All Articles Tagged "cheating"
“Nobody Said You Had To Be With One Woman”: Chad Johnson Tries To Justify Cheating, Says Even MLK Was “Hoeing”
In the preview for an episode of Nite Cap with Peter Bailey, Chad Johnson, still doing in-depth interviews about love and why things didn’t work out between him and Evelyn Lozada (a lot of free time I guess), spoke about his issues with monogamy, which seemed to go directly against everything Bailey was saying and standing for. It was definitely a heated but lively back and forth, as Bailey spoke about men messing up good things because of their obsession with sex, and Johnson claiming that love doesn’t pay the bills. But what stood out most from their conversation was Johnson’s statements about Martin Luther King, Jr. and infidelity, which quite a few people aren’t too happy about. Here are some tidbits from that chat:
Johnson: “Nobody said it had to be the way it is. We all trying to follow rules, somebody made those rules up. Somebody made those rules up! Nobody said you had to be with one woman. Nobody said that!”
Bailey: “But isn’t the outcome of multiple women, drama?”
Johnson: “I never had any drama.”
Bailey: Chad…you never had any drama? Chad, the woman you loved got mad at you because you had other women.”
Johnson: “I told the f**in’ truth when I met her!”
Bailey: “But she got mad because of it, so it did cause drama!”
Johnson: “Love ain’t paying no bills man.”
Bailey: “Your idea of love is off.”
Johnson: I’m just telling you the truth.
Bailey: “So you’re not willing to make that sacrifice for that woman?”
Johnson: “I can’t. It’s a great sacrifice but it’s hard to do, and I choose not to sell that dream like I can do it, and that’s the problem now. Why can’t I sit here and tell you the truth?”
On Dr. King And Cheating:
Bailey: “If Dr. King and these guys were realists, we wouldn’t be sitting here. You wouldn’t be sitting in this big ‘ol house. You wouldn’t. When Dr. King was talking this type of stuff and the brothers were like ‘Man, come on man, this ain’t never going to happen.'”
Johnson: “What was Dr. King doing behind closed doors?”
Bailey: “You really going to go there on me, Chad?”
Johnson: “Don’t sugarcoat it.”
Bailey: “It’s been documented that the man had infidelity issues.”
Johnson: “So we not being real right now…You don’t want to say hoeing? Why don’t you just say hoeing?”
Not sure what to make of all he had to say, other than that it’s clear that Chad Johnson really doesn’t seem to believe in love, and now that it’s been made clear like three times already–ladies, run in the other direction (as if there wasn’t good reason to run kicking and screaming before). Check out the preview of his conversation with Peter Bailey below and share your thoughts on his statements:
If you watch “For Better Or Worse” on OWN you know that Tasha Smith’s character Angela can be a bit…abrasive in her approach to relationship drama. If you’ve followed her character since her Why Did I Get Married? days, you’ve seen her cuss, fuss and light Marcus’ ish on fire like some Angela Bassett in Waiting To Exhale type of stuff.
All of her antics lead many people to wonder if the real Tasha Smith is anything like her character. And recently in an interview with theGrio, Tasha Smith offers relationship advice, telling women it wouldn’t hurt them to shut the hell up sometimes, to focus on the positive instead of always dwelling on the negative and don’t beat dudes over the head with the Bible.
But most interestingly, she told women that if a man cheats, just once, and a woman is able to find forgiveness in her heart, she shouldn’t throw the whole relationship away.
“Look I feel like this. No person is perfect. I haven’t, thank God, had any infidelity issues. But you can’t say what you won’t ever do. And you can’t say that you won’t have forgiveness in your heart if there were to be an issue like that. After a certain amount of time that you have established your relationship with your mate, if there is a mistake that’s made and if it’s something….if there is true repentance in that mistake and true change and it’s not going to be an ongoing problem, I feel like, listen ladies, don’t give up your marriage or your relationship over one piece of booty.”
Watch the full interview in the video below and let us know what you think? Can you forgive a man if he cheats just once? Or are you of the mind that once a cheater always a cheater? Do you think she’s giving men license to cheat?
Not that there is such a thing as “good cheating” and “bad cheating” but these celebrity cheaters exhibited a particular lack of self control when they stepped out on the amazing women in their lives time and time and time again.
While dropping my son off at day care one morning, a mommy friend invited me to meet her sister who was visiting. I was instantly intrigued by Bianca*, whose high energy, tight clothes and bright colors were a contrast to my slacks, sweats and earth tones. Because she was so much fun, my husband, Julian*, and I quickly formed a friendship with her. I was the family breadwinner, working 60 hours a week while also earning a business degree. Julian and I had been married for three years, and our love was stronger than ever, but the second I got home from work all I could think about was doing laundry, putting my son to bed and preparing for the next day. Bianca was like a breath of fresh air.
I felt young and free as we started to hang out and she shared steamy stories about her dating life. As someone who never felt sexy, I was fascinated. She was constantly telling me I was beautiful, and the compliments grew. One night we were having a drink when she leaned over and told me she loves going down on women. Then she whispered in my ear, “Let me kiss it.”
