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Feeling some type of way…

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I might catch a little heat for writing this, but I can defend it. So if the backlash comes, I’ll be ready to speak on it. This past weekend, my sister and her former classmates celebrated their 10 year high school reunion. My sister’s best friend and our neighbor throughout childhood said they were going to be on their “Romy and Michele. Their class officers planned an adult prom that appeared to be lit based on the Instagram photos and Snaps. And it wasn’t long before people in my class, the one just a year older than my sister’s, starting complaining.  Not really complaining but questioning why the class following ours had so much more school spirit and unity. In the discussion, one of my former classmates asked why some of us did not attend our reunion. The following pages were some of the answers given, coupled with my own thoughts.

Portrait of african woman standing arms crossed

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High School wasn’t all that great for you

A lot of stereotypical high school movies depict the time as hellish for a lot of young people. In addition to the task of trying to find yourself, folks were taunted by their peers for not living up to some sort of ridiculous standard. And while some people take the sentiment that “high school sucked” as some type of cliche, for many, including some of my real life classmates, it wasn’t a time when they felt embraced or welcomed. And as adults, it’s not an experience they want to be reminded of ten years later.

Millennial friends have coffee and enjoy laughing together

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You keep in touch with the people you want to see

Hopefully, we’re not the same people we were as teenagers. And while we’ve changed and evolved, the people we were once close to don’t necessarily fit in our lives anymore. The people who still click and mesh after a decade are the ones you make an effort to see. For some people, going out of their way to reunite with people they were never close to, to begin with, seems odd and insincere.

Girl holding a tablet

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Social media keeps you as informed as you want to be.

During our parent’s generation, high school reunions were one of the few ways you kept in touch with people once they graduated and went our separate ways. That and the gossip grapevine. But today, with Instagram, Facebook and Twitter we likely know more about our classmates now than we ever did when we were moving about in the same school.

Climate Activists Attempt To Disrupt Heathrow Flights With Drones

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You live out of state

Child, you would have to have loved quite a few of your classmates if you were going to drop some dough on a plane ticket to come back home.

Pensive woman sitting by herself in a restaurant at lunch break

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No one you want to see will be in attendance

For me, there was a handful of people who I would have been interested in catching up with: the people on my newspaper staff and the women from my volleyball teams over the years. I didn’t really connect with many other people in any type of significant way that would make me want to travel and pay money to attend a reunion.

Feeling some type of way…

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You don’t want to run into any exes

This one is self explanatory, no? While in most cases, we should have grown and matured past all the foolishness, some things you don’t necessarily need to confront.

Family with three kids at home

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It’s a little too kid friendly

I remember when the discussions about our reunion first began, people were suggesting that they weren’t going to attend or even take part in the planning of certain events because alcohol would be served. They argued that they had children now and didn’t want to expose their children to that environment. It makes sense and that’s certainly each individual’s prerogative, but I know the discussion rubbed me the wrong way. Why was it necessary to bring children to all high school reunion events? Some spaces should be for adults only and some open to children; but trying to force your children to make other people change their plans was strange to me.

Bored young african woman sitting home alone

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The events aren’t poppin’

I thought the fact that my sister’s class had an adult prom was incredible. I can just imagine how much more fun prom would be today, now that we’re not all caught up on the insignificant matters that consumed our thoughts in high school. Coming back to a reunion, especially if you have to travel, for a picnic and a meetup at a bar, is not enticing enough for a lot of people.

Smiling Woman Shrugging

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It’s just not that important

In high school we kind of all placed value on the same types of activities. Collectively, it was important for us to attend basketball games, go to school dances, the juggernaut being prom, walk the stage during graduation, be at so-and-so’s house party. But again, in ten years time, people change, sometimes drastically. And ultimately, I just think it’s unrealistic to expect even a majority of your classmates to place value in linking up with people no one has made an effort to keep in touch with, outside of social media, in an entire decade.

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