All Articles Tagged "love and hip hop new york"
Mandeeces Harris has been battling some pretty tough charges of drug trafficking since early last year, and if you watched this season of Love and Hip Hop New York, it almost seemed like the reality star and his family, Yandy Smith especially, had no idea if and when he was going to get out of jail. But rumors swirled earlier this month that Harris may have found a way to be released, especially after he (or someone) took to his Instagram a couple days ago to post a picture of Harris drinking a large glass of wine with the caption, “Having a drink…ya’ll missed me?”
Since the rumors started, Smith hasn’t said anything about them on social media. This could possibly be because she’s not allowed to talk about it, or maybe because he hasn’t actually been released.
However, she took to Instagram yesterday to post a picture of Mandeecees’ friends and to respond to rumors that her man is a free man.
“Now that I have a free second…if it doesn’t come from me. It’s probably not true. You know they love to speculate and exaggerate. @2thejew you got Instagram in a frenzy over that old pic! @babyjunior_stp, Preme…y’all go hard! He sends his love #rorolife #freethatman #nowbacktoworkIgo #filmlife #2daysinharlem”
Some of her followers are still not buying it though, wondering why he would mislead people on his Instagram page, and thinking that he possibly is “free,” as in, on bail, and that she just can’t talk too much about his case because it’s still pending. Whatever is going on, we just hope for the best for his kids at this point.
What do you think? Could he be free?
In today’s societal relationships it seems as though love triangles are prevalent and the accepted norm. As we recall the relationship and love triangles of Love and Hip Hop New York‘s Tara, Amina, Peter Gunz, and of course, the ongoing saga of a relationship that is Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union, or Ludacris and Eudoxie, one can’t help but wonder if infidelity is the new faithful?
If you look at each relationship mentioned, the common denominator with the two situations include men who were openly unfaithful and each woman they are (or were) involved with forgiving them. When Tara boldly told Amina about her sexual encounters with Peter, Amina’s immediate reaction was what is to be expected from reality TV… tears, yelling and storming out. But then, shortly after her performance, she entered back in the room and kindly asked Tara, the woman her “husband” admitted to sleeping with, if she could have a moment alone to snap on him. From there, they talked, she ignored him for a few days, Peter apologized, and then the two kissed and made up for the time being; but we all know Peter has a special place in his mind, heart and pants for Tara. Not to mention, she is the mother of his children (though Amina is allegedly about to be the mother of his child as well…).
What is it about a man that makes it okay for him to be untrue to a woman he claims to love or have deep feelings for? To take things further, what makes the woman forgive him? It is my belief that a woman forgives her lover’s transgressions because she thinks she’ll change him; she’s comfortable with him and doesn’t want to start over, and in other cases, some women are prone to push monogamy on men when they aren’t ready. While there may be a plethora of other reasons why some women stay with philandering partners, these three top my list. Many women who are with men with wandering eyes have the tendency to think they are the answer to their infidelity, and she has the ability to change the cheating ways with what she does or who she is. But the hard truth of the matter is you can’t. The only thing you can change on a man is his diaper, and even then he’ll be resistant.
Complacency is something that becomes common with lovers. This happens when a person is comfortable with someone and they are comfortable with who they’ve shown themselves to be, so the connection instantly becomes a part of who they are; plus, the thought of starting over can be hard to deal with. You have to get accustomed to another person’s habits, and in turn, they have to do the same for you, and the truth is, they may not like who you are. So rather than stepping out and starting over, a number of women choose to stay where they are most comfortable, even if that means they stay wholeheartedly with someone who isn’t all the way there with them.
The last reason mentioned above is what I believe is one of the most common reasons men are unfaithful to women: They are forced into monogamy without being ready! So many men are involved with women whose biological clocks are ticking that they often pressure a man/men into commitment. How do you ask? By giving ultimatums, slightly mentioning marriage every chance they get, threatening to walk away with their kids, and so on and so on. And when a man knows he has a good woman but is not quite ready to fully commit, he does what he thinks she wants in an effort to sustain the relationship, but he also does what he wants with other women because he wants his cake and to eat it too.
While betrayal in relationships is nothing new, the cycle can be easily broken if women keep these simple things in mind: If a man wants to be with you he’ll be with you; if a man wants to be faithful to you he will, and if he doesn’t he won’t; and you’re worth more single than you are with a cheating man. Ladies, don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve in life and in relationships. If you know your mate is stepping out on you, know that the option to step out on him and walk into something new with someone better is always there…but it’s up to you to take advantage of it or not.
