Madame Noire | Black Women's Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love

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I have to be honest and start with this: I don’t believe cheaters should be taken back. If you’re not happy with someone, break up with them or talk to them about it. If you just can’t keep it in your pants, don’t be in a relationship. There is no such thing as an “excuse” to cheat. But, love is strong. It’s a hard force to fight and sometimes everything was so good in the relationship, until that one indiscrepancy, that it breaks your heart to end something, even if you’ve been cheated on. But your heart will be broken a hundred times more if you are cheated on again, or if you spend every day feeling like a fool simply for taking him back. So, if you must take back a cheater, put him through the wringer, like this:

blackloveandmarriage.com

Getting over a breakup is never an easy thing, especially if you were the one who was dumped. We may tell ourselves that we’re over him, that we’re better off and that he’ll never find another woman who loves him like we do – but deep down inside, we miss him. We might even want him back. These feelings fresh off a breakup are perfectly normal, and it’s okay to admit that we’re not over him just yet.

But if months and years go by and your feelings are still a little fuzzy, here are a few ways you can tell if you’re still in love with your ex…

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Even though celebrities and real-life acquaintances remind us every day that love (fifty percent of the time) doesn’t last forever, we’re still sad to see couples that we really love break up – especially ones that we believe would’ve made it for the long haul.  For one reason or another, these celeb breakups blindsided us!

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Seal & Heidi Klum

I just…don’t know where “we” went wrong here, people.  Of course, not “we” literally but Seal and Heidi just seemed so good together. Yes, they gave us PDA and multiple wedding ceremonies but it was more than that; they just seemed so cool with each other. I still feel some kind of way that it is really over between them.

hellobeautiful.com

While I normally advise against dipping your pen in the company ink, it’s understandable that the work place is the most natural place to meet people – especially for single folks. After all, most people spend more time at work than with their friends and family, and working closely with people you have common interests with is the perfect breeding ground for starting a relationship. While seeing your boo all day every day can be fun and exciting, keep in mind that if the relationship fizzles, you still have to see him…all day every day. If you’re willing to take that risk, then have fun. But if the relationship ends, follow these steps to keep your sanity – and your JOB – intact.

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madamenoire.com

One of the best things about being in a relationship is having someone that you can communicate with freely, openly and honestly. However, being open and honest doesn’t necessarily entail being mean or disrespectful. While you may have legitimate concerns and issues to address, HOW you talk to your partner can set the tone for your relationship…and ultimately its success. Men have feelings, just like we do, and if you don’t watch your mouth, your words can hurt him…and your relationship. If you are known to “pop off at the mouth,” think before you speak and keep in mind these things to NEVER to say to your man….

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The desire to text an ex can feel like an unstoppable force, especially if you’re intoxicated. Whether liberated by liquor or emotionally needy, here are some sobering thoughts to make you put down that that phone….

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Everybody has patterns. If you think you don’t have one, then your pattern might just be constantly fighting not to do the same thing you did in all of your previous relationships, which is a pattern in itself. Falling into these patterns might be slowing you down in your search for Mr. Right:

madamenoire.com

Misunderstanding comfort
Have you ever met someone you feel oddly comfortable with right off the bat? You somehow have them figured out already—you know what makes them laugh, what not to say around them, and there is instant chemistry. And you can’t quite put your finger on why. Often it’s because he has certain traits (the bad traits) your ex had, and nearly every ex before that, and you aren’t picking up on them yet. All you’re picking up on is the chemistry, because that chemistry is strong. But don’t let it be overpowering. If you feel an instant click with someone, ask yourself, “Is he similar to my ex?”

blackloveforum.com

When you care about someone, you want to take on their life, and that includes their problems. And while you should absolutely be a source of support and even of good advice for your partner, there are some areas of his life that is neither your business nor your problem. If you ever find yourself feeling drained, emotionally exhausted, or most frequently stressed than you were when single, your man may have put too much on you. Or, you might just be taking too much on.

It’s 2012, and some of us began the New Year newly single. While breaking up over the holidays can be devastating, it’s not the end of the world. Breakups hurt, and you should be allowed to grieve, but there are some mistakes that people make when dealing with a broken heart. If you just went through a painful breakup, here are some things NOT to do in the aftermath to help you find your way back to peace of mind after the end of a relationship.

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Yes, you miss him. You miss the consistent sex, the affection, the dependable date to plus-one events and being able to say “we” before every sentence. You lost some things in the breakup. But what about the things you gained?! Normally, it would take you weeks if not months to discover them. But, I’m just going to line them up here so you can start getting excited about your new single life now: