On June 19, Jamaal Vetose of The Culture’s Money podcast sparked a heated debate on Twitter after he took to his account with an uncomfortable opinion geared toward Black men and infidelity.
The entrepreneur and finance guru advised his Black brothers to stay away from male friends that are “comfortable with infidelity.” Vetose didn’t offer more details about his unpopular opinion, but fans and followers wasted no time sounding off about the tweet in the comments section.
Social media users shared mixed reactions to the tweet.
Some people showed support for Vetose’s hot take. A Twitter user named fitness influencer Montel Hardin argued that the piece of advice was especially imperative for Black men who are married. The health coach penned that it was important for Black married men to find friends that will hold them accountable and help to nourish their “high standards.”
Another user named @ExplorativeSoul opined that a man who supports their friend’s infidelity is inadvertently enabling the “emotional harm” being inflicted on the victim.
A third supporter shared that friends should serve as a healthy reflection of you.
“If you are okay with their dishonesty, you are equally untrustworthy,” the user named @KayBoshKay added.
A few opinionated Twitter users didn’t agree with Vetose’s message.
A naysayer named @ThaKidSantana tweeted that he wasn’t going to cut his “manz” off for cheating on his partner.
“That ain’t my business,” he added. Piggybacking off of Santana, James Lee argued that just because a friend cheats doesn’t mean that you will mirror the same behavior because apparently a man’s character isn’t tied to being a liar when women are involved.
Like most of these social media debates, netizens never came to a conclusion on the heated infidelity discussion. People may never see the common ground when it comes to the topic. It’s a layered and complex issue that’s typically personal and nuanced to the individual committing the offense. A study in a 2022 survey conducted by VeryWellMind found that people typically cheated due to anger, low self-esteem, lack of love and a need for variety, among other reasons.
The issue becomes even more complex when talking about infidelity in the Black community.
A 2018 survey conducted by General Social Survey(GSS) claimed that cheating was “more common among Black adults.” Twenty-two percent of ever-married Black respondents said that they had cheated on their spouse, compared to 16 percent of whites and 13 percent of Hispanics.
Black men had the highest rate of infidelity. According to the study, 28% reported that they had sex with someone other than their spouse, compared with 20% of white men and 16% of Hispanic men. The survey suggested that “political identity, family background, and religious activity” and a few other factors could influence a person to cheat.
Now, these statistics could very well be a bunch of garbage as it’s hard to track and survey all of the conditions that prime someone to cheat. It’s also important to note that there are so many incredible Black faithful men that are leaders and astounding fathers in the community today.
But one thing is for sure, Black love has been tested throughout history. And it could speak to the divisive relationship views that are currently being discussed among young Black men and women.
Thousands of families were separated and torn apart during slavery, a nasty legacy that continues to haunt millions of African Americans today. Institutional factors have also been a threat to Black love. During the War On Drugs, the government unleashed tight penalties for drug-related offenses that annihilated Black families.
According to the Associated Press, Black and brown folks’ incarceration skyrocketed in the late ‘60s and ‘70s during the dreadful time period. The Black incarceration rate in America “exploded from about 600 per 100,000 people in 1970 to 1,808 in 2000,” temporarily removing Black men from their families and leaving many women to hold the household together.
Dr. Umar just argued this very point in a recent podcast appearance. Hear what he had to say on the Black Love debate by clicking the link below.
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