New Advice Column: Welcome The Luv Coach to Madame Noire
Dear Luv Coach,
I am in a 7 year relationship, engaged to get married. We have a lot of communication problems and my mother tends to get into our business. I found out from a text message he is already dating someone and he didn’t even tell me. He still comes over to our house, tells me he loves me, and that I need to give him time. He told me to meet and date other people in the mean time and if our relationship is meant to be, it will be. I am 40 years old and I don’t want to waste my time. I love him, but he does not make me feel that I am important to him. Should I move on? Am I wasting my time?
-Julie
Dear Julie,
Unfortunately your man has already moved on, and he keeps you on the back burner in case he wants something from you. The message he is sending is that you are not a priority to him, and by staying in your life, while cheating on you, he holds you in a state of suspension, unsure if you should stay and wait or move on. This forces your hand so that you have to do the toughest deed; ending a seven year relationship that you have put time, love and effort into. He is committing what we in the biz call ‘rock the boat’ cheating. You rock the boat so much that you leave the other person no choice but to jump ship first. This is an intentional tactic used by cheaters so they can tell the world that you broke up with them, and they don’t look like the bad guy.
This is no way to live your life, and his behavior is extremely disrespectful. It’s time to take charge of your situation and make the right decision for yourself. First, you need to end it with him. Let him know that you respect yourself, and you won’t allow someone who doesn’t know how to care for your heart, stay in your life. Next, I want you to focus on yourself. Being with someone who doesn’t value you or your love, has a tendency to shake your self confidence. Ask yourself, “What makes me great?” Turn to friends for support and ask them what makes you special. Take this time to eat healthy, exercise, and do the things that will help you start your journey towards healing. You are an incredible woman, and it’s you’re choice how you want to live your life. Don’t allow anyone to dictate your happiness. Be strong, and move on.
-Luv Coach Brody
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Of course, all names will be changed and secrets kept as I give out my advice. Please email me at editors@madamenoire.com with your questions marked “Luv Coach” in the subject, and I will answer you once a week. As The Luv Coach for Madame Noire, I’m here to answer any questions you have pertaining to men, women, love and relationships. Thank you!
Rebecca Brody is a certified life empowerment coach with an expertise in love and relationships. She currently has a private practice in New York city and works with clients across the USA. For more musing from The Luv Coach go to www.TheLuvCoach.com
