When a lover betrays your trust, you may develop an intense desire for revenge. You may want to make them feel some of the pain that you felt when you learned of their disloyalty. While getting back at an ex for doing you wrong may seem like it will make you feel better, those feelings are likely to be short lived. And in some cases, you may feel even worse after. Instead of wasting more time and energy on a person who has already proven that they’re unworthy, here are 10 ways to move forward in a constructive way that you won’t regret later.
Seek true healing
This process will look different from person to person and oftentimes, it’s not a linear one. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but submitting to your personal process is a must. Allow yourself to feel all of the feelings and then give your heart the time that is needed to fully mend.
Tackle a new project
Taking on a new project — whether it be home improvement or tapping into your creative side in some other way — is an effective way to redirect the negative energy that you may be dealing with as a result of the betrayal. When you have something that you can consistently work at for an extended period of time, it helps to shift your focus so that you’re not as fixated on the circumstances of the betrayal.
Set a professional goal
There’s something about a breakup that always seems to place you back on track at work if you’ve been slacking in that area. Some relationships, especially the wrong ones, pose major distractions.
Set a personal goal
Setting and executing goals can provide a great sense of accomplishment while also raising your spirits and boosting your self-esteem. Your goal can be as simple as finishing that bool you started last year and had been meaning to finish or as complex as lowering your debt-to-income ratio.
Go on a trip
Some time away from your everyday environment can help you to gain a new perspective. Add in a little rest and relaxation and you’ll return home feeling like a brand new woman.
Heartbreak sucks, but self-care helps. As you continue to persevere through these challenging times, don’t forget to mother yourself. Pay close attention to what your needs are and fulfill them.
Get in tune spiritually
Get intimate with whatever diety to whom you pray. Be honest about how you’re feeling and use your brokenness as a way to get closer to God. Spiritual enlightenment is often birthed from times of sorrow and difficulty.
Something that terrifies you
What is one thing that you’ve always wanted to do but have always been too afraid to? Whatever that thing is, do it. Conquering your fears can boost your self-esteem and provide an overall feeling of satisfaction.
Exercise comes with physical and emotional post-breakup benefits. As you work to get in shape, you will begin to feel better about yourself. Additionally, physical activity can assist in redirecting anger.
Get back out there
This may not be something you do immediately, but one of the best things that you can do after a betrayal is to continue living and loving. Do not allow someone else’s weak morals and poor judgement to keep you from the people who are willing to treat you how you deserve to be treated.