Long Distance Love? Tips On Making It Work From Miles Away

November 26, 2011  |  
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All relationships take work, but long distance relationships take a bit more effort in the way of communication, compromise, and understanding. Statistics show that an estimated 2.9% of US marriages were considered long distance, with 1 in 10 marriages reported to have included a period of long distance within the first 3 years.  If you are currently in a long-distance relationship first, bravo, and second, take a look at these suggestions to help keep the spark alive, over hundreds of miles!

1. Trust

Trusting a person in a long distance relationship can be difficult.  This is why trust is key.  By accepting the challenge of a long distance relationship, you also accepted the fact that you will have to have the trust and faith that your partner will not be seeing anyone else as promised.  This comes from constant communication and when you do visit each other, make a point to meet the friends he’s talked about, or go to the places he’s told you about.  This way you will feel more incorporated into his world.

2. Be positive

Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming and your partner content. Being away from your man is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be more creative, to communicate better since you don’t have “face-to-face” time and to test and express your feelings. As long as you see the long-distance relationship as a temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling of security and happiness to your partner too.

 

3. Face time

Skype and sending images via BlackBerry or iPhone are the perfect way to share moments with your man. You can send him a cute picture of whatever you’re doing, of funny web videos, or of little things that remind you of him. Sending images and taking the time to Skype gives some face-to-face time and will make you feel less distant. Voice notes and texts messages are also perfect during busy days. They are easy to send, and a quick reminder to your other half that you’re thinking about them. We all want to feel wanted, loved and missed, so no matter how busy the day gets, a simple “I’m thinking about you, miss you,” will do the trick.

4. Snail mail

Who doesn’t like getting gifts and being spoiled? Even more exciting is when it comes as a surprise. Relationships are all about being part of a couple, so your efforts will not go unnoticed if you take time out of your day to send a card or box up some of your man’s favorites. Sending each other loving gifts will help fill the void that you feel in your daily routine, knowing that your man spent so much time thinking about you and planning for you will definitely help keep the spark alive.

5. Avoid jealousy

One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don’t fall in the trap of interrogating your man every time he decides to go out for a drink with people you haven’t met or he didn’t get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn’t mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activities and be happy with yourselves.  Voice your concerns, if you have any, as soon as you feel them.  Don’t let your emotions boil over and make a mountain out of a molehill.

 

6. Visit

Make an effort to visit one another as often as possible, not only when it is expected, such as for the holidays. Make sure that it isn’t always the same person who is going out of their way for the other, because this will inevitably lead to some serious resentment.  If you don’t put in the time and effort to see one another, then you will eventually drift apart, no matter how strong your love is. After all, you need some physical contact to keep a relationship going. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. The key here is to plan visits way ahead together and mark them in your calendars immediately.  This way you will plan other appointments and commitments around your man and will always have a fun visit to look forward to!

 

7. Realize how lucky you are

Long distance romances can work; they just need a little extra effort and some planning. What many people don’t realize is there are many benefits to being in a long distance romance. When you understand how fortunate you are to have someone at the other end, willing to go the distance for you, you’re negative attitude will surely disappear.  Many men and women are looking for a partner but have yet to find their match.  If you’ve found your match appreciate him and try to grasp how lucky you truly are.

8. Plan, plan, and plan some more

Create an ongoing, frequently updated list of the things you want to do together the next time you see each other.  When you are the host, show your man around your town or take him to a local venue that you’ve been dying to try out.  And visa-versa when you visit him, you’ll get a good sense of his daily life if he shows you around and experiences new things in his town with you.  Being a part of his daily activities will help bridge the distance between the two of you and make you feel like a part of his life.  This way between visits, you will have time to set up some fun adventures, and keep your mind busy planning, instead of missing him!

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