Could You Date THIS Man?

October 21, 2011  |  
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When you first start dating someone, isn’t it interesting how perfect they seem? That’s probably because they are working hard to make a good impression. Let a few months go by, and we all know that who you’re really dating is going to shine through. All the bad habits, the emotional side, the jealousy issues, can rear their ugly head. And what’s the saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them? Do it. And while there are certain things you can move past that may come to light, there are some other humps that you might not be able to get over. So here are a few scenarios that I’ve seen and heard have happened to people that I thought I’d pose as questions to you. If you’ve been dating a guy for just a few months, could you continue to date them if they did the following…?

The Man That Wears Women’s Lingerie

You would be surprised to know the number of women who say that they could get past the idea of a man wearing women’s lingerie. Specifically if that man in those Victoria Secret Cheeky panties is someone they’ve been dating for a little while. Some women believe that just because a man throws on lady’s underwear from time to time doesn’t necessarily make them gay, and as long as they don’t have to see it like that, it’s really not that big of an issue. But you should definitely ask questions. A lot of questions. Personally, I don’t think it’s something I could rock with, but what about you?

A Dirty Man

He fooled you by taking a few showers from time to time when you guys were going out on your first dates. Now that you’ve become a bit more comfortable with him, not only do you find that his apartment is covered in crap, but that he likes to look and smell like crap too. Fingernails filled with gunk, hair (and collar) covered in dandruff, smelling like expired milk and a porter-potty type crap. A co-worker of mine said that she would probably try and “help” them to be more clean (aka, train them), but we all know how hard it is to try and change folks stuck in their ways. I could probably deal with it…I think…but would you try? Or would you bail?

The Man That Has Been in Jail

If this comes out within the first month of dating a guy you’re feeling, what’s your move? This is a difficult one, because there is so much that comes along with a guy that has been in jail: it affects the kind of jobs he can get, and you never know what type of things he went through or was exposed to while behind bars. But at the same time, people do change, and deserve a chance in all aspects. I’ve noticed that a lot of our readers will only consider dating a man that has been in prison if he was only convicted of smaller crimes. So what crimes are “small” enough to overlook, and which ones are a little too much to let go of?

A Man That Has Engaged in Homosexual Activities–In the Past…

I do believe it was the last season of Real World I was watching (the most reason season in Vegas), where two of the house roommates clicked immediately and started dating. Granted, cast mates only stay in the Real World house for a few months, so while these two individuals were enthralled with one another quickly, they really didn’t know too much about each other’s past. Come to find out, and this was exposed by the young woman’s mother of all people, that the young man had a history of doing soft-core Adult Videos. With men. And by soft-core, I mean he lived in a house with men, was recorded for the Internet walking around naked, taking showers, and receiving fellatio from the guys he lived with (not THAT kind of sex, though). While he said he wasn’t gay, people in the house definitely looked at the fella differently, and he and his house boo broke up…only to get back together before the season ended. She got over it. Could you?

The Man With On the Low Drug Problems

We once had a reader on Facebook ask for help on whether or not she should stay with someone who has issues with drugs. I always feel bad saying this, but if we were only dating for a few months, I don’t think I could do it. I always think of the temporary boo-thang of Robin in “Waiting to Exhale,” who was taking her to parties with other people who had a thing for drugs and got down with cocaine. People struggling with drug abuse need as much support from friends and family as they can get to receive the help they need, but I think that unless you are really invested in your new relationship, you might just need to be a supportive friend. What do you think?

The Mama’s Boy

A supportive mother is always cool. However, there is a difference between a man’s mother having his back, and a man’s mother having his back, front, side, top, bottom and in between. Overly-involved mothers in a relationship are bad enough, but when a man does nothing to intervene or to ensure that his mother has at least a tad bit of respect for you, then you’re probably going to have issues. Not saying that a mama’s boy isn’t or can’t be a great lover, but when mom is attached at the hip, it could be a struggle. You down?

The Man That Watches Too Much Adult Videos

So men like to watch Adult Videos. That’s cool, because a lot of women watch a naughty movie from time to time too. But would you be cool with the guy that stays watching pornography like it’s going out of style soon? He knows all of the actors and actresses names and when you’re asleep, he finds his way to the computer. He may have only been watching occasionally when you first started dating, but a few months in, and now he’s an amateur Adult Videos critic. Would you dip out, or set him straight and make it work?

The Guy Who Has a History With a Friend of Yours

This question, which was posted on Facebook yesterday, was the inspiration behind this story. You’re really into a guy that you’ve been dating for a few months and it comes out that he used to sleep around with one of your friends. They were nothing serious, just “flinging” around, and now he’s your man. A lot of women immediately shut the idea down, but there were also a large number who felt that a lot of women need to get over themselves. One woman even said that a man shouldn’t be looked at crazy for who we messed with prior to meeting you just because you’re dating him now. But how do you feel about it? A no-no? Or would you be open-minded about it?

How would you deal with these scenarios? Have you found yourself in these situations before?

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