What It’s Like Being The Fittest Friend

September 18, 2017  |  
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Some people may not want to read about the plight of the fit individual. In fact, some people believe that fit people have no problems in the world—that somehow toned arms means you don’t have some judgmental family members, money issues, and offensive messages from Internet trolls. But to think that is to be close-minded. In fact, being the one fit person in your social group or family can be isolating. If you’re in shape and your close friends and family are not, you cannot relate to them on certain things (like swapping war stories about binge eating and laughing about the guy at the cheese counter knowing their order by heart). Likewise, they don’t relate to your experiences. Food is a central part of socializing, and when you approach eating differently than your close circle does, sometimes, you can feel lonely. Here is what it’s like to be the fittest one in your friend group or family.


People always comment on your order

When you order healthy, your friends make comments like, “Well that’s why you look like you do and my order is why I look like I do” or “Now you’re making me feel bad about what I’m ordering” or “Your entire order would just be an appetizer for me.” You never intended on making anyone feel self-conscious about their order, but boy did they make you self-conscious about yours.




Some friends don’t like to shop with you

You’ve noticed that sometimes you’re left out of clothes shopping trips or that, when you do go shopping with your friends, they won’t come out of the changing room to show you what they’re wearing. You feel like you’re missing out on the fun bonding that comes from shopping together.


People assume dating is easy for you

When your friends swap dating horror stories, they say things like, “Of course this kind of thing doesn’t happen to you because you’re hot.” You experience the full range of dating horror as your less-fit friends do. You’ve gone out with guys who behaved like they were too good for you, who were pervy, who were boring, or who were on Tinder, on their phones, right in front of you.


Friends think they can lift your shirt in public

When your friends get drunk (and sometimes when they’re sober) they’ll spontaneously reach over and lift up your shirt to show everyone your abs. You can only imagine how they would respond if you did that to them but apparently since you’re in shape, you don’t deserve personal space.




People assume you love your body

Your friends assume that you wake up every day thinking, “I’m perfect. I’m so hot. There is nothing wrong with me at all.” But that’s simply not true. To be self-critical is to be human. In fact, often, people who are in shape are more critical of themselves than those who aren’t—that’s why they got in shape in the first place.





They say that’s why people are nice to you

Anytime you mention a server bringing you a complimentary cocktail or someone giving up their seat at the bar for you, your friends say, “Well yeah because you have a hot body.” They can’t just let you believe it’s because humans can be kind and good sometimes.




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When you eat fatty foods, people comment

If you order a burger, my goodness does everybody have a lot to say about it. “Welcome to our side!”, “Somebody’s going nuts tonight” and “We knew you’d give in eventually” are just some of the things you may hear. Can you just order food without everyone commenting on it?


Pool/beach days are never without lots of discussions

You don’t love going to the beach with your friends because it comes with a 45-minute discussion about bodies. Usually, one friend kicks it off by saying she wishes she looked like you in a bathing suit, then the others chime in. Before you know it, you have to assure everybody that they look good in bathing suits too when you just wanted to read your magazine.



They say, “Of course you’re going to the gym”

Your friends always manage to make you feel guilty about going to the gym. If everyone is making plans and you say, “Can we do it at 7? I’ll be at the gym until 6:30” everyone says, “Oooh let’s all work around her workout schedule!” Meanwhile, nobody criticizes the friend who needs to push the plans back because she’s finishing a Netflix series.



You can feel left out of the non-gym crew

Your friends like to joke about how much they don’t exercise. They swap funny stories about how they’ll go out of their way to avoid physical activity. You don’t really have anything to contribute to these conversations.




You never ask to borrow clothes

You’d never dare to ask to borrow one of your friend’s clothes because this prompts another lengthy conversation about bodies and beauty standards. When your friends see that their top fits you a little more loosely than it fits them, they say something like, “Well, at least I have big boobs.” You did not want this to become a thing where you’re comparing bodies. You just forgot to pack a cute top to go out in.



People assume your life is rigid

People assume you’re uptight because you’re in shape. If you’re ever particular about anything—where you guys eat or what time you do something—they make some comment about how you didn’t get in shape by being laid back. Nobody ever seems to notice when the other friends are equally if not more picky about things.




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Sometimes you aren’t invited to the single’s bar

You’ve noticed that sometimes you’ve been left out of the night at the single bar, or the speed dating event, or the singles cruise…You wonder if your friends just didn’t want what they perceived as the “competition” and that makes you sad.





They’ve said it’s hard to be around you

You’ve overheard one friend venting to another that sometimes it’s hard for her to be around you, especially when you’re in bathing suits or shopping because you make them feel bad about themselves. That’s the last thing you ever wanted but you have no idea how to change it.





Sometimes you feel like they try to fatten you up

You’d swear sometimes they’re trying to fatten you up based on the fact that they shove appetizers onto your plate when you said you didn’t want any and get you gift cards to ice cream shops and donut shops.

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