All Articles Tagged "cheating"

Penny For Your Thoughts: Why Are Women Losing Their Jobs And Their Lives Over A Cheating Man?

August 14th, 2015 - By Penny Wrenn
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Relationship how to know if he's cheating or not

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There have been one too many cheating horror stories involving women of color in the news.

First, there was Nancy Acosta, who died in a car crash while trying to run her philandering husband and his mistress off the road.

Then there was the curious case of Barvetta Singletary. The 37-year-old White House staffer fired a gunshot at her beau, a Capitol Hill police officer, after she demanded to see his cellphone because she wanted to know about another woman he was seeing.

There was also the report about Lisa Brown, the mistress of a former NFL player who kidnapped and killed his wife before taking her own life.

And just a few days ago, an unconfirmed story surfaced about a pregnant Ghanaian woman who allegedly committed suicide by jumping from the roof of her home. She did so upon finding out her husband was sleeping with another woman (not to mention that the other woman was…her mother?!).

In the words of my beloved friend Akiba Solomon, “Lord, today.” Which is to say that the world we live in now is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s–and not in a perky, pop song way. Those infidelity-related stories are incredibly sad. There’s nothing more tragic, in fact, than seeing women crash and burn while risking (and losing) their lives and livelihoods for dubious reasons.

Now, I don’t mean to sound off about what are and what are not good reasons to jeopardize one’s life. And I am not questioning whether or not infidelity makes the cut.  I believe that women are entitled to their own “Would I die over this?” hopelessness threshold, the tipping point at which a person or event causes them to completely lose heart. So, no judgment if “a cheating man” is your personal tipping point. But it’s certainly not mine.

And, to be frank, I’ve been a cheater in several of my relationships. That is not a prideful boast or a shameful confession, but it’s worth being upfront about. And though I’m not currently cheating on anyone, I won’t try to circumvent any conventional “once a cheater, always a cheater” wisdom to which you might subscribe.

I’ve also been the other woman in someone else’s relationship. Again: Not proud–but also not ashamed. For most single women, dating is about taking the high road. These women will not consider a male contender unless he’s wife-less and wifey-less. But, admittedly (admittedly and, perhaps, in your opinion, disturbingly), I am not one of those women.

Right now, I’m happy to report that I’m neither cheating in my relationship nor am I the other woman in someone else’s. But my past discretions still seem pertinent to consider, given the spate of infidelity-related incidents in the news and the state of my own love life. Not only have I been noticing numerous women-who’ve-been-cheated-on headlines lately, but I’ve also been getting serious with a guy who I’ve been seeing for a while.  And being at the onset of a relationship in this current events climate has me wondering: Will I cheat on him? Heck, will he cheat on me? (And my short answer to both questions is maybe.)

Look, I won’t say that I’m pro-cheating or that I wouldn’t care at all if a guy I’m dating cheated on me. No one likes to be cheated on–period. You’ll never hear me downright defend auxiliary affairs (strangely, my former cheating ways haven’t turned me into a fan of decidedly open relationships), but I do accept that stuff happens.

And, for me, having a “stuff happens” approach works. You might call it The Four P’s: Preparation, not preparedness; possibility, not pessimism.

Do I actively suspect that my partner will cheat on me and then constantly prowl for evidence? Absolutely not. Do I trust that my partner knows good and well that I don’t want him to cheat on me, but keep in mind that he might cheat on me anyway, because as terrific as he may be, no one’s perfect? Yeah, kinda. 

How will I react if he does cheat? Well, I don’t know.

I won’t feign expertise here. I can’t pretend to know the right way that I, you or any other woman should handle infidelity. And, although I’ve been a cheater, I don’t have much experience as a cheatee. Which isn’t to say that I consider myself immune to being cheated on, mind you. I just can’t say for sure that any of my ex-boyfriends have actually cheated on me, because I can’t recall any of them outright admitting such indiscretions or inadvertently leaving a hot trail for me to find. (I do, however, still have my suspicions that the guy who I dated for a year right after college cheated on me with a woman who became his next girlfriend and to whom he’s now married.)

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably rolled your eyes when you overheard a well-meaning Afro-hippie offer his or her unsolicited advice to a woman scorned. (“Queen, hold your head up–you’re too good for him.”) So, the only New Age-y mantra that I will conjure is this: Like Miguel Ruiz said in The Four Agreements, “Don’t take it personally.”

When and if I’m the victim of someone else’s infidelity, this is the refrain that I’ll repeat to myself over and over again: “His cheating has nothing to do with me, his cheating has nothing to do with me, his cheating has nothing to do with me…”

Having been the other woman, I’ve heard men’s numerous sob stories about a frigid bedmate who clings to the furthest side of the mattress or a spouse who never leaves the office. But guess what? I don’t buy any of ‘em. And neither should you if you’re the co-star in said sob story. I don’t care what he or anyone else says. “My wife won’t have sex with me” and “My wife works too much” are not closing arguments in cases of infidelity. They’re not clinchers. They’re valid complaints, yes, but they don’t unquestionably decide the matter of who’s to blame.

If, somewhere down the line, I discover that a guy I’m now dating has started running around town with a bunch of side chicks, I can’t say that I’d automatically and categorically blast him as the one and only villain.  But I hope to God that I wouldn’t assign sole villain status to myself either.