How many times has your lover, spouse or significant other cheated on you? How many times have you forgiven them? What is something you deem a dealbreaker?Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her in Twitter @Liz_Lampkin
Love and Hip Hop New York is of course a reality show based on the behind-the-scenes lives of men and women in the world of hip-hop, and their day-to-day challenges with love. Every week, with each episode, we expected to see the typical reality TV drama that entertained and kept us intrigued from beginning to end, but along with the drama (and there was a lot), there were also lessons to be learned from each lady who struggled to deal with balancing her career and her relationship issues. I know many of you may be thinking, ‘What is it that we could possibly learn about relationships from the women of this show when it seems as though their love lives are filled with antics and theatrics beyond belief?’ Well, believe it or not, the relationships that have the most turmoil and dramatics are the ones you can learn the most from…if you observe carefully.
When recalling the relationship of Yandy Smith and Mendecees, the first two words that come to mind are patience and endurance. Well, at least for me. We all know the dynamics of this relationship, and we’ve seen how Yandy tries to keep it together through loneliness, single motherhood and juggling her many tasks as a career woman all while waiting patiently to reunite with her man, who faces an uncertain future. Many people would say she’s a fool for waiting for Mendecees to be released from jail, however, this is a prime example of patience and endurance with love at its best. The lesson that can be learned here is that if you think someone is worth it, you will wait patiently for them and endure what you deem necessary for the good of the relationship. Not everyone is up for the task, but she’s not the first woman to do it.
Sticking to your guns is the lesson women should have taken away from Tahiry Jose. Walking away from the man she loved and their more than a decade-long relationship was a bold move. It may have hurt her to her soul to end things, but she knew she deserved better than what Joe was giving. And she stuck with it. When he decided to propose to her in lavish fashion, Tahiry stuck to her guns and told him that she would not marry him until he could prove to her that he was worth her hand in marriage. By doing this, Tahiry set a new tone for the dynamics of their relationship and now he knows there is a higher standard to be met. Whether or not he is up to the challenge is up to Joe.
The name of the show is Love and Hip Hop, not Love and Hop Scotch, right? This is the question that comes to mind when observing Erica Jean and Saigon. Why do I say this? Because if you noticed the pattern at all between them, it seems as though they missed a few steps on their way to couple-hood. Let’s think about it…one minute they’re at each others throats, next they’re trying to function as parents for the sake of their child, then all of a sudden they’re moving in together so they can get to know each other and make an attempt to live happily ever after! Did I miss something, or did they? There are stages people should go through to build a successful love connection, and while each couples’ situation may vary, there’s still a certain protocol that should be followed. Ladies, if you can help it, take the time to actually be your potential mate’s friend first, allow him to court you, then make a mutual decision to move forward from there.
Healing is fundamental. That’s what I got from watching the antics of Tara Wallace and Erica Mena. Both of these young ladies failed to take time out for themselves to reflect back on their failed relationships, refocus and allow time for healing before they started dating someone new. This is a mistake that is made far too often with women and the results are yet another failed love connection. Why? Because they’re not over the previous mate, and those lingering feelings can affect progress with someone new. Ladies, if you do nothing else for yourselves after a relationship has ended, be sure to take a brief hiatus from the dating scene to fill the void in your heart and work towards moving past your previous love interest. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself and your future partner.
While there are other lessons to be learned from these and other women on the show, the lessons above are some of the most valuable because many women can relate to each circumstance in some way (I can’t relate to Amina and her secret marriage, that’s just crazy). Everyone has their own definition of love and we all experience different struggles, but the one thing we must remember is that the lessons love teaches us should be cherished and applied throughout life because they make us who we are or they break us so we can rebuild and become the people we were meant to be. What lessons did you learn from the ladies this season? Can you relate to any of them?