Finish the story on Essence.com.
I can yell until I’m blue in the face that the ‘other woman’ is not the problem in your marriage.
I can also scream until I turn red, that the nagging and lackadaisical wife is not the problem neither.
I wrote about my personal perspective before that the only fault in a cheating relationship is the actual cheater. However, most of y’all ain’t trying to hear me and insist on pointing the finger at either the main chick, for not playing her part or the side chick, for doing too much. Perhaps, it has something to do with all the empirical data, which suggests that women much rather hear things from men? However since I am an eternal optimist, I am going to try again to save some of you hoes. And this time, I brought your pastor.
According to All Christian News:
“Andy Thompson, Pastor of the World Overcomers Christian Church, Durham, North Carolina has landed in hot water recently over something he posted on Twitter. He reportedly told women, that if they did not want their man or husband to look at other women, they should themselves shine more and not let the “hoes” or whores beat them to their man.
The untactful tweet was placed by Thompson on April Fool’s day this year and many believe that it may have been his attempt at a practical joke or “April fool.” However, others are not so forgiving for his tasteless attempt at humor, if it was that, one of them is Taurean Brown, writer, speaker, activist and poet on the blog blacksankofa”
According to All Christian News, the actual tweet said, “Ladies if you want to be the only woman your man looks at Shine it Up! Don’t let the Hoes he comes across outshine you! #SaveMarriage”
Naturally, some of the hoes…I mean, women in his congregation (as well as on Twitter) didn’t take too kindly to Thompson’s pastoral advice, particularly the use of the word “ho” to describe women, who exist outside of this hypothetical marriage, which by definition, is just about everyone not married to this winner. Eventually, the pastor allegedly apologized in a YouTube video, for using the term saying that his aim was only to help women. But as All Christian News reports, the apology was peppered with a defense that he was “being misunderstood.”
Well, you know what they say about difficulty levels of pimping…
Seriously though, I am really sick of men setting up these wives, aka main chick, versus single women, aka side piece, paradigms. And I am especially tired of women being silly enough to keep falling for it. Because I know that as much as I am disgusted by this Pastor’s marriage counseling, there are some of you on the other side of the computer screen, talking about, “what’s wrong with that? Some women are hoes.”
Some women are paid for sex, this is true. However, just because your husband/partner/significant other has a wandering eye, it does not make every object of his affection “a ho.” What it does make her, is attractive enough to grab your husband’s attention and a woman who got caught up with some bad D – just like you did.
Our inability to recognize the messiness of the man in the middle is exactly why the male prerogative exists and flourishes. And it is also why the term “mistress” has many adjectives; most of them not nice. However there is no universal term for men, who are being exploited on the side for sex (or whatever other creature comforts). And why not? It’s not like women don’t cheat. Statistically speaking, women cheat just as much. However, the idea of women having side pieces is not socially acceptable and in some instances, as in the case of our dear Pastor Thompson, encouraged only when the cheater is male. And it is encouraged to the point that these men in the middle can deflect his own fault for his sexual transgressions, by placing all the burden of maintaining the virtues of his peter elsewhere. First at the hemlines of the hos for being free-to-mingle. And second onto apron strings of the devoted wife and maybe mother, for not being a ho.
Regardless of the title, women are still only defined by their relationship status. #TeamHomewrecker. #TeamWifeAndMom. Never are we just women. I often wonder what would happen if we start segregating men and their relationship values into categories, based upon how well they can continuously wine, dine and woo us with expensive trinkets. I mean traditional values also say that women like security. What if I had tweeted out something like: “Fellas, if you want to be the only man your wife looks at, MAKE THEM POCKETS DEEPER. Don’t let all those sugar daddies she comes across outspend you! #SaveMarriages.”
Yeah, I imagine my mentions would be filled with another favorite label we like to put on self-determining women: gold diggers.
I can’t wait for the day when women band together like a girl power version of Power Rangers Super MegaForce and defeat this tired, as well as jaded, belief system, which treats supposed grown men as helpless innocents, unable to control their sexual urges and where they put their penises due to the hands of feminine sorcery. I prefer to think more highly of men and their abilities to act more thoughtful than that. Besides, I also know that there are no witches among us.
