What Matters to Men? The First Things He Notices About You…

December 3, 2011  |  
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According to Dr. Paul Dobransky, a psychologist, relationship expert and author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love, “In the first five minutes of meeting someone, it’s generally physical beauty that attracts men. That’s actually the very first step of courtship for them.” As he explains, this doesn’t mean all guys are after supermodel-type good looks. Instead, he’s referring to the fact that every man has his own individual taste in women, physically. The bottom line is, in those crucial first moments, “It’s not about personality, intellect, career or any other crucial things that make up a relationship. At first, its just sex appeal,” he says.  So what, specifically, does he value as important about your initial appearance?

Check out these 8 traits men admit to noticing first, and what each one says about you…

1. First Off, Men Admire

Contrary to popular belief, women are more visual than men. They are conditioned to see what they want to see, without staring or being obvious. Men admire; women inspect. A woman may decide she is interested in a man before she has caught his eye or gotten his attention.  Men notice contours and curves while women notice form and structure.  So although both men and women check out the opposite sex, men tend to do so in a much less discreetly sort of way.

2. Confidence

Eye contact is a huge indication of confidence in a woman.  The way she carries herself and her overall posture can also tell a guy, “Here I am and I feel great!” or it can say,” Oh please don’t look at me… let me hide over here.”  If a woman walks in, head held high and a big smile on her face, men will automatically be more attracted to her.  Don’t look down and shy away from purposeful eye contact from a man across the bar.  If eye contact is made, most men will then make the move to approach the woman in hopes of a connection.

3. Your Smile

A smile can also say a lot about a woman.  Does it seem sweet and genuine? Does it seem awkward and forced? Also, some men are just more drawn to certain smiles and facial expressions.  If a woman is laughing hysterically and seems to be the jokester of the group, certain men are automatically drawn to her.  However, some men go for the sweet and innocent smile that might be a little more sky and subdued.

4. Your Crew

Believe it or not, men are very intimidated by large groups of women.  If you walk in with a posy of 20 women, most men will be wary to walk up to you and use his best line.  Everybody is afraid of rejection, men included.  So what’s the perfect crew size? Three. Your two friends can keep each other company when you slip away to get to know your mystery man.

5. Your Hair

Guys have no idea what split ends are, and if you mention roots, they just think of the band. But they do look to see if your hair looks soft and as though it would smell good. Hair styles also project a level or style a women possesses and giver her freedom to express herself.  Men are intrigued and drawn to stylish and well put-together women.  These qualities signify that she is clean, responsible, and takes time to groom.  In fact, 44% of men surveyed said that hair is the first thing they notice about a woman, more than her clothes (26%), legs (25%), or makeup (4%), and most men surveyed would be more likely to approach a woman at a bar with great hair than a woman wearing a low-cut shirt.  Interesting, huh?

6. Your Makeup

If you’re wearing so much makeup that it looks like you’ve painted an entirely new face on top of your actual face, guys will wonder if you’re trying to cover up some bizarre deformation and/or you are deathly self conscience.  No man wants to come away from a hug with a freshly painted shirt from your foundation.  Most men actually prefer women in less make-up and might be scared by the clown look.  Try to keep your face as natural as possible, highlighting your favorite features, and show the world that you are proud of who you are and the body you were given.

7. Your Cleavage and Rear End

Newsflash, cleavage and rear ends are the first things that men notice about a woman. Now, that’s not to say they think all women should unbutton their shirts to their bellybutton or wear spandex everywhere.  Depending on how badly you wish to capture a guy, show or cover those curves. An important thing here is that men do not appreciate women who put it all on display. “Show some and hide some” is how men like it. They want their women to be alluring and Hot without looking cheap and vulgar.  Besides, the men who want vulgar and flashy women are most likely not relationship material anyway.

8. Your Bag

No, men don’t care if your Gucci is real or fake, but they will notice how you wear it.  Women who hold their purse with pride might come off as more materialistic to men.  Most men are not a fan of a high-maintenance woman and will notice if her bag is bigger than his gym bag, and take that as a sign of her dependence and value of material things. Not all men will notice your bag, but the ones that do will help you determine if a guy who cares about your purse, is really the one for you.

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