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are you a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
On Monday’s episode of Love and Hip Hop New York, we finally had the chance to find out what happened a few months ago when Joe Budden proposed to his on-again, off-again love, Tahiry. This all happened in November, and when video was captured of the two in Times Square, Budden ready to put a ring on her finger, Tahiry awestruck by the gesture (which included a short video on a jumbotron screen), it all seemed beautiful. But what we weren’t aware of back then was the two had hit a rough patch in their relationship after Budden allowed another woman to lay her concealer-wearing face on a pillow in their bed. Because of that, Budden and Tahiry had actually broken up, and she was trying to move forward. But there he was, trying to do a grand gesture for her to not only get her back, but to show her that losing her made him realize that she is who he wants to spend the rest of his life with (after 10 years of games…). Unfortunately for the rapper, he hadn’t really worked on getting his s**t together, and so in front of their family and friends in the middle of the crunkest place on earth, she said no; not just no, but she also gave him a piece of her mind in the process. In the end, he walked away with his eyes watering, pride beaten the hell out of, walking away with his heart on his sleeve. Saying no in front of family and complete strangers wasn’t something Tahiry found enjoyment in, but it was something she clearly had to do for herself.
That made me want to ask: What would you do if the man in your life (or the ex man) tried to propose to you in front of a large crowd of people?
What if he collected your close friends, your family members, even Pookie and ‘nem from down the street, to show you how much he loves you and wants to take things to the next level? Once again, from the outside looking in, it always looks adorable, but to be the woman standing crowded in by teary-eyed folks (like a scene out of The Walking Dead) as your man gets down on one knee, it’s probably jarring.
A colleague of mine actually just went to an outing with friends where her good friend was proposed to by her man; interesting enough, he did all this at his own birthday party. While the guy thought it would be such a romantic idea, when his girlfriend finally arrived and all their friends got excited and put their eyes on him, nerves kicked in and he could barely collect his thoughts. The girlfriend walked in and was so shocked she was damn near scared at all the people who showed up for what should have been an ordinary birthday party for her man. Because his nerves were still shot, her boyfriend didn’t have a sweet statement to make. He just got fell down to his knee, opened the box, showed her the ring and didn’t really say anything. The girlfriend grabbed the rings, and that was it. My colleague says she had to eventually ask out loud, “Is that a yes??” To which the friend finally said, “YES! It’s a yes!” Nice idea, but no…
So what would you do? If you like being the center of attention, being proposed to in front of everyone you love (and maybe some haters) sounds like an awesome idea. However, if you’re not one of those people, I assume you can be filled with some major anxiety. And what happens if you’re actually not 100 percent sure if you want to say yes? It’s hard enough trying to sit down and make major decisions by myself in the peace and quiet of my own home, so I can’t imagine trying to make the biggest decision of my life (so far) in front of everyone I know. So, what would you do?
If you’ve been watching this season of ”Love and Hip Hop New York,” you’ve seen that Erica Mena has (kind of) moved on from Rich Dollaz and is in a relationship with Cyn Santana. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, as much as I don’t want to watch and don’t want to like the show, LHHNY is my favorite soap opera. And by that I mean, with the exception of Joe and Tahiry and Yandy and Mendeecees everything else is completely fabricated. But entertaining nonetheless. To me, the relationship that seemed to be the most staged, aside from Peter Gunz and Amina’s is the relationship between Erica Mena and Cyn Santana.
Not that it’s so hard for me to believe that Erica would be bisexual. But it’s hard for me to believe that her relationship with Cyn is not just a ploy to have a juicy storyline on the show and shock a few people along the way. And apparently, I’m not the only one who feels that way. Recently, Erica and Cyn stopped by Hot 97 to basically defend their relationship as Ebro and Peter Rosenberg asked a slew of sexually explicit questions. The conversation was mostly about the quickest way to get to hetero men off but there was at least one thought-provoking nugget. Check out the highlights see if you can find it. We’ll discuss later.
Is their relationship real?
Rosenberg: I don’t know. I don’t know if I believe it fully. Erica I know you love yourself so you found someone who looks like you to make out with.
Cyn: That’s not what it is. We just happen to look a like.
Erica: I think it’s just because we’re always around each other. And I think it’s because you become what you eat. You know that saying.
Their sex life
Cyn: She’s very experienced.
Erica: I’m passionate I take my time.
Cyn: I’m very passionate too! She’s just way more experienced and I’m still stuck in my comfort zone
**Fun Fact** Did ya’ll know that Erica Mena is only 26 and Cyn is only 21 years old! That kind of explains a few things right?
Cyn: We’re not lesbians. We love d*ck too.
Cyn: I’ve like kissed girls before, I’ve never been in a relationship with a girl. She basically harassed me. I was pinned to the wall and I had no other f*cking choice.
