt deep inside: Andy and I didn’t need a piece of paper to affirm our commitment.

I wasn’t until my 30th birthday approached that I began to feel the first real impulse to get hitched. My career was thriving, but still, I sensed a barrier. It soon became apparent that my unmarried status was preventing me from being taken seriously as an adult and a professional. I was trapped in relationship purgatory.

Read more on YourTango.com.

Over the years, Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade has taken a lot of hits off the court about his personal life, including his fight for custody of his children, the alleged way he treated his ex-wife and his current relationship with actress Gabrielle Union.  Now, he’s finally ready to discuss it…well, a little bit.

In the June 2013 issue of Jet magazine, Dwyane Wade takes time to discuss his role as a father and in the midst of that, he reveals bits and pieces of what his relationship is like now with the boys’ – Zaire, age 11, and Zion, age 5 – mother, Siovaughn Funches:

Why he fought so hard for custody of his children:

“I didn’t set out to get full custody but I wasn’t able to see my kids the way I wanted and I’m not a parent who’s going to run away from his responsibilities. I was probably a terrible husband, but I pride myself on being a good dad.”

The state of his relationship now with Siovaughn:

“It’s been six years and hopefully one day she and I can get to the point where it’s a lot easier than it is now to co-parent.”

It should come as no surprise that they don’t get along: Funches allegedly claimed Wade gave her an STD and he’s allegedly called the police on her for not bringing their children back to him on time.  The two were together for many years, since they were both teenagers, so there are likely some very hurt feelings still involved.

You can pick up the June 2013 issue of Jet when it hits newsstands May 27th.

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From YourTango

Our culture promotes sex everywhere from magazine covers to product advertisements. When sex sells, it sets us up to objectify ourselves and others. When we objectify someone, we really don’t see the other person. We lose out on the most intimate loving parts of a relationship and we look to magazines, books and blogs to help us get the relationship we’ve always wanted. What we fail to realize is that the best person to consult about our beauty is ourselves.

When a person owns her innermost self — and is happy with who she is — she projects a beauty radiating with confidence. People naturally are drawn to those who make them feel good. Healthy sexuality and intimacy is about having the courage to love and be loved in return. Here are some ways in which people benefit from sex:

Having a healthy attitude about your sexuality promotes beauty from within. Experts say, “a sexually healthy person is someone who feels comfortable with his or her sexuality.” This means, a person doesn’t view s*x as something naughty, bad, improper or sinful and can engage in it without feeling guilty or anxious. When you’re comfortable with who you are on the inside, your attractiveness is infectious on the outside. Others want to be around you and have what you have.

Read more at YourTango.com

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From Essence

I never believe anyone who says, “I don’t have a jealous bone in my body.” Everyone has experienced some form of jealousy in life, whether it is amongst siblings, friends or even successful people we don’t know. Experiencing jealousy, however, does not make you a jealous person.

My sister-friend has been dating a guy for two months and it has been going great. So much so, she was pretty sure she was ready to take it to the next level with him. Two weeks ago, we were having lunch and she was constantly wondering what he was doing while he was out of town. If he took too long to return a text, she’d repeatedly check her messages and then ultimately send new text messages until he responded.

Four days ago, the guy suggested that they take a break after he caught her going through his phone following a night out where she’d questioned him about every woman to whom he spoke. Infidelity in my sister-friend’s past relationships was one part of the reason she was acting this way. The larger issue was that her insecurities were running rampant and because she really liked this guy she was afraid of losing him. Ironically, her own jealous actions lost him faster than another woman ever could.

Read more at Essence.com

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From HelloBeautiful

I promise you. He is not intimidated by you because you are an independent woman. Yes, you are holding your own in the workplace, making your own money, paying your own rent or mortgage and even buying your own bags and shoes, but I PROMISE, he is not intimidated by that.

It’s something else, and it’s more than likely your failure to turn off that bulldog that has gotten you so far in your career when all a man desires is your beautiful smile and womanly presence. I know this, because I have said a man was intimidated by my being an attorney and I have been proven wrong!

