Don’t think you can just step into a relationship with a bartender the way you would a relationship with any man. Bartenders (particularly cute ones) lead a unique lifestyle. Think about how you met him: you were probably a cute woman flirting with him from across the bar. Do you really think you were the first and last one to do that? No way. You’re just the one he wanted to do that. You’re the one whose phone number he didn’t throw away. I’m reminding you of this because you’ll need it to boost your confidence when the realities of dating a bartender sink in. You may think at first that what goes on at the bar doesn’t bother you. You may even try just avoiding the bar, because what you don’t see can’t hurt you. But eventually, you’ll have to face some tricky parts of being the hot bartender’s girlfriend. Here’s what you need to know.
Women will buy him drinks
At least 10 women will offer to buy him a drink or a shot every night. He won’t say yes to all of them (or else he’d be drunk on the job and probably get fired) but he “has to” say yes to some. It’s an unspoken rule of being a bartender: you have to drink a little with the patrons to keep the vibe fun and lively. Don’t take it personally when he accepts a drink from another woman (women?)
He’ll dress his best for work
He will dress to the nines for work, and in his jeans and t-shirts for date night with you. It will drive you nuts. You’ll say, “Why can’t you wear that vest I love on date night?! You only wear it to the bar!” You answered your own question. He has to get dressed up five nights a week for work. When he’s with you, he wants to feel relaxed. Be flattered.
He has to flirt for tips
Tips are his livelihood. If he just poured drinks and closed out tabs in a cut and dry manner, he wouldn’t be able to pay rent. Tips come when the flirting comes. The man needs to make a living, so let him give a little smile here and there. His flirting pays for your date nights.
He also has to be a good listener
He is going to tell you a lot of stories about the bar patrons. You’re going to think, “Man. You sure do know a lot about Kristen! And Lauren! And all the other girls who come in there!” Being a good listener also brings in the tips.
But he can’t always listen
On that note, he might be tapped out on listening to other people’s problems when he gets home. If he seems distracted when you try to vent to him, know he’s not a jerk. He’s just played therapist for 8 hours. Vent to him in the morning?
There will be receipts with phone numbers
Instead of the old number on the napkin trick, a lot of women write their phone number on the bar’s copy of their credit card receipt. If you hang out with your bartender boyfriend when he’s closing out the bar and tallying up his credit card tips, you might see these phone numbers. Try to remain calm.
There will be persistent regulars
There will be women who come to the bar every week or even every day, hoping that your boyfriend will fall in love with them. Yes, even if they know he has a girlfriend. Yes, even if you’re sitting right there. Some women like a challenge.
The hours are terrible
Your boyfriend will get home from work four hours after you’ve gone to bed. Find out the days he has off for the month at the beginning of the month and plan something special for them. It’s the only way you’ll get quality time together.
You should visit him at work
If you want more time with him, you should visit him at work during happy hour. Most bars don’t get busy until 8 pm or later, so if you swing by at 5 pm when he’s just opened for happy hour, you’ll likely have him all to yourself. You can have a drink together…he’ll just be on the clock.
Some women will hate you
When you do go to the bar, you’ll notice other patrons or even bartenders giving you dirty looks. They might be in love with your boyfriend. Sorry.
Some men will hate you
Don’t forget about the gay men! If your boyfriend is a cutie, he is attracting men and women! And, again, he has to flirt to get tips. So there could be a few male patrons who had the wrong idea about him and are heartbroken when you walk in.
Don’t ask him his “number.”
Didn’t you learn anything from the “Sex and the City” episode when Miranda asks Steve how many women he’s slept with. It was a lot. Steve put it perfectly, “I’m a bartender, and I’m cute.”
His coworkers are his family
You might feel left out of the bar camaraderie sometimes. Your boyfriend spends a lot of hours with the other bartenders and cocktail servers. They’ve been through a lot together, like angry and misbehaved drunk patrons. They’ll have a lot of inside jokes and code words. Try not to feel left out: he needs that comradery to get through the work day.
Befriend his coworkers
It could help to befriend the other employees of the bar. You can learn the inside jokes, too, and your boyfriend will feel closer to you for it. Befriending the other women who work there also reduces the chances that they’ll hit on your boyfriend.
If you can trust him, none of it matters
In the end, if you know you can trust your boyfriend, it doesn’t matter if he’s a bartender or a stripper. And on the flip side, if you can’t trust a man, it doesn’t matter if he works from home! He’ll find a way to philander. So date somebody you trust, no matter their profession.