Erica: I had to put in a lot of man hours for her.
Ebro: Would you get married?
Erica: Yes, in Jersey.
Cyn: It has to be legal.
Rosenberg: You’re not going to tell us you’re not lesbians and then consider marriage, come on.
Erica: See you guys are putting a label on it. I hate that.
Ebro: So is it fear of the label?
Cyn: If I cared, I would have never ever ever have done the show.
Erica: Once they put you in like a label category it just haunts you. Yo Ebro. You’re sounding… you’re thinking about it too much. You sound mad old.
Ebro: Most people who fall in love with each other and when it’s same sex, it’s a gay relationship or lesbian whatever.
Erica: So you’re in love with your baby mom’s right?
Ebro: I love her.
Erica: So you wouldn’t sit up here and be like ‘Oh, I’m a straight man’ and run with that. ‘I’m a straight man, I’m going to get married.’ It’s the same thing.
Peter: It’s an interesting point. I hear what she’s saying. It’s not a part of labeling unless it’s same sex.
Erica: You only get labelled when it’s like the same and that’s so annoying.
Did you catch it? That last little bit is the interesting part right?! After watching Erica and Cyn’s interview, I’m not any more convinced that they are indeed in a relationship. And I really could care less at this point. Erica gets on my nerves. What I find so interesting is the point they made about the labels placed on same-sex couples.
She didn’t do the best job of explaining it but the sentiment holds up. If two women get married they must be labelled lesbians. Sadly, I know a few people who think identifying as bi-sexual is a farce. Smh… But, as Erica mentioned, we don’t place those same restrictions on heterosexual couples. You don’t get married simply because you’re hetero. The assumption is you get married because you’re in love with a single person. When we talk about homosexual relationships, rarely–very rarely– is the focus on love. It’s more about who sticks which parts where and what folks do in the bedroom. This conversation, whether it intended to go this deep or not, really did point to yet another way homosexual relationships and then marriages are marginalized in our society.
Didn’t think I’d get that from an Erica Mena interview. But there it is.
You can watch the full, sexually explicit NSFW interview on the next page.
Last year, the wonderful Stephanie Guerilus did a list article on 8 faces that have appeared on multiple reality television shows. This year, we’re back with more people, more shows, and a display of dedication to the reality show hustle like never before. There are so many (Noah, from Bad Girls Club season 3, and Saddle Ranch, I see/saw you!), but I wanted to include the most notable ones. Now, I’m not here to bash anyone’s grind. Actually, it’s the opposite, we’re here to bask in their longevity, starting with:
Ezra “Buddha” Masters
In the midst of cultivating an acting career, Ezra also sprinkled reality shows appearances in the mix. Though many remember his reality show exploits in “I Love New York 2″ by his choking up Tailor Made, or his overbearing nature in “I Love Money 2,” he also appeared on “Hell Date,” and “Gay, Straight, or Taken.”
Before we make you mad, we’ll just tell you who this little cutie’s suspect mama is. It’s Winter Ramos, the former Love & Hip-Hop New York reality chick who quickly got on a lot of people’s bad sides when she suggested Emily B stick with Fab because she wasn’t going to get anything better. Winter was a regular cast member on last season’s series of LHHNY and almost as soon as the cameras stopped rolling, her baby bump made its debut.
Winter confirmed her pregnancy in an interview with us this past March and now we see from Instagram pics that her little bundle of joy is here! Two days ago, Winter showed us the very first pic of her little one with the caption, “Say hi to Summer! #Loveofmylife.” She also posted a couple more candids of the cutie who appears to be all smiles all the time.
Since leaving LHHNY, we haven’t really kept up with Winter or the fallout from her tell-all book in which she exposed a number of rapper’s indiscretions, like her ex-boo Jadakiss, but from the looks of her Instagram account she appears to be doing well. Check out more pics of her 2-month-old daughter below. Isn’t she adorable?
In the past I’ve been anti-”Love and Hip Hop.” But,eventually, it got me, and like most of you I’ve been tuning in Mondays to watch the foolishness. However, I think I know why I stayed away for as long as I did. The dysfunctional relationship dynamics can be a little overwhelming to me. But, no one is perfect, so not trying to throw shade. But, if regardless of if you feel as if everyone on the show is just acting, and the the situations are scripted, these scenarios happen to many people everyday. People are living fractured lives by trying to stay in broken relationships.
