The Cuffing Season Commandments

October 21, 2011  |  
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It’s mid October and cuffing season is in full swing. If you’ve suddenly found yourself booed up and know not of this cuffing season I speak of let us look to the urban dictionary which defines cuffing season as such :

the season in which everyone is getting coupled up usually around when the weather is beginning to change and it is getting cold outside.

Often women get the short end of cuffing season. Autumn ushers in a new season of boo loving, by Christmas you’re pretty hot and heavy but it’s still new so families and gifts aren’t really a priority and before you know it, it’s spring and you’re left high and dry.

I’ve put together a quick list of rules to help you enjoy cuffing season, if you so choose, without getting burned or scorned in the process by thinking you’ve hit the jackpot with Mr. Cuffington when in reality you’ve just found a place warmer for the colder months.

Cuff – Don’t get cuffed

Would you rather be the hunter or the hunted? The hunter lives another day to tell an exaggerated story while the prey is mounted on a wall for everyone to see. If you’re not doing the cuffing, you’re getting cuffed which means you’re not in control. When you lack control, you lack a stake in the outcome of the situation. You’re feeling him, allowing yourself to get attached, while he’s thinking about a Spring Break from you to travel to the Dominican Republic to get a jump start on the summer.

Two nights max

Limit yourself to two nights a week. I don’t care how hard up you are for some loving, anything over two nights is boo loving status. I know you want late nights and early mornings but not with him. He’s just temporary. No need to act wifed up when you’re both just finding ways to pass the fall/winter months.

Hang with your friends and your friends only

Don’t get caught in the friend trap. It will only end in heartache and screwed up boundaries. Once you start hanging out with your new boo and his friends something in your mind starts seeing this as more than just an extended f**k buddy. Come back to reality, he’s just a f**k buddy and keeping friends separate helps you keep the two worlds that will eventually disconnect completely separate.

No unprotected sex

You’re damn right it feels better but it also comes with a minimum 18yr bid and genes you might not be ready to share. Invest in those sensitive touch condoms or even the ribbed ones, those feel good too. Not to mention all the STD’s floating around. Just keep it safe and strap up. No risky games of Russian roulette during this cuffing season.


But maybe you want more than just some hard d**k and a piece of bubble gum. You’re looking for Mr. Right during this cuffing season. Ok, let’s discuss…

Choose carefully

It takes more than a handsome face and a career path to be “the one” right? Well act like it and don’t just fall for the first brother with light eyes and wavy hair. Take it slow. You need to really try and get to know this man before you make the same mistakes you made last year.

Don’t stall the booty but don’t give it away too fast either

Hey, some people get married after sex on the first date, but most don’t so be strategic. There’s no right timeline to have sex but forcing sex just because is never the move. Make sure you and your fella have good chemistry before you do the do. Don’t have the man wait 6 months just because or you might end up as some challenge he wants to knock off. Also, be careful of knocking boots in the bathroom of the random lounge you met him at (it happens.)

Scout places other than the club

You can do the church scene and find you a BMW (black man worshipping), beware of the gay fellas there though. A great place to meet eligible bachelors who aren’t just trying to “beat” are community centered events. Events at your local library, something held by Big Brothers & Sisters, you get my drift. There are often different types of men who hang around at those types of events that are a little more grounded and interested in finding a good woman.

Cook up something like your grandma

Aside from being your gorgeous, ambitious, loving self, can you please find your cooking self? It’s cold and a brother ain’t trying to be trucking it in the cold all the time to eat out. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It’s more than just an old adage, this really works.

Did we miss any rules to cuffing season, what would you add to the list?

Email nativenotes at or follow him on Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr and check out some his writings over at Notes of This Native Son

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