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1 of 15 african american couple having serious financial problems. Husband trying to heer up his sad wife looking at laptop screen feeling stressed while managing family budget at kitchen table

If you date a lot, survive several relationships, and truly take the time to reflect on your lessons from all of that, you’ll learn a few things to be true about what you need in a partner. One of those is that he believes in you. No matter how confident you are, no matter how much you trust in your capabilities and no matter how much of a boss you may be, if your significant other—the person you hold the closest—doesn’t see all of that about you, it will pick away at you. When you love somebody, you hold their opinion of you in the highest esteem, which means any doubts they have about you will affect you more than the doubts of your family, friends or coworkers. If you respect yourself, you naturally won’t be with anyone who outwardly doubts you. But not all partners are obvious about it. Does your partner subtly belittle you?

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He always distracts you from your problems

When you come home clearly upset about or consumed with an issue at work, you want to talk to your partner about it. You hope that he’ll help you brainstorm solutions or simply help you see the silver lining. But instead, he usually tries to distract you entirely by initiating sex, suggesting you watch a movie, or bringing up some fun activity. It may seem helpful, but he actually completely disregarded what you’re going through.

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