All Articles Tagged "baby"
When you’re pregnant for the first time, you’re hit with a barrage of unsolicited advice. Advice on how to handle labor, how to effectively breastfeed, or how you should stock up on sleep since you’ll miss those precious hours of slumber once the baby arrives. And you might receive the, “Your marriage will definitely change” counsel.
The last vague statement leads to much interpretation: “Does it mean that my husband and I won’t have any time for ourselves?” and “Will we forget who we were before the baby arrived?”
While those above assumptions are expected, it does not paint a great picture of how exactly your relationship will be altered after your baby’s arrival.
Like most situations in parenthood, many people think they are the only ones going through “it.” It wasn’t until four months after our child was born that another couple, who we are friends with, started a conversation about the struggle they encountered after their baby was born, just five months before ours arrived. While we laughed as we exchanged stories, through our conversation, I was relieved that our experiences were somewhat similar, and therefore, normal.
The truth is, as excited as my husband I both were about our new baby, I can honestly say that I underestimated the effect our daughter would initially have on our marriage.
It’s no secret that men and women communicate differently, and it’s even more apparent in parenthood. I’m a worrier by nature, my husband isn’t, so when our baby was born, my nerves were at an all-time high. For example, I freaked out when the swaddle blanket was over her face or when she started rolling over at night (for fear of suffocation). My husband didn’t take any of my concerns seriously, and neither of us knew how to effectively communicate why we felt the way we did.
Plus, the sporadic sleep didn’t help. After a few arguments in the wee hours of the night, we both came to the conclusion that it was better to communicate when neither of us were in zombie mode.
Psychotherapist Joyce Marter, LCPC, told Psych Central that a lack of sleep takes a toll on everyone. “Sleep deprivation sinks your mood, makes it harder to cope effectively with stress and exacerbates mood swings and anxiety,” Marter said. “And that’s just what it does to each person.”
As a new mother, I strove not to nag my husband on his particular methods of handling the baby and decided that I would just be content with him contributing to the cause. This sounded easy but soon became frustrating when he didn’t understand why I wanted to do things a certain way, causing my initial silence to soon be replaced with side-eyes. Yes, I appreciated having a husband who didn’t hesitate to help with our newborn, but there was definitely resentment that would build when I felt like I was doing a hell of a lot more all on my own.
Marter pointed out that most couples have vague responsibilities that lead to trouble. She said of one of her clients, “By sitting down and reviewing the morning’s tasks, the husband was able to select several items that his wife agreed would be helpful for him to manage, she said. By sharing responsibilities and communicating more effectively, some of the stresses new parents face can be quelled. “Relationship requires give and take when figuring out fairness,” Marter said.
There’s no doubt that marriage is hard and can only get harder once a little person comes into the picture. But it’s all about compromise and explicitly explaining your goals. As hard as it can be, I agree with Marter on the idea that couples should, “Focus on the big things and let the small stuff go.” And while a child should change your marriage, it should change it for the better, not the worst.
TLC’s T-Boz may be preparing for motherhood for the second time around after 14 years. And it’s been reported that the 45-year-old chanteuse is going the adoption route this time.
According to legal docs obtained by TMZ, the news of the TLC member’s adoption was accidentally brought up during a conversation with a lawyer regarding a $40 million lawsuit over the TLC movie.
During the conversation, T-Boz was asked if she had any communication with group member Chili about the lawsuit. T-Boz’s reply was to the affect that the only communication the two had shared was the news about her adoption.
Back in 2012, T-Boz shared her interest in adopting a child from Haiti to Larry King.
Although she hasn’t spoken out on the reports or released a statement, just last week she posted a photo of her 14-year-old daughter, Chase, with a sentimental caption:
“It’s hard 2 believe this lil munchkin will be 15 yes old soon. But I still see my sweet lil baby with those cute lil pouty lips lol @chaserolison #WhenAMotherRealizesHerBabyIsGrowingUp.”
Sounds like our girl T-Boz definitely has baby fever!
The first time I ever heard of a “push present” was when Tamar Braxton was shading hubby Vincent Herbert on “The Real” after he neglected to give her one after birthing baby Logan. He later made up for his oversight by gifting her with a huge diamond ring. Then there’s the rumored $770,000 tiger-striped diamond ring Kanye blew on wife, Kim after delivering North West in addition to sparing no expense on a birthing suite complete with leather sofas, mani/pedis and blow outs at Kim’s command in between breastfeeding and burping (which I am going to assume she did herself).
After I gave birth to my daughter last fall, I barely got an Edible Arrangement let alone a tiger diamond, but the idea of getting a “push present” after having a lavish baby shower and having the world wait on you hand and foot for nine months just screams excessive greed to me. It makes a sad statement on a culture I feel is no longer appreciating moments for that sentimental value and using them as mere opportunities to “turn up and get stuff”.
