Ways To Commit Without Getting Married

September 19, 2017  |  
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There are plenty of reasons couples aren’t doing some of the traditional things like getting married and having kids today. But none of those reasons have anything to do with not loving one another. In fact, many couples feel frustrated by the fact that if they don’t go through the traditional (and exhausting and expensive and stressful) process of having a wedding, that people feel their relationship isn’t valid. And even those who couldn’t care less what outsiders think still wish they had a way to show their significant other how much they mean to them, without getting married. People have the capacity to commit, even if they don’t feel like hiring a wedding photographer and buying a diamond. Here are ways to commit to your partner without getting married.

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Just throw a party for your love

Who says you need to become legally married in order to get all of your friends and family in one place to celebrate your love? For many married individuals, the whole point of their wedding day was to have a party that was all about how much they loved each other and sharing that joy with the people who mean the most to them. If people buy plane tickets and book hotels to be at your love party, you’ll feel pretty darn committed.


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Write vows

Having some religious figure or civil employee condone your vows doesn’t mean you’re any more likely to follow them. People who are married break their vows all the time. But to take this positively, the important part about vows is that you make them to each other, face to face. Vows are a promise you make to one another. In order to write vows, you need to spend a long time thinking about what this union means to you. Vows can be very powerful, with or without a wedding.




Buy neighboring grave plots

That’s certainly a major commitment. Talk about promising to spend this life and the next together. You’ll feel pretty committed to one another when you know you’ll spend eternity next to each other. Wedding rings are just teeny, tiny bands. But grave plots are large and prominent.

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Meditate on your love

Go on a trip and make the purpose of that trip to meditate on your love. Meditation is very powerful. Meditation can help you manifest things like the power to keep your bond alive, the wisdom to recognize how to stay connected to your partner and much more. Meditation can arm your mind with the tools you’ll need to keep your relationship a priority in your life. Honestly, there are quite a few married couples who could desperately use some meditation on their relationship.


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Get tattoos

Tattoos are forever. You can always take off your wedding ring. But you cannot take off the tattoo on your arm that states that your beloved is yours and you are his. Even when you feel like breaking up, you may rethink it, due to the fees and pain associated with having a tattoo removed. Divorce is emotionally painful; tattoo removal is physically painful.





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Get a home

When you own a home together, you’re forced, every day, to work on all of the tools necessary to make a relationship work. You need to talk about your overall goals as a couple because you need to talk about your finances (a house requires plenty of those). You need to work on communication. You need to have an understanding of the décor you want and how that pertains to your needs as parents, professionals and spiritual beings.



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Get a pet

Loving a living being, together, will make you very close. Considering that having children is the next step couples make to tighten their bond after marriage, getting an animal together can easily be a bonding decision, too. You’ll work with one another on taking care of the animal, sharing responsibilities, and sharing the emotional ups and downs of having a living thing you love so much.





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Make him the executive of your will

If that doesn’t commit you, I don’t know what does. Make your boyfriend or girlfriend the executive of your will and that person will be responsible for many important things in your life, including how to handle medical decisions for you if you’re in a coma, or how to divide up your assets should something happen to you. It’s a way of saying, “I trust you with representing me correctly when I cannot represent myself.”

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Change your name anyways

You don’t need to get married to change your last name to take his or visa versa. There is something really nice about seeing the same last name, side by side, on the letters you receive as a couple. It really makes you feel like a family, and it makes outsiders treat you as the family you know you are.

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Have a child

You don’t need to get married to have kids. And if anyone tries to tell you that getting married first encourages parents to stay together, just point them to the divorce rates in this country. Actually, just have them ask how many of their friends have divorced parents. Being married does not ensure you’ll be good parents or that you’ll stay together. But having children can, however, certainly, strengthen your bond if that bond is already tight.




Join bank accounts

You put a lot of trust in somebody when you join bank accounts. This person can affect your credit. This person could just run off with your money! Either way, you set up a dynamic in which you need to have more conversations about your life choices, and that can make you closer.


Take faux wedding photos

Hire a wedding photographer, get outfits you love, and go take some absolutely gorgeous photos. Print them out and frame them. Send them on postcards to friends and family. It feels nice to send little evidence of your love out into the world like that.







Become a staple in each other’s family

Get closer to your partner’s family and help him get closer to yours. When you’re a big part of your partner’s family, he feels that you’re his family. When he’s a big part of your family, you feel that he is your family. Marriage, after all, is just the joining of families. But you can join your families without getting married.






Write out your life plan together

Sit down and write out your life plan. This can involve businesses you’d like to start, places you’d like to live, how many kids you’d like to have, nonprofits you’d like to launch or volunteer work you’d like to do. This is a partnership, after all, so sit down and discuss how you can divide up the work and each do your part to help you, as a couple, fulfill that life plan.





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Have a conversation about it

Sometimes, just having a conversation about how much you mean to one another can take your commitment to another level. You may want to sit down and talk about why you don’t want to get married, or at least why you don’t want to get married now, but how you’re not going anywhere. You can express to one another how valuable this relationship is to each of you and what you’d be willing to do to keep it alive.

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