Have you ever dated a man where everything is going perfectly and you are bonding on every level, spending all your time together, and even making plans for the future, and then poof, he’s gone?! Well believe it or not, this is a more common scenario that you might think. Men feel pressure just like women do, and when it comes to relationships many men take flight, before they fight. Take a look at these 8 reasons why he might be pulling away from you — to perhaps see if you can stop it.
1. You’re a stage-5 clinger
Healthy space is good for a relationship. Don’t be the girl who is overwhelmingly attached and goes MIA every time she enters a relationship. If you have more free time on your hands than he does and have nothing else to do other than constantly be at his beck and call, you may be smothering him. And we all know what happens when you smother a fire… it goes out!
2. He lacks relationship “skills”
Let’s be honest. Having a healthy relationship is an acquired skill. You learn as you go, from past experiences and mistakes. Perhaps he has never been in a serious relationship nor understands the effort and attention to detail a successful relationship takes. Or maybe he does, and doesn’t want to put in the effort. Whatever the reason, if you find your man pulling away and not able to explain his whereabouts, maybe you are more than he bargained for. Chances are he is inexperienced and scared to make the wrong move, so decides to take flight. Just as they say, it’s “Fight vs. Flight.” Don’t you want a fighter anyways?
3. The sexual attraction is fading
The most common initial attraction between two people is sexual. Just like the original iPhone, it’s special and exciting at first… but a month or two goes by and you find yourself already wanting the newer model. At the beginning of a relationship our brain produces dopamine which has effects much like an opiate (i.e. heroin). You feel alive and “high,” in absolute bliss. Your man feels this too, which makes your mutual attraction so strong. However, after about 4-6 months, dopamine stops being released in both of your brains and suddenly the closeness and attraction may not be as instant. If this is where it fades, then maybe it was your brains doing all the work, and now its up to you two to keep the fire alive through work. See point number 2.
4. There’s another female
If your man is seeing someone behind your back, this is usually characterized by inattention, not calling you back, being unaccounted for, and employing excuses that fifth graders use. If you experience consistent tactical maneuvers such as these, he’s looking for a way out. Yes, men have feelings and emotions, but they not as hard to read as women’s. If you see your man twice a week, when before it was everyday, chances are something is taking your place on the other days. If you don’t have a clear answer from him… it’s probably a woman.
5. He is focusing on work
Work is demanding. So is a relationship. It could be that his mind is so focused on his job and making a steady income, that he loses sight of your relationship. Men feel a need to provide, which is a noble quality, but some get lost in the hustle and start spending more time at work, and less time with you. That’s not necessarily bad, if you can handle it.
6. You are becoming boring
Find yourself on the couch, complaining and being the opposite of fun? Then chances are he’s getting tired of you. It could be you are too comfortable or there’s too many other things going on in your life –- but the truth of the matter is a healthy relationship is an active relationship. Pick up some interests, train for a local run, or find a hobby that really intrigues you. Chances are you man will commend you for your new activity and appreciate your new focus.
7. He feels inadequate
Financial responsibility, providing for a family, and doing all the things that men are required to supply in a relationship can be daunting. Once the pressure becomes too much, some men begin to pull away.
8. He’s not ready to marry — but it’s obvious you are
If he’s feeling pressure from you, your family, and your friends to pop the question, he might instinctively pull away if that idea is not on his radar. Some men don’t prioritize marriage like women do. If it’s not in his future, but has it blaring in his face as a “must,” he might take the easy road and take a hike.
9. It’s just not “right”
He’s getting to know you more and more, but for some reason he sees you as less a part of his future. But, why? Is it the classic “I’m not good enough for her”? Maybe. It could also be his habits, family, or general direction in life. But whatever the cause, deep down, the confidence and soul mate feeling is not there. Typically his mind will be made up, which is why he is slowly distancing himself from you. It could even be a gut feeling he has, or a specific quality that he can’t find in you. Whatever it is, take it as a sign that you two are not meant to be together and you don’t need to sell yourself to anyone. Be who you are and be confident in that. The right guy will love you for who you are.