In my first year in law school, one of my female professors shared with us how her husband had to talk her off the ledge of being over-the-top with her family. She stated that as a litigator by trade, she would come home and find herself cross examining her three year old about peanut butter and holding depositions with her husband about the most miniscule details in carpooling. She also shared that it was not helping out in her marriage and/or family life and she had to learn how to scale it down for the sake of her family.

Read more at HelloBeautiful.com

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From YourTango

By Rick Clemons

Now, I can laugh at this thought. Still, just a little over twelve years ago, I would have said the same thing, “I’m not gay, I just like having sex with men!” Ahem, excuse me that sounds a little homosexual to me. Granted, if you’re a male, having sex with a male, you could be bi-sexual, so just admit it and move on. Yet, I didn’t fit that mold twelve years ago, either. I was caught in a dysfunctional sexual limbo that made no sense.

Of course, now things have changed, and it all makes sense…I’m a happy homosexual. I’ve joined the ranks of “Happily Divorced,” and am no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience, and pretending to be something I’m not. However, contrary to popular belief there are more from whence I came…married men, looking for married men!

Shocking as it may seem to some of you, this phenomena is not new, nor a dwindling fad. Of course I have no cold hard facts to prove this statement, and I don’t need them. All I need is a computer, an Internet connection, and an hour of free time. With those three things at my disposal I can find numerous sites where married men for married men lurk. I can also join online groups where these guys exchange their stories, get support for their dual lives, and of course also find the occasional hook-up. And, then there’s online chat rooms, gay male hook-up sites, gay male apps, that also work for men who are married and just having sex with men, even though their not gay. After all why not fish where your most likely to hook one, especially when you can do it inconito!

Read more at YourTango.com

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The majority of sitcoms and movies à la Judd Apatow today make marriage seem like a nightmare in which the wife is an unreasonable tyrant controlling her emotionally stunted child of a husband. In other words, nobody comes out on top. But that’s only one side of the story. You’re not doomed to make your husband miserable in marriage, all because you said “I do.” Fight the stereotypes about spousal living, and remember this:

Forbes recently released its 2013 list of billionaires, and topping the chart weren’t many surprises: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett… But the whole thing got me thinking, what about the women who are married to billionaires? More specifically the black women who are married to billionaires? There had to be some. So I started doing some research and what do you know? There are in fact quite a few black women who’ve married billionaires (and some who might soon). Not many, but enough to mention, and certainly enough to form their own exclusive group of what I’m calling The Billionaire Black Wives Club. Check them out.

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You’ve finally hit that time in your life when you want to find Mr. Right, get married, live together, and maybe even  have children in the future. You’re done with flings and random hook-ups and instead you’re ready to find that one guy who you can happily settle down with. We’re not psychic, but we bet finding Mr. Right has proven to be a bit harder task than you ever expected. Confused as to why? Here are a few reasons why Mr. Right seems to be eluding you.

From YourTango

Is there such a thing as ‘The Nice Guy Curse’? Is it even possible to be too nice? Men, the world over, have wondered why women continually pass up the quintessential nice guy who is loving, caring, giving, supportive, accommodating, faithful and head-over-heels in love with them.In the initial stage of a relationship there are many men who try really hard to make women happy.

In fact, they often bend over backwards to accomplish this task. If and when they enter into a deeper level of commitment, they often take things a step further. They begin to put their partner ahead of everyone and everything else in their lives.  While this may seem to accomplish the goal of making her happy, it actually does the complete opposite.If and when she actually becomes the most important thing in his life, she’ll start to lose her attraction for him. In fact, if he centers his life around her, it will actually drive her away.

She’ll start to resent the fact that his life revolves around hers and she’ll begin to lose respect for him as a man when he keeps adjusting to her every whim. Over time, the attraction she once had will slowly disintegrate until it is no more. While women do not possess an ‘attraction kill switch’, slowly but surely they begin to realize that something is different. Something is missing. What was once something has become nothing.

At this point, the ‘Nice Guy Curse’ has reared its ugly head. In his attempt to find out what went wrong, he is met with frustration and disappointment. Why? Simply put, women often have a hard time articulating the shift in their emotions, because it’s just a feeling they get. They really don’t know how to put it into words. The feeling is either there or it’s not.

Read more at YourTango.com