Besides, what is it about being cheated on that can push us over the edge and hurtling toward self-destruction? Is it our anger toward our unfaithful partner? The self-blame toward ourselves? A combination of both? From what I know about being the other woman, cheaters come in all shapes and sizes, but they rarely, if ever, cheat because of the steady partner who’s in the picture. But maybe if we accepted that cheating has nothing to do with the person who’s being cheated on, we might react differently to it.  Not necessarily turning a blind eye or refusing to care, but not pointing a finger at ourselves or the other woman. 

Having not sought atonement for my prior infidelities, I find it impossible to not be vigilant about the karmic likelihood that I’ll end up a female cuckold. And I’ll keep the four women mentioned above in mind when I do. I’ll try my damndest to remain appropriately responsive and vigilant. I won’t turn a blind eye, but I won’t poke out my own eyes, or anyone else’s for that matter. 

Celebrity Divorce Rumors That Just Won’t Stop

August 5th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: WENN

Image Source: WENN

Despite another round of rumors about their split, Will and Jada aren’t getting divorced. But why do some celebrity couples seem to be constantly battling divorce rumors when they say they’re perfectly happy? Do the tabloids have it in for these couples? Or is there something behind the rumors?

Busted! Cheaters Caught And Put On Blast On Social Media

August 3rd, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Tumblr

Image Source: Tumblr

Did you read about this woman who got caught sexting her side piece by a stranger at a baseball game? It’s getting harder and harder to get away with dirt, and these cheaters caught in the act found that out the hard way. Whatever happened to keeping your business out of the streets?

Et Tu Ben Affleck? Famous Men Who Can’t Be Trusted Around The Nanny

July 31st, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Slept With The Nanny

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So, in shocking cheating celebrity news, it looks like Ben Affleck might be the most recent celebrity to end his marriage by sleeping with the nanny. And he’s certainly not alone. These cheating celebrity husbands also made a big mistake by getting caught with the help.

What Happens When A Woman Tells Wendy Williams She’s Sleeping With A Married Man?

June 26th, 2015 - By Veronica Wells
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sleeping with a married man

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We often hear fables, myths and gossip about women who sleep with married men. Let’s be real, some of us even know these women personally. They’re our wayward friends, the person our cousin used to be back in the day. Some of us have been that woman ourselves.

But rarely do these women present themselves, boldly and proudly to the public.

Well, one such woman stepped forward yesterday on “The Wendy Williams Show” of all places. And as you might imagine, it didn’t go over too well.

During the “Ask Wendy” segment, this woman stood up and said,

“There’s a gentleman that I met a couple weeks ago at an event. He is so hot. And speaking with him for about two minutes or so, the attraction grew. So the problem is, he’s married. The problem is he’s married and I really don’t care.”

Perhaps homegirl didn’t realize that not only is Wendy married, she and her husband Kevin had their own challenges with infidelity in the past. So she was not trying to hear this at all.

And she checked this woman properly.

Check out Wendy’s response in the video below.

What Do You Do When He Cheats? 15 Stars Speak On Infidelity

June 19th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: WENN

Image Source: WENN

In the light of Cynthia Bailey and Peter Thomas’ cheating scandal, a lot of us have been asking ourselves, “what would I do if he cheats?” It’s hard to know if it hasn’t happened to you, so these celebrities share what happened to them.

One Drunken Mistake: What Does And Doesn’t Count As Cheating?

June 18th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: WENN

Image Source: WENN

Are you and your significant other on the same page when it comes to what constitutes cheating? Many couples think they’re in agreement about what’s out of bounds, but they may be confused. So, what does and doesn’t count as cheating?

The Surprising Stats On Cheating: Who’s Really More Likely To Be Unfaithful?

June 8th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: Shutterstock

Image Source: Shutterstock

When you meet a guy, how do you know whether or not you can trust him? These new stats on cheating will have you surprised by the warning signs you should watch out for.

I Know My Man: 15 Celebs Who Remain Unbothered By Cheating Rumors

May 11th, 2015 - By Meg Butler
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Image Source: WENN

Image Source: WENN

In Hollywood, cheating rumors happen. But these celebrity women say they are 100% unbothered by such tales. They give their partner the benefit of the doubt.

Majority Of Women Cheat The Day After Mother’s Day — Here’s Why

May 11th, 2015 - By Kweli Wright
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Husbands better step up their game this year!

Mother’s Day is the day where everyone puts in a little extra effort to make mothers feel appreciated for all that they do. But sometimes, families get lazy and get gifts they obviously bought last minute, or they don’t have any real plans for the day.

It’s infuriating! These women spend most of their days being a good wife and mother, so hurt feelings are completely understandable if others don’t take the holiday seriously.

So, what do wives and mothers do when it’s obvious their families don’t care that much? They cheat the next day.

According to Ashley Madison’s reports, last year, their numbers of sign-ups spiked by 442 percent after the holiday, all thanks to women searching online to have an affair. They expect their numbers to spike again by 500 percent this year.

How should men avoid disappointing the hard-working mother of their children? Give them what they want.

Ashley Madison conducted a survey with 10,817 moms and found that 58 percent want to have a romantic evening with their husband, 33 percent want to get away and relax at the spa in the afternoon, and only 9 percent want time alone to relax.

However, their special day looks nothing like this. Instead, they are still stuck with mommy duty!

The survey found 66 percent of moms end up taking care of kids with a planned activity, 21 percent get a card and flowers, and 13 percent get breakfast in bed from their kids … but have to clean afterwards.

Husbands, take notes if you don’t want her stray!

What do you think of these statistics?