Don’t get me wrong, milestones in life such as weddings, births, graduations should be celebrated. The problem for me is when people think these times are an excuse to have their hand out, especially when a side-eye is given to any gift that someone didn’t have to invest a whole year’s salary into. People are expecting more and more for less and less energy and effort. Don’t get me wrong, I feel like any woman who can endure pregnancy and birth deserves all the respect and love in the world, but at the end of the day you aren’t doing anything your body wasn’t already designed to do. You didn’t colonize another planet for humans to live on or invent an alternative energy source, you gave birth and women have been doing it for millions of years without a “push present” to look forward to.
I won’t feed you some Hallmark BS about how a beautiful, healthy baby should be all the gift you need after giving birth. After having a c-section I was nursing a mean set of staples and hadn’t bathed for at least two days. Not only was I being harassed by a nurse about if I had passed gas yet, but also by an annoying photographer that wanted to take pics of me and my newborn while I sat in a satin bonnet looking anything but “glowing”. Trust me, a push present may have took my self-esteem up a few notches (but I didn’t actually have to “push” so I guess that’s why my present wasn’t in sight). So I totally understand how a woman wants to feel appreciated and rewarded for getting that mini human into the world safely after a labor that might make you feel like you’re going to meet your maker. But if what Tiffany locket you’re going to get to makes or breaks your priorities as a new mom, I’m going to need you to get it together. And it’s one thing if you’re child’s father is Vincent Herbert who is worth a reported $10 million, but if you are parading a flashy push present and wondering how you are going to afford formula: Get your priorities straight, ASAP. This also applies if you’re hype about a getting a Birkin diaper bag from a guy who also impregnated his side chick at the same time.
The Today Show recently asked viewers how they felt about push presents with 45% saying they weren’t fans, 28% responding that they were great and the remaining 27% who were clueless about the whole process like me thinking, “Does you partner pop up with a Tiffany bracelet before or after cutting the cord?”.
Look, I’m not hard to please. After 8 months of motherhood , I’ll take a good six hours of sleep and a bottle of Yellowtail Big Bold Red as push presents. But in all honesty I must say there are sweet simple moments in motherhood that money just can’t buy. And if your partner wants to get you a little something for harboring another human being over your bladder for almost a whole year, that’s awesome. But it matters not if that same person is pulling a no show during every 3 AM feeding. At the same time if he blanks on the push present, but spends the next year covered in spit up and swaddling mid REM, you’ve probably got a winner even if you don’t have a new piece of jewelry to show for it.
Most importantly, giving birth should your first and most important lesson in motherhood: It’s no longer only about you. If you’re more concerned about flossing your gifts for the ‘Gram and getting a pat on the back, you might need to nip that narcissism in the bud before baby takes his first steps.
How do you feel about “push presents”? Here’s how other women felt about the business of getting gifts for giving life:
“I have no idea what that is. I’ve never heard of it. But in regards to presents, I think that American culture is constantly inventing new reason to receive presents and it’s shallow and unnecessary.”
“I never heard about ‘push presents’ until a friend asked was my child’s father getting me one when I was pregnant earlier this year. I knew he wasn’t, so she ended up getting him one to give it to me. Apparently, I definitely deserved one.”
“It’s cute. Like a ‘thank you for sacrificing your abs to bring my baby into the world.'”
“People hype about a ‘push gift’ and got a trifling behind baby’s dad. Explain how that makes sense?”
“I thought gifts were just for the baby. Damn, the mom gets a gift too? Does dad get anything? I mean he showed up at least once for this whole process.”
Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting education coordinator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She also advocates for women’s reproductive rights and blogs about everything from beauty to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.
Terrence Howard is about to be a father, again!
The actor and his wife Miranda, are expecting their first child together! Terrence announced the couple’s good news during a New Year’s Eve Party in California. After performing onstage, Howard brought his wife onstage and told the crowd “Terrence and Mira are expecting their first baby!”
Both Miranda and Terrence were photographed rubbing her belly on stage.
Terrence is already a father of three children, shared with his ex-wife Lori McCommas. He was also married to Michelle Ghent, making Miranda his third wife. Terrence has been in the headlines for the last few months thanks to his nasty divorce from Ghent. Thankfully, the two finalized things a few weeks ago.
It looks like Terrence will finally be able to focus his attention on his new wife and baby.
Congratulations to the happy couple.
2014 was definitely the year of the celebrity baby! And in honor of all of the mini celebs born this year, check out some of the most adorable celebrity pregnancy announcements of 2014.
This year’s ALS Ice Bucket Challenge was full of surprises, but actress Zoe Saldana took “shocking” another level when she avoided the ice by announcing that she and her husband Marco Perego were pregnant with their first baby!
Two Philadelphia transit officers helped a woman deliver a beautiful baby while on a train!
According to reports, the delivery happened while on the Market-Frankford subway train in Philadelphia. Sgt. Daniel Caban and Officer Darrell James responded to a call that a woman needed help. When they arrived separately, the officers each realized the woman was giving birth! The two helped the woman successfully deliver her beautiful baby boy. The mother and child were both okay after the delivery and transported to the hospital.
