Husband Hunting? 10 Traits To Look For In A Spouse

November 12, 2011  |  
1 of 11

 

The primary reason men and women don’t understand one another are because they don’t take the time to truly try. We have to understand that men’s and women’s brains simply process information differently. The exact same event could happen to a man and a woman, and most likely two entirely difference responses will occur.

We have to work to understand where the opposite sex is coming from, and only then are we open enough to commit.  However, after women are ready, some men unfortunately are not.  Fear not, the man for you is out there, but it’s your job to set yourself up for success from the start.  Take a look at these top 10 traits women should look for in their future spouse, to ensure an open, honest, fun and lasting relationship.

 1. Commitment

To men, the dreaded “C-word” often implies compromise, loss of independence, sacrifice of sexual variety, and financial devastation. According to the National Marriage Project, a study undertaken at Rutgers University, men today are overwhelmingly hesitant about getting married. However, cohabitation, basically commitment with an escape route, is on the rise.  Women crave commitment to feel safe, secure, wanted and special and cohabitation allows men to give a false sense of those things, without a concrete commitment.

2. Communication

Women want their feelings to be heard and understood, not solved. We want to be able to talk to our loved one and share our life.  Men are naturally programmed to problem-solve.  If they hear an issue, they want to analyze it and ultimately find a solution.  Shakespeare nailed it on the head when he said, “women speak two languages- one of which is verbal.”  This means that half of the communication women speak is through listening.

3. Emotionally Stable

Women want to be the emotional one in the relationship. Confidence and independence are very appealing traits in a man, insecurity and needy are not. Most women look for a strong partner they can lean on. At the same time, women want a man to tell her, and show her how important she is to him.  This can include flowers, a sweet phone call or a random text in the middle of the day.  Truly, the smallest gestures can mean the most.

4. Confidence. 

There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness.  Women want a man that exhibits confidence in public and can easily handle difficult situations. It takes a confident man to be secure and respectful.  Since men mature much later than women, yes that’s science; older men are more often a safer bet maturity/confidence wise.  Don’t be fooled though, some men seem to never grow up, and there are exceptions with younger men as well.  Observe how he treats you in public compared to at home, and decide if it’s true confidence, or a little boy hiding in men’s clothing.

5.Responsible

Women want a secure man who admits when he makes a mistake, and takes responsibility for his own actions. One of the meanings of the word “husband” is someone who skillfully manages his household. A manager takes responsibility. If a man wants to be seen as a worthy partner he has to show leadership. When he sees a situation that needs to be dealt with, he should step forward and handle it; women admire that.  Also, if kids are in your future or in your life already, you want a strong, responsible role model for them to look up to, not another buddy that is making childish mistakes and hiding behind you for protection.

6. Respectful (especially to his Mom)

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but the way a man treats his mom has a direct correlation to how he might treat you.  The female role that a mother plays in her son’s life can be the most stable example he has.  During his life he has seen his mother deal with many issues that women go through, and how she has responded and therefore expected to be comforted.

7.  Sense of Humor

Women love a man that can be funny and make them laugh. It does not mean that women want their men to be jokers but there are many times that laughter is the best medicine. Women are emotional creatures that like being happy and enjoy light and joyous moments. A good sense of humor along with confidence and a positive outlook can trigger the right buttons in a woman.

8. Honesty

Honesty is what builds trust in a relationship. It is much easier to forgive your man’s mistakes, if they are honest and upfront to begin with. Hiding things and dishonesty infuriates women, allowing the unsettled feeling of betrayal to suffocate the relationship.  Women must communicate this to their man, and understand that the truth isn’t always an easy pill to swallow.  Be prepared for the worst, but understand that it’s better to know now, rather than 5 years down the road when the commitment and emotional reliance is much deeper and therefore harder to walk away from.

9.Driven

Women want an ambitious guy that is in control but not controlling. They are driven by goals, and are result-oriented. They don’t let anything stop them and have a genuine desire to excel in a particular area in their life.  Whether it is in the office, or a weekend softball league, they commit, they show up, and they succeed

10. Romantic

Women love to be wooed.  Women want to be pursued and courted by a man eager to win their attention.  Women want to feel desired and important during the “honeymoon” stage of the relationship, and eventually a feeling of security in a long-term commitment. Little gestures like holding doors, picking up the tab at dinner, reaching for your hand in public, and offering to fix things around the house, work like magic.  All too often, these little gestures fade with time.  Be sure to keep the spark alive and don’t be afraid to send gestures to your man either!

 

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