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I’m calling a double standard foul on author Niki McElroy. The author of A Black Girl’s Guide to Dating White Men recently appeared on in a video show, and when one of the hosts of the show asked whether black women dating white men could be considered searching for a trophy husband the way that black men treat white women as their trophy wives, McElroy flipped the script. She responded that for black women, dating white men is simply “looking for your significant other without looking at color. We shouldn’t be basing it [dating] off color. If you have common goals in life, why not find someone who fits you and is on your same wavelength?”

If we’re not basing dating off of color, then why write an entire book to serve as a guide to do just that? If women are going to be upset with black men for choosing to only date white women who “fit them,” we can’t turn around and do the same thing and call it something else.

Even more bothersome than McElroy’s denial,  is the fact that the way she’s presented her information does in fact suggest a trophy husband phenomenon. White men are made to seem subtlety “better.” This is derogatory towards black women, when McElroy claims to be a positive guide. For example:

Another of the show’s host mentions she likes the book because of its helpful topics, like how to order wine because “that does make you look so much more classy.” McElroy agrees and says, “It’s not just about looking classy, it’s about being knowledgeable. Most of us didn’t know about Moscato until a rapper just came out with a song.” Speak for yourself.

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