All Articles Tagged "breakups"
By Amanda Chatel, From YourTango
After a breakup that almost destroyed me, I took to my bed for not just days but weeks. I wasn’t just broken, but whatever is the next step worse than that, horrifically devastated, might be the most accurate explanation of the state of my mind and heart. As with anyone who’s just experienced heartbreak, I was quite sure I wouldn’t recover.
Once I was able to get out of bed, I went through the motions of being alive, as one does after such a thing. I remembered my routine: Getting up every morning, brushing my teeth, showering, and then off to work. I was moving and breathing, but I was like walking dead. The pain was just unbearable.
But time passed and everyday I grew a little bit stronger. I moved to New York City, started a new beginning, and even began dating again. I felt like I had come full circle and he was just a distant memory; a memory I assumed, or rather hoped, I’d never see again. Then one night the unfathomable happened: I ran into him. Of all the bars in all the cities in the world, there he was. It turned out that he, too, had decided New York was the place to be.
My stomach dropped. I began to shake. I couldn’t feel the ground beneath me and I was pretty sure that I was going to throw up all over the floor, any neighboring person, and myself. It was going to be a projectile vomit; the kind that comes with extreme emotional distress. I grabbed my friend’s hand to steady myself as he came walking toward me. I could not believe he was walking toward me.
We exchanged pleasantries; I guess that’s what one would call them, and he asked about my family and I asked about his. I commented on the weather because it had been a hot summer and he commented on the length of my hair. I also ordered another drink, because, dammit, I needed one.
As I proceeded to get tipsier, the fear and nervousness began to melt. I was able to laugh and the comfort level we had between us was back again, although it had been almost two years. I realized, although I missed him and always would, I was in the process of moving on from him, despite the nausea and trembling earlier in the evening. I felt good, to be honest. So, when he asked me to go home with him, I did. Because OF COURSE, I did. I thought I could somehow prove even more to myself that I was over him and, in my mind, having sex seemed like the best way to really solidify that. Yes, at the time, it was a drunken idea, but some of the best decisions we make come out of a bottle of whiskey.
Read more about breakups at YourTango.com
The only thing worse than the breakup itself are the conversations you have after it. When things don’t end with a clean break, things get crazy quick. Lets all take a moment to laugh at the dumb stuff exes say when it’s finally over.
I Talked To Your Mother The Other Day
There is nothing like the relationship that just won’t end. Your relationship is over but he’s still talking to your mother and Facebooking your sister.
Over the weekend, it was announced that Nicole Murphy and Michael Strahan ended their five-year engagement. As it turns out, the Hollywood couple felt that their relationship could no longer thrive with the two of them living on opposite sides of the country.
“They love each other very much, but with the distance and work schedule it has been hard to maintain their relationship,” a rep confirmed to People.
Although Michael and Nicole decided to end their engagement several weeks ago, sources say that Michael was completely blindsided by Nicole’s recent announcement. We found it to be pretty ironic that the split was announced just before Michael was scheduled to be inducted into the NFL Hall of Fame and according to TMZ, friends of the former Giants star don’t believe that this was coincidental.
Apparently, those close Michael have been speculating that Nicole strategically planned to announce the breakup at the same time of the induction in an effort to rain on one of the biggest moments of her ex-fiancé’s career. Sources are claiming that the breakup announcement was released while Michael was smack in the middle of receiving his yellow Hall of Fame blazer.
We wouldn’t go as far as to say that Nicole was looking to ruin Michael’s moment, but the announcement did appear calculated. Michael, however, seemed to thoroughly enjoy the weekend regardless. Ironically, he opened his speech stating, “This has been the best weekend of my life.”
What do you think? Should Nicole have held off on announcing the split?
Follow Jazmine on Twitter @JazmineDenise
Life will twist and turn while you’re dealing with a breakup. You may find yourself munching on sugary cupcakes by day and dancing on tables by night and in between these moments, deleting all your “so-in-love” photos on social media. But before you hit that “delete” button on your pictures, Toronto native Cassandra Blackwel has another option for you: Beyoncify your boyfriend! Buzzfeed reports when Blackwel broke up with her boyfriend instead of deleting every picture of them together, she photoshopped his face with the face of our Beloved Queen Bey.
Blackwel even turned her post-breakup photo project into a Tumblr page and is taking requests to Beyoncify everyone’s ex-boyfriend. She says: “It’s an ode to how much effort I put into the relationship, if you will.” In an interview will Elle Magazine Online, Blackwel said her project doubled her Twitter following and helped her forget about her break-up. Although many find her breakup recovery tactic a bit strange, Blackwel says of her project: “I think it’s doing so well because everyone can relate to it. It’s just fun and innocent I think that’s why everyone is enjoying it. I made the blog for my friends and never expected it to get like this.”
With submissions streaming in for her to Beyoncify other men, Blackwel claims the project helps alleviate the pain during any breakup period. She notes, “ If imagining yourself at your happiest with Beyoncé doesn’t help, I don’t know what will.”
Blackwel ain’t say nothing but a word!
Below you will find some pictures of Blackwel Beyoncifying her ex-boyfriend via her Beyoncify Beyonce Tumblr Page:
For more pictures, check out Beyoncify My Boyfriend. Will you be submitting a photo?
Never have we covered Bow Wow so much on this site. But the man-child’s name is hot in the streets this week…for all the wrong reasons.
Remember last week, we wrote about Bow Wow saying he was tired of making women famous? He also said that he wouldn’t put his girlfriends on Instagram until he knew they were serious about him. Well, the woman he was subliminally referencing, video vixen Ayisha Diaz, clapped back and we are here for it.
