Men, if you like curvy women, if thicker women are your type, and if you appreciate a fuller-figure—that’s great! But men need to stop thinking that dating and loving thicker women entitles them to make assumptions about them, or gives them the right to decide what is a compliment and what isn’t. If a woman tells you something was an insult, then it was. A lot of men who date thicker women are shocked when they’re told they can’t say this or that about women with curves. They’ll say things like, “Hey, at least I don’t only date model-thin women like most guys!”—as if they deserve a damned award for it. Thick women don’t want or need your pity affection, gentlemen. Here are things men need to stop saying to and about thick women.
“Models should look more like you”
There is no one way models should look. It’s exactly that type of thinking that made anorexia so prevalent in the fashion world. More models should look like more real people, and real people are thin, thick, obese, average, curvy, athletic—you name it. Also, don’t assume every woman wishes she looked like a model.
“Finally a woman who can eat like a man”
First of all, how do you know this woman will eat like a man? Let her eat the way she wants to eat. This statement makes it sound like one of your favorite qualities about her is how much she eats. How about her personality? How about her mind? Second off, there is no one way men eat, or one way women eat.
“I love that you don’t care what society thinks”
In other words, society doesn’t like her? Is that what you’re saying? Maybe this woman wasn’t even thinking about society, one way or the other. But she is now that you said this.
“You’re not uptight like skinny women”
- A) Why are you dissing skinny women now? B) Don’t assume that a personality trait is tied to a body type. Your thick woman is probably uptight sometimes, laid back at other times and—you know—the full spectrum of human behavior! But when you say this sentence, you make a thick woman feel like she isn’t allowed to be uptight. Ever.
“It’s so sensual to watch you eat”
In other words, you have a fetish. And a fetish is different than a genuine adoration of one particular person. If you just love to watch a woman eat, you’d watch any woman eat. And no woman wants to be any woman to a man.
“Your face is gorgeous/so cute/stunning”
When men compliment thin women, they don’t pick out one feature. They just call them hot. Why can’t they just call a thick woman beautiful/hot/sexy/gorgeous? When you isolate one feature, it sounds like you’re saying the rest aren’t that great.
Hey, if a thick woman wants to diet, she can. The ironic thing about men who like thick women is they make such a point of saying, “I don’t only like thin women—I don’t need women to be one way.” But then, they often end up upset if a thicker woman loses weight. If you only like thick women then, yes, you do only like women one way.
“You carry your weight well”
Oh, my. How kind of you. Essentially you’re saying the weight is a problem, but the woman made it work. You’re also implying some thick women don’t carry their weight well. So can you really call yourself a man who loves thick women, sir? Or do you only love the ones with proportions similar to those found in adult films?
“You know how to dress for your body”
Maybe she isn’t trying to dress for her body. Maybe she just buys the things she loves and feels happy in. Maybe she even buys some of the very same things that thin women wear.
“I like a big girl”
Some men think they can walk right up to a thick woman and announce, “I like a big girl.” So what? That doesn’t entitle you to hit on a woman. Would you ever walk up to a thin woman and say, “I like a thin woman?” No way. No woman—regardless of her size—is sitting around just hoping a man approves of her look.
“I bet you’re a freak in bed”
Honestly now, do men think thick women don’t have just as much ability to slap a man as a thin woman? Because she does, so men need to watch it with the things they say.
“I, personally, appreciate a real woman”
And you also, apparently, have taken it upon yourself to create the definition of a real woman. You—a man who considers himself open-minded, non-judgmental and evolved—have decided that a man should decide what it means to be a real woman. Hah. Isn’t that something.
“Thick women are making a great statement”
Women’s bodies are not objects, research topics or statements. Please stop looking at thicker women and positioning them in the grand scheme of social and cultural norms. Very few women out there are trying to make a statement with the skin in which they live. They’re just living.
“I like all shapes and sizes”
Shapes? And exactly what shape is a thick woman? Is this that game toddlers play with plastic blocks to learn to differentiate between a circle and a triangle?
“Don’t worry; I don’t like skinny girls”
Oh, and that’s the only reason you aren’t checking out those women? Shouldn’t the reason be that you are currently on a date with another woman? Or are you saying that if attractive thick women walked by, you might check them out, and that should be okay?