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If you seem to be attracting the same ain’t-sh-t guys in your life, have you ever wondered maybe – just maybe – you, too, might have some aint-sh-t qualities that magnetically lures ’em your way?

We’re not saying you’re at fault for a faulty man, but there must be something within you that’s inviting a cycle of the same ol’ riffraff into your life. But what is it, exactly, that you need to change in order to attract a better caliber of man?

Well, that depends who you’re attracting to begin with. Sift through these common negative traits, find the one you spot most frequently, and figure out what’s going haywire within you that’s baiting these buffoons.

The Arrogant Man

Look at him – sprawling across his illusionary “throne” as if he’s the king of England. You couldn’t tell him that he’s not God’s gift to the planet. As far as the Arrogant Man is concerned, his birthday is a national holiday, he’s the most spectacular man in the room, and any girl who rejects him is out of her damn mind. After all, in his eyes, only a mentally unbalanced woman would pass up such a “catch” as himself.

Who Attracts This Man?

Women who say, “I’d be happier if I was more confident” and “I wish I believed in myself just a little bit more” usually attract these overconfident braggarts. These are the woman who feel as if their successes are impeded by their own deflated self-image and pessimism. So when the Arrogant Man struts around with his nose up in the air, oozing pure, unadulterated confidence, there’s something alluring about him.

She might not know it, but subconsciously she’s hoping that, in being around him, at least half of his egomaniacal conceit will rub off on her, too.

The Controlling Man

“What are you doing? Who are you going with? Where are you going? How many steps does it take for me to get there?!” Be careful! You might think his inquisitive, overbearing nature is a sign that he “cares” and that he “wants the best for you.” But in reality, it’s all about fulfilling his own twisted desire to subdue his partner and have the upper hand.

Who Attracts This Man?

Control masquerading as “tough love” attracts women who lacked guidance and discipline at some point in their lives. If they felt that they were not given proper instruction or direction from authoritative figures in the past, there’s a part of them that melts and swoons at a man who doesn’t even let them breathe without asking for permission.

The Smooth Talkin’ Man

He always knows the right thing to say. “Wow, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I love the way your nose wrinkles. I love the soothing resonance of your voice. I could listen to you talk for the rest of my life.”

But the problem is that his questionable actions never, ever match his melodious words.

Who Attracts This Man?

Naiveté and gullibility are often found in women who fall for this poppycock. Lest we forget that many people do lie, manipulate, and deceive – they will say whatever they can to get what they want. Experienced people already know this as they’ve suffered through a few too many lessons before they realized, “Damn – actions really do speak louder than words.”

But among those who only see the best in people and believe that this smooth-talkin’ charmer couldn’t possibly be lying through his teeth, well, they’ll know the truth soon enough.

The Materialistic Man

They wouldn’t be caught dead in an outfit that doesn’t have a well-known name brand splashed across it. They’re walking billboards for fashion houses and they don’t even realize it – all they care about is attributing their self-worth to pricey sneakers, expensive a** backpacks, and high-priced accessories.

Who Attracts This Man?

Women who are “climbers” –  socially or financially – typically sniff out materialistic men. Deep down, they’re seeking to rub elbows with “high-status” men, saviors of sorts, who can help to enhance their lifestyle. The sad part is that they misinterpret these materialistic men as being rich, when in reality, they’re just broke men who don’t know how to live within their means. As they say, rich is loud and wealth is silent.

The Attention-Seeking Man

“Look at me! Look at me!” The attention-seeking man seems to be saying just that with everything he does. From the bombastic stories he tells at dinner parties to the annoying stunts that he pulls in front of his friends, he’s quite the performer whenever there’s a crowd. Most of us want him to just shut the heck up for once, but there are some women who can’t get enough of these show-offs.

Who Attracts This Man?

While there are some wallflowers who relish in being alone, there are other unassuming women who envy people who can entertain a crowd and not get frazzled at the thought of many eyes peering their way. So naturally, they have a tendency to gravitate towards these “Look at me!” men at the center of the room. By standing beside him, they, too, get the attention they so secretly crave.

The Work-In-Progress Man

This is the man we’re all talkin’ about when we say, “He doesn’t have his sh** together.” He’s been in and out of jail a few too many times or he’s 35-years-old and still doesn’t have his career path figured out.

Who Attracts This Man?

Ever met someone who you just swear loves to wallow in chaos? They love to gab about all the drama in their life – their voice sounds distressed, but their eyes seem filled with glee. These are the type of women who attract the Work-In-Progress Man – subconsciously, they seek volatility. Maybe because they grew accustomed to instability in their lives or perhaps they secretly enjoy the labyrinth-like process of working through someone else’s problems – who knows?

The Unavailable Man

This is the man who’s out of reach. For example, he lives thousands of miles away in some remote village in God knows where or, even worse, he’s committed to another woman. Either way, the Unavailable Man is always in some awkward circumstance in which he cannot fully sink his feet to the ground and crystallize the relationship.

Who Attracts This Man?

These women cringe at the idea of a “full-time” relationship. The Unavailable Man attracts women who want the perks of companionship on a part-time basis, which comes with the advantage of putting in half-assed effort. As Mr. Unavailable isn’t always around, there’s some downtime for a woman to kick her feet up and enjoy her alone time. Women who gravitate towards The Unavailable Man are also inclined to low-key seek “limbo situationships” – things never progress or get too “serious” and they enjoy the affair while it lasts.

The Elusive Man

We call him “The Elusive Man,” but let’s the real – he’s just the guy who purposely texts back six hours later just to be an a**hole.

Who Attracts This Man?

The type of woman who is intrigued by The Elusive Man tend to bask in suspense  – they have a love/hate relationship with anticipation. They love cliffhangers – a beautiful melange of tension and expectancy, but they hate having to be patient. While others would lose interest and move on, women who fall for The Elusive Man are overwhelmed with curiosity – “What will he say? What will he do?”  But as they wait with bated breath for hours – or even days – when he finally replies, all he says is “K.”

The Tit-for-Tat Man

Didn’t reply to his text for four hours for a legitimate reason? Well, the Tit-for-Tat Man does not care – he will make sure that you, too, wait four hours – maybe even more – for his reply. Ate his cheesecake in the fridge? Well, he’s coming for your Chipotle the next time you bring some home – and he don’t even like burritos like that. Mr. Tit-for-Tat is your quintessential petty fool.

Who Attracts This Man?

The only type of women who could stomach Tit-for-Tat men are the ones who are forgiving, more mature, and tend to let things roll off their shoulders. They won’t retaliate for insignificant things. Because, Lord, if there are two petty people coupling up together, nothing will get done – nobody will be the bigger person and there’ll just be two fools refusing to take the first step because they both don’t want to “lose.”

The “Chatty Patty” Man

He’s the guy who’s always judging others, whether it be their fashion choices, lifestyle, whatever. He’s always whispering out of the side of his mouth – murmuring about who did what with whom. He’s always got his cup out for some tea so he can sip and share it with his social circle.

Who Attracts This Man?

If you tend to attract Chatty Patties, it’s possible that you crave hearing juicy stories that make you say, “Trouble in paradise, I see!” Your eyes widen at the misfortune of others. You light up when you hear about things not going so great for someone who puts on airs as if everything is peachy. You and Chatty Patty very much deserve each other – you’re his perfect audience. Enjoy your little tea parties.

Kimberly Gedeon, founder of The Melody of Melanin, is a content creator and illustrator with nearly 2,000 professional articles published online. You can say hello to her on Instagram or Twitter – she doesn’t bite!

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