The surprise delivery brought out the best in the Philadelphia cops. Sgt. Daniel Caban told reporters, “I had already opened all my presents. I didn’t know I had another one waiting for me around 5:53 this afternoon,”
As for James he said, “They tell us there will be crazy days. They never told me it would be on Christmas Day now, but all in all, this is a blessing,
It’s beautiful to see the good in police officers. In the current state of our community, it serves as a reminder that there are good cops out there.
Thank you to the officers and congratulations to the mother!
Forget Blue, North and Apple. These days the old fashioned is in fashion, making vintage baby names like Cora and Caleb the more trendy choice for parents looking to give their child a classic moniker with a slightly modern edge. Plucked from popularity lists at least 100 years old, these names range from the biblical to the mythological and are all just as notable today as they were back in their prime. Hit the flip for our picks of the best vintage baby names for boys and girls.
Oldies but Goodies: 30 Vintage Baby Names for Boys & Girls
When it comes to wardrobe staples for infants, leggings are an absolute must. Even we moms have all been there–when you want to look good yet feel comfortable–and the same rules apply to the kiddos. Throw on some leggings. They just make things super breathable which allows us mommies on-the-go to keep things moving. Here are some adorable baby legging options for your little son or daughter.
15 Cutest Baby Leggings Ever
Amina Buddafly, wife to veteran rapper Peter Gunz, is officially a mother. The “Love and Hip Hop New York” star gave birth to a daughter on July 29.
Personally, I’m still in a bit of shock. When Amina announced that she was carrying Peter Gunz’ baby, I thought the whole thing was a sham. I didn’t place too much faith in their relationship either, considering Peter Gunz himself admitted that he only behaved so scandalously on television so he could make money for his family.
But I guess he took that acting thing pretty seriously because now there’s a new life in the world and based on recent interviews from both Peter and Amina, it seems like they’re trying to make things work in their marriage. Peter says he’s in therapy trying to become a better man and husband and Amina who’s always been down to ride says that she would die for him and is seeing things that are giving her more hope in their relationship.
Either way, their daughter, who was born on Tuesday, hasn’t made a social media appearance yet but Amina did release a statement via her Facebook and Instagram accounts.
No word yet on whether Peter was there for the delivery or not. His last tweet was sent out on July 25, where he detailed the sunburn he was getting from vacationing in the islands, apparently with the two sons he and Tara have together. On Instagram, he posted a shot of his sons the day of his daughter’s birth and even an “inspirational” quote and funny meme but no word about his baby girl yet.
Hopefully, he didn’t miss the birth and just wants to keep things private and under wraps for right now. You never know.
Either way, a baby is always cause for celebration so congratulations to Peter and Amina and we’ll be sure to keep you updated on their story and their new bundle of joy.
For days the folks at Baby K’tan have been at the center of controversy after a photo of two of their baby sling packages went viral. While thousands rallied against the company’s apparent omission of the African American father in the packaging, I waited; fully expecting the Baby K’Tan PR machine to churn out a “sincere” apology complete with a Jerry Maguire-esque declaration of their love for black people. Instead, the company released a response to the social media melee, that was, as one Facebook user put it, “a bit snippy, unapologetic, and with not a hint of understanding or compassion.”
“We wholeheartedly reject any false, unfounded and baseless claims of discrimination as depicted in the above misrepresentation.”
Not exactly what I was looking for. But probably because, as it turns out, Baby K’tan is a rather small company. Actually, “small” would be a vast understatement. They’re a team of about ten people. They don’t have a PR “machine.” So their response — as disappointing as it may have been to most — was theirs. It was genuine. And much more than that, it was grounded in fact.
The fact that the packages shown are only two of five that exist for the Baby K’tan slings.
The fact that of those five packages, four feature a picture of just the mother and child.
The fact that the product that features the black mother is actually more expensive than the others; not cheaper, as people have been complaining. (Chalk that up to it being inaccurately priced by the retailer in that photo, NOT Baby K’tan.)
And the fact that WE are the ones assuming that the black mother on the package is single.
Do we really think that the black father’s not in the picture just because he’s, well– not in the picture?
Do we think the same when looking at the package of the white woman standing alone with her child?
Yes, one-on-one, side-by-side, it would appear that something — someone — is missing. But there are a lot of people missing on the Baby K’tan packages. Where are the Asian women? The same sex couples? What about the BBWs?
There isn’t a box big enough to depict all of the different types of people and families that exist in today’s society. And as much as we may not like it, Baby K’tan is well within their right NOT to show those images on their products…just like the hundreds of other companies out there that have ZERO diversity whatsoever in their marketing efforts; you know, the companies we haven’t spent the past week publicly shaming, calling them racist and vowing to boycott their products.
Is Baby K’tan diverse?
Does their packaging misrepresent black families?
Are people overreacting?
Regardless of how you answer those questions, before we get all amped up about who is or isn’t being misrepresented; before we jump to attach labels to people, packages, or companies and share pictures that stir up controversy, perhaps we should first worry about whether or not the truth is being represented, and make our decisions based off of that. Otherwise we find ourselves fighting unnecessary battles and making enemies out of those who are actually friends.