Give Yourself This Pep Talk Before Breaking Up With A Guy

February 16, 2017  |  
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Breaking up with someone is the worst! That’s why so many people stay in relationships they don’t want to be in; they’d rather endure being with the wrong person than sludge through the breakup conversation. When you break up with someone, you worry that that person thinks you’re rejecting everything about them—it feels like you’re telling them that they are bad. But the truth is, breakups can be very good! They are just bad for you to execute. And sometimes we don’t stay with the wrong person to spare their feelings, but actually to spare our own—feelings like fear or being alone forever or fear of being too picky. At the end of the day, there is no right reason to stay with the wrong person. Give yourself this pep talk when you need to break up with a guy.

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Somebody else will love him

There is somebody out there who will truly appreciate this guy for everything he is and will do a better job at loving him. If you don’t break up with him, you’re keeping him from that person.



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Somebody else will love you

Did it ever occur to you that on the other side of this breakup could be your perfect somebody? You don’t get to experience that until you cut ties here.





His friends already know

It’s so obvious to his friends that you’re not that into him, and you’re considering ending it. There’s a good chance they’ve already dropped some hints to him, and he may not be as surprised as you think he will be.

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Your friends already know

Your friends absolutely know that you’re unhappy in this, and they’re kind of judging you for dragging this poor guy along for so long.





He can learn from this too

If you and this guy are wrong for each other, but he just hasn’t realized it yet, give him the gift of telling him. This breakup can be a chance for him to reflect on why he chooses the wrong women.



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He has a life to plan for

He probably wants to move in with somebody one day, get married some day, and have kids some day! At the very least, he needs to know who his plus one will be to his friend’s wedding in four months. Don’t let him falsely fantasize about all of that happening with you.

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You’ll be happier alone

You will actually feel happier being alone than being with the wrong person. Any time you realize you’re in the wrong relationship, it puts a tremendous amount of stress on you. You’ll only realize it once that stress is gone, and it will feel amazing.



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He’ll be happier alone

You know that incredible stress-relief we just talked about? You could gift that to your soon-to-be-ex also! He probably doesn’t realize that subconsciously, he’s not that happy in this relationship, either.



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His family is investing in you

Don’t let his family plan to make a seat for you at New Year’s dinner or fall in love with you for one more day; that’s not fair to them.






Your family is investing in him

Likewise, don’t make your family invest in a guy you don’t want to be with anymore! Your poor mother has been calling, asking how your guy’s work is going, wondering if she should send him a sweater she found…what a waste.



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You can’t put off sex for much longer

How do you plan on explaining why you two haven’t had sex for…two months? Four months? Half a year? Come on now.





This is affecting your career

Being in the wrong relationship inevitably affects your career. Thoughts about how to break up and when to break up consume your mind and you cannot focus at work.




If you don’t do this, you might cheat

If we’re being real here, staying in the wrong relationship for too long increases your chances of cheating. Eventually, you’re going to want to be with somebody else. You still have a chance, right now, to end things in the right way.



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If you don’t do this, you’ll start to be mean

When you’re stuck with somebody who is wrong for you, you start to be mean to them. Every one of their quirks and flaws drives you nuts. You pick fights around every corner because really, this entire relationship is a conflict.


new relationships don't last


Leaving may be a failure; staying would be a bigger failure

If you’re thinking, “Ugh. I don’t want another failed relationship on my hands” news flash: your relationship has already failed due to the fact that you’re miserable in it. Failure is inevitable at this point, so you may as well admit it and face it with dignity.

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