Inspired by some of the things that I’ve seen on this season so far, here are are a few things that I would really like to point out that shouldn’t be tolerated in relationships.
Having never ending patience
Let’s address the fact that you will never have a perfect relationship, because any union that you’re in requires two imperfect people. However, there are things that just should not be tolerated in said union. If a person keeps on making horribly hurtful behaviors, constantly apologizing and still doing the same thing, you shouldn’t have to stay through all that. If you’re trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt, but they’re not taking your feelings into consideration, then let them be alone. Like Maya Angelou said: ”Once someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Tara On Sleeping With Peter After He Married: “If All Of A Sudden My Conscience Doesn’t Kick In, I’m Sorry”
Despite the notorious love triangle going on on “Love & Hip-Hop New York,” so far Peter Gunz has been the only one really talking about the situation — and trying to explain away his messiness. We finally got a chance to chat with the victim in the situation, Peter’s ex-girlfriend of 13 years Tara, and she had some interesting things to say about the drama we’ve seen go on in her life over the past seven weeks or so.
Though our initial question for Tara was what did you think would happen to your relationship going on LHHNY, what we couldn’t wait to ask her about was that little Plan B slip up she admitted to on last week’s episode and, more importantly, why she’s still sleeping with Peter Gunz. We also asked the Mississippi native if she sees herself getting back together with her ex and how their children fit in to all of this. Check out what she had to say in our extensive Q&A.
Did you watch ‘Love & Hip-Hop’ before you joined the show?
“I have watched Love & Hip-Hop since season 1 so I knew all about it. I watched every episode, every season, it comes on Monday nights. I knew that it could be half-way crazy, but I did it for Peter. It was kind of like, ‘Hey you wanna do this’ and I was all about us trying to get into a good space so I thought ‘sure, let’s do it. If you want to do it I’m down.’”
What did you think your storyline would be?
“Can I just be honest? I thought we were going to be the two corniest people, like ‘why are they on this show. Why are we following these people, all they do is take their kids to the park and eat Chinese Food on Monday. That’s what I thought.
“When I first talked to [the producers], they told me, ‘last season was so dark, we want to make this season light.’ And I thought, ‘yea, that’s totally us. We are like the crazy Cosby family kind of people.’”
When did you realize you weren’t the Cosby family?
“About two months in, I thought we’re still having fun, they show up to do my makeup and I get to wear it all day, this is really fun. And then Peter’s energy started to shift. So I started asking more and more questions and he was getting more and more snippy about the answers and I just kept saying, ‘I feel like you know something I don’t.’ And after I found out, I thought, really, really?”
You didn’t seem all that mad when you actually found out–
“In the studio a couple of things were going on. One was I had never been that angry on camera before. Two, it was like, is he serious right now? And three is me trying to contain myself from being every other woman I see on reality TV – fighting and angry. So in that moment I was battling all three of those things.”
Last episode we saw you talking about having sex with Peter and taking Plan B, are you still sleeping together?
“That’s been a while – a few months ago. We are not together. I have my reasons. We’ve been together 12-plus years. Did I allow myself to get in a comfort zone and go there with him? Absolutely. But I didn’t do anything different. People were asking how am I going to do that when he’s married. Well, you know he was married for six months when he was living here and I didn’t know about it so now all of a sudden if my conscience doesn’t kick in, I’m sorry. It’s a process.
“The one thing that holds true that I don’t think people get is that it’s a conscious choice that I made for me. It was what I wanted to do in that moment. It had nothing to do with Peter necessarily. I didn’t say after that I want to continue the relationship. It was a human moment. It was what I wanted to do and that’s real. A story has to have a beginning, a middle, and an end, you have to see where the person’s coming from, where they are, and where they’re going. And part of where I was was still somewhat torn and heartbroken, and did I turn to him sometimes for comfort? Absolutely. But the end results were still the same. I was moving on with my life and that’s what I’m doing.”
See what Tara had to say about the possibility of getting back together with Peter on the next page.
Dare we say it, but last night’s episode of LHHNY wasn’t that bad. Of course bad for these folks is like atrocious for the average American citizen, but all in all the ratchet, or shall we say royalty, was kept somewhat to a minimum. Here are some of the mildly messy moments from LHHNY Episode 7.