She posted this note on Instagram:
It’s more than time that someone called Bow Wow out on his nonsense. Their little relationship was so quick and kept so far under wraps that had he not posted that messy Instagram message, no one would have ever known that their situation ended. But being the kiss and tell type that he is, he posted on the gram knowing the blogs would pick it up.
And it is interesting that she is the first of Bow Wow’s string of girlfriends to speak out on his messiness, especially in light of him talking about both Ciara and Angela Simmons’ sex skills. I’m sure he might not take too kindly to the message or even receive it but I certainly wish he would learn to stop being so immature.
What do you think about Ayisha’s message to Bow Wow?
Breaking up might be hard to do but isn’t impossible. Everyone is bound to call it quits with someone on the romantic front — it’s a part of life we have to experience. While it can be painful, there is a silver lining in separating from a flame. Did you know it can actually be beneficial to your worklife? Check out these reasons why breakups can be good for business.
You know what they say. Art imitates life and we all know the best inspiration for love songs is love stories both good and bad. And as much as we love a happy love song, the messy ones tend to catch our attention even more. So let’s jump in shall we.
Relationships are hard. In fact, starting and maintaining them may very well be one of the most difficult things to do in life. Why you ask? Because while involved with someone, no matter how old or new the relationship is, you are vulnerable, and there’s always a chance that your heart may get broken.
For the past few years, I decided to take a brief hiatus from dating because of a massive heart break I experienced with a man I was involved with for quite some time. I said to myself that I wouldn’t have any interaction with men because I needed time to heal and mend the pieces of not only my shattered heart, but my self-esteem and trust.
While on this vacation from dating, I realized that during my healing process, I’d become mentally and emotionally closed off from the idea of having a new relationship. I remember that I kept telling myself, ‘I’m good being single’, ‘I’m more than happy without a man in my life.’ In so many words, I talked myself out of even wanting a relationship. Truth be told, I was borderline boycotting them!
And while I still am happy with my own company, I had to take some time and ask myself why was I so hesitant about getting out there and trying to meet someone new. Of course, the answer was obvious–I didn’t want my heart crumbled again. I know this may seem like the typical answer for most of us who’ve had our hearts broken, but it’s true that no one enjoys being hurt, especially when it involves matters of the heart. So after careful consideration and several pep talks, I decided that it was time for me to take a step out into the dating world and open myself up to the idea of letting someone new in. However, I’ve learned how to do this while guarding my heart. If you’re looking to do the same, keep these simple things in mind:
Keep things on the surface.
How did I do this? By not allowing myself (and my feelings) to get deeply involved in things too fast. And most importantly, by being clear about the nature of the relationship from the start.
Don’t have expectations for a new guy.
I can’t expect anything from someone that I’m in the process of getting to know. Why? Because this is the fastest way for me to be disappointed in who they may or may not be according to who I want them to be. Also, it’s not fair for me to have preconceived notions and expectations set, so I had to learn to let a person show me who they are and take them or leave them from there.
Enjoy the time you spend together but don’t make more of it than what it is.
So many times we overlook and overanalyze time spent with someone we enjoy being around because we want to know what each moment means, or what the future will hold. Learning not to overevaluate things saved me a lot of time and allowed me to enjoy the moment, which is ultimately what matters.
I understand that I’m the only person who can prevent or allow my heart to be broken.
This was a lesson hard learned but well-appreciated, because it allowed me to see the mistakes I’ve made and how I can prevent them from happening again.
Time is not of the essence.
I had to learn to take my time with a new “love” interest and get to know as much about him as I can without placing pressure on myself to get him down the aisle!
Keeping my heart open to love while protecting it is a hard task, but it’s something that is a must in order for me to move forward with relationships. The more I keep these simple things in mind, the better off I’ll be.Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin
It’s been nearly ten years since Eric Benét and ex-wife, Halle Berry split. However, unsurpisingly, such a high-profile relationship is difficult for the public to forget. Their divorce was plagued with rumors of cheating and conflicting reports that pegged Benét as a sex addict. The “Sometimes I Cry” singer has since moved on and found love in Prince’s ex-wife, Manuela Testolini, but he admits that the Halle chapter is still very much a part of his story.
“You’re never able to take the players out of the story, but in anybody’s life, there are personal hurdles that’ll make you wonder ‘How did I get here?’” he told theGrio about his split from Berry. “But on the other side of that, if you stay positive, if you keep moving, if you stay still and try to observe, absorb and learn as much as you’re supposed to learn in that pain, there’s a whole lot of evolution and light on the other side.”
While the divorce was clearly a challenging time in his life, the 47-year-old father says the experience taught him a lot.
“One of the great things about that time was learning to shut out the noise … Realizing what’s important to me is my family, my daughter and my career. It was a way to learn how to shut everything and it doesn’t really matter what you think and I know what the truth is. I’ll keep moving forward, ” he added.
As for whether or not he still speaks to his Academy Award-winning ex-wife, Benét says:
“No we haven’t stayed in touch. I just keep moving forward and being happy.”
And speaking of difficult times, he also opened up about losing his daughter’s mother in 1993 following a tragic car accident.
“My daughter, India, for most of her life I was a single father,” he explained. “Her mother passed away in a car accident when she was 15 months old. As you can imagine, there’s really no way to describe how [that feels]. There was so much loss and fear and trepidation about the future. Am I going to be able to do this. I mean, I had this amazing partner to parent this beautiful person with me. At the end of the day, I had my family, I had God and I had this amazing little baby.”
Thankfully, Benét says life is certainly looking up these days.
When you’re on the receiving end of being broken up with, it can be a pretty tough pill to swallow, especially if the breakup came out of left field. Despite all of the hurt and frustration, you’ll want to do everything in your power to not go off the chains. Here is how to avoid being the crazy ex-girlfriend that becomes infamous for being straight up nutty, embarrassing herself, and eliminating all traces of self-dignity.