What Happened To These Couples Who Said “I Do” When They Meant “I Don’t”?
Serious question: Would you say “Yes” if you didn’t really mean it? Not every proposal happens with “Dangerously in Love” playing in the background. But what happens when you walk down the aisle despite the chill coming from your your cold feet?
Recently, the folks over at Reddit asked their married readers what took place when they decided to get married even though they had serious doubts about their relationship and wanted to ditch it. And not just any doubts, but “We should have broken up ages ago” or “I was going to say it’s over but wound up pregnant” doubts.
It sounds like a recipe for immediate disaster. But wait until you read these surprising stories. We were shocked at some of the outcomes. And after you read them, let us know: Is it ever a good idea to walk down the aisle if you’re having cold feet? Let us know how you feel about saying “I do” if a person is really feeling more like “I don’t.”
Pregnant On Wedding Night
“I’m definitely that guy, even thought of it leading up the wedding like WHAT AM I DOING? ALL BECAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE THE BALLS TO BREAK UP WITH HER?
Then Bam. Pregnant on wedding night.
Now we have 2 kids, super happily married, and realized the reasons I wanted to break up with her were all really stupid, which makes sense, because generally I’m pretty stupid. She’s the only person that can tolerate my personality full time.”
My Mother Wouldn’t Let Me Run
“Eight years ago, I put my engagement ring in an envelope with a note, packed my bag and went to my parents’ house. My mother told me she wouldn’t let her daughter be a coward who ended a relationship like that and to go back and face my problems. I went back home, put my ring back on and shredded the note.
Our divorce was finalized a year ago in April.”
Happily Ever After, After All
“I never really wanted to break up, but i didn’t think i knew what love was. She was my first girlfriend. We had fun. Maybe it should have ended when college ended, it felt like a natural ending. But she bawled that she loved me so much, we carried on, long distance.
Maybe i thought i’d never get anyone else? Maybe i loved her. I wasn’t sure. Things just sort of happened. We moved in together and life went on. She started talking about marriage. I was terrified but went along. She started talking about kids. I was terrified but went along.
That was over 10 years ago. Married, 2 gorgeous kids, totally in love. We take couples holidays, we fill the walls with printed selfies and funny pics. We don’t always have sex constantly. We don’t always buy each other gifts. We don’t stop telling each other that we saw a really hot girl/guy on the train today. Turns out love is just being happy around someone. Forgiving their faults. It won’t always be the same as that first 6 months, and it doesn’t have to be.
I’m totally in love. I think i was all along.”
An Accident Brought Us Together
“Knew a guy who drove a couple hours to break up with his girlfriend. As he was breaking up with her, she had a seizure and broke her arm. He decided to take care of her in the hospital because he felt so bad. They are now happily married with 2 kids.”
He Threatened To Kill Himself If I Left
“So I didn’t, and we got married.
Then he threatened to kill himself if I divorced him, so I left. Not because I wanted him to do it – and believe me, I desperately want to turn this into a great joke. But because it suddenly was clear to me that I was in for AN ENTIRE FU**ING LIFETIME OF BEING AFRAID.
So fu** that. I walked. And he’s still alive.”
He Waited To Call Things Off–20 Years Later
“My husband did this. But I didn’t find out until almost 20 years and two children later (when he told me we were getting a divorce and that he was deeply in love with a woman he met when I was pregnant with our oldest (who was, at that time, 16).
I love my kids and wouldn’t change that for the world, BUT if it were possible to do it again in some alternative timeline, I wish he’d have broken up with me.”
Got Over Being An A–hole
“Turns out things get better when you stop the cycle of being a**holes to each other for no reason. That was year 7-8ish, this is year 16.”
She Left… And Took The Dog
“Divorced. She packed up and left while I was visiting family out of state. Took the dog, all my belongings, emptied out my accounts, and pretty much disappeared. Found out a few months later she was having an affair. Oh well, better for it now.”
I’m Glad We Got Married
“He’s a wonderful husband and balances me out with his steadfast caring and happy equilibrium. I’m glad we got married.
I tried to break up with him a couple times because he sometimes gets on my very last nerve and because I thought it just didn’t feel “right.” He annoys me less now, or maybe we’ve both gotten better at dealing with it.
As far as not feeling ‘right,’ I still have fleeting moments where I feel that way, and it’s scary to think that I might have made a huge mistake for life. But they’re outweighed by the vast majority of moments of contentment, love, and happiness.”
She Cheated On Me
“I stayed with my ex-wife for 11 years until it all went to hell and she cheated on me, so I divorced her. It was like sleeping next to my sister the whole time, a disaster. All because I didn’t have enough of a backbone to break up with her.
What was worse was I tried to break up with her after we were dating for 2 months, and she basically guilt-tripped me into staying with her. I was a fool for letting her pull that over on me. 11 years of my life wasted. I was 32 when we divorced.
I am now happily married to a great woman and learned a lot about myself.”
We’re Better For Staying Together
“Turns out we grew into the people each other needed, and are the happiest couple you’ve ever met in your entire life. I love her with all my heart, and couldn’t imagine my life without her.”
I Thought He Wanted To Marry Me Because I Got Pregnant, But That Wasn’t The Case
“Thought he was only doing it because I was pregnant. Wanted to tell him I didn’t want to marry him and why but couldn’t find the words.
So there I was laying in bed during the bouts of insomnia pregnancy brings and I thought about the day I told him. Essentially I gave him the get out now card. No responsibility financially or other wise. He panicked when I gave him that option, he said ‘but I would lose you, I love you.’
It made me realise he wanted me and was not just doing the right thing. We are happily married, have our ups and downs but I love him so much.”
Divorced On Christmas Eve
“Best gift I ever gave or received.”
I Needed To Bail
“Our marriage lasted 8 months and we had no children. I had tried to break up with him several times in the past, but he always talked me out of it. He never worked very hard on us, but whenever I would try to leave, he fought to save the relationship like he would die without me.
Around Thanksgiving, I decided that I wanted to be a better tennis player and lose the 65 pounds I put on over the course of our relationship. I really put in the effort and dedicated myself to my goals.
One night, I woke up and realized that I was accomplishing everything by avoiding my husband until the end of the day. I realized that my mood instantly nose dives the minute I get home and talk to him. It finally occurred to me that I was in a toxic relationship and I needed to bail.”