I’m not 100 percent sure if there is anything going on in her relationship or if Tamar Braxton just wanted to call folks out for being messy (as she tried to do when she put Kenya Moore on blast not too long ago for her behavior with Apollo Nida, calling her “ratchet”), but she had a message to send on social media for side chicks, and women who let their friends get too comfortable with their man. On her Instagram, she had this to say in two posts that she put up last week and at the end of March:
Saw this & I had to Rp for the women who think this is cute… Just in case u r the BOMB or u #won cause u cheating with someone’s man…..U #LOST cause u must NOT be all that for a man NOT to claim you and respect&Love you to show you off to the world! However… U can always tell when a woman ain’t married! Only full time side chicks thinks like this!! How’s that working for you? #wakeup #ulookdumb#hesmashingbuthesgoinghome #dontbeaOLDhoe#ifhelikeitthenhewillputaringonit#hecanttakeuoutinpublic #somebodycouldgethurt#youwill #sitallthewaydown
She also posted this message below for women who are trying to keep their men. Basically, stop bringing all your friends around your man, because not everyone has good intentions:
#randombuttrue #theonesayingLordLordLord& BetHeMAINonetakingofftheydrawsDrawsDraws#dontbenofool #aftermidnight#ifyomamadontlikeherdontyou #stoptellingyobusiness#sitdown #enjoyYOman #shewill #buyloveandwartour #goodnight
Once again, I’m not sure where all of this is coming from, but she’s definitely making some sense. Could be based on rumors that her friends are dealing with cheating men (like her friend Tiny). Or maybe she’s going through something herself with Vince, but let’s hope not. Or maybe, just maybe, Tamar just likes to call out messy folks just because. Anywho, what do you think of the messages she had to share?
A sad reality that many must face in relationships is that we can’t control what our mates do. Even though you might do your best to fulfill their needs, ultimately it’s up to them if they’re going to be faithful. But, if fidelity is simple as it seems? Is it merely just a choice, or are some people more prone to infidelity? Is there a science behind it?
Well, thanks to the study of many scientists, psychologists, and sociologist, I brought you all 14 studies that dissected fidelity and the myths along with it. Remember, that with science all these things are theories, and it’s not indicative of every person that you date/marry. But, the more you know…
If you want to let the world know that your husband is a stinkin’ cheater, social media just won’t cut it. Why not take it back and take out an ad in the newspaper?
That’s what one woman did in Toledo Bend, Texas. According to the Daily Mail, a scorned wife took out an ad in the classifieds to congratulate her husband and his other woman on the upcoming arrival of their child:
I would like to say congratulations to Shara Cormier and Patrick Brown. They are expecting a baby. Hope you both are really in love and I hope it works out. Always, Patrick’s wife, Timeshia Brown.
According to the Daily Mail, relatives and even co-workers of Cormier were reached out to, but declined to comment on Mrs. Brown’s decision to put Cormier on blast. This super messy story was shared on Reddit after someone saw it in the newspaper and posted about it on Facebook. From the looks of the ad, Timeshia is leaving behind her husband, and just wanted to give him one very interesting parting gift. It could be worse…?
What do you think about the ad? Share your thoughts below.
I’ve been with the father of my twins for four years and I know he is cheating on me. I have the password to unlock his phone and I’ve seen text messages from other women from dating sites. I even got into his Facebook account and saw that he was messaging other women. Then, I checked his
Voicemail and I heard a message from another woman. One day, we got into a fight and he told me that he’d only been with me for the last four years because of our twins. I honestly don’t think he loves me at all; he doesn’t even know I found out all of this stuff.
I even set up a fake profile and he responded to and said he was single. When he used to talk about me to other people at a class he would call me his “baby mother,” not “girlfriend.” Over Facebook, he asked a woman in the class if he can gown down on her. Now, again, he doesn’t know I know all of this. I broke up with him and told him he was free to sleep with whomever, but now he keeps trying to sleep with me! He also denies cheating altogether. What do I do with this liar?
Read Dr. Sherry’s response at Essence.com
Mary Mary has been through a lot in the past year. And as they’re prepping for their third season of their hit eponymous WE TV series, they spoke to JET Magazine about some of the toughest challenges they’ve ever had to face.
Erica explained how fans will get to see how they reacted to all of it. ““You see our faith shine, but it was not easy at all– and it won’t look easy watching it,” said Erica about the series. “A lot of people will see themselves. There was so much damage and yet still so much work to be done. I learned that every wound doesn’t have to leave a scar that remains for the rest of your life.”
While they were smiling and spreading the gospel through song for their fans, behind closed doors, Tina was dealing with Teddy’s infidelity, Erica ruptured her vocal chords just as she’s breaking out into her own solo career, their relationship with manager Mitchell is on the rocks and the entire Campbell family is coping with the death of their father.
Referencing her personal relationship with Teddy, Tina said, “I still believe in God and love. I will not live in the horrible space of ‘I’m going to fix him’ or ‘I hate men and marriage.’ You do that for a moment and realize it doesn’t undo anything.”
Erica spoke about how she supported her sister during this trying time saying, “I’ve always been her protector. We are ride or die for each other. When she hurts. I hurt.”
Tina’s strategy in getting through all of this is learning to let go of the reigns a little bit. “I’ve tried to have all the answers and my life became filled with chaos and anxiety. So now I don’t go overboard thinking I must had things right all the time.”
The ladies, who are working solo now, each have different projects. Tina is working on a book of devotionals and Erica’s solo album is set to be released on March 25.
Mary Mary’s issue of Jet will hit newsstands, Monday, February 17th.
“Mary Mary” returns to WE TV on February 27th.