Going on a road trip with your partner? It can be an incredible bonding experience, just you, your man and the open road. You have seemingly endless time to talk…End. Less. As fun as road tripping with your boo may be, it comes with its own set of arguments, too. You don’t have the luxury of taking a walk around the resort when you need space, the way you would if you were taking a stationary vacation. You’ll be in a cramped little car, constantly changing location, always unfamiliar with your surroundings, and perpetually sleep deprived after checking in and out of motels. If you know the arguments that can come up on a road trip, then you can avoid them and just take in all this great country has to offer, moving 65 MPH.
The pee police
If you’re like me, then one cup of coffee creates eight trips to the bathroom. But every time you stop on a roadtrip to pee, you get side tracked by trinkets in the gas station gift shop and the allure of french fries at the nearby drive through. By pee stop number three, your partner wants to force you to pee into a cup for the rest of the trip. When you take a sip of water, he stares at you with distain.
Peeing on the side of the road
Luckily for your partner, he can pee just about anywhere. Not only is that A) Not fair but also B) You really wish he wouldn’t do it on the side of the freeway where everyone can see! Being arrested for indecent exposure would put a damper on this road trip.
Men are never cold. What is wrong with them? And they love driving with the windows down. If you try to turn on the heat on or close the windows, they start dramatically fanning themselves like a woman in menopause. They look at you like you are torturing them.
Talking on the phone
You may think a road trip is a perfect time to catch up with family and friends on the phone. Your partner might think if he has to listen to one more phone call he is going to throw your phone out the window.
Trying to find somewhere cute to eat
You’re passing through places you’ll never be before! You don’t want to eat at Taco Bell or somewhere you can eat anywhere. You want to find somewhere cute! Your partner doesn’t want to wait for you to read blogs on your phone about the best brunch places in this neighborhood.
Trying to find somewhere healthy to eat
Aside from the fact that you can eat Taco Bell anywhere, you also want something healthy. But most of the major high ways that can get you through road trips don’t pass by vegan restaurants or Soup Plantations. As you pass through yet another stretch of fast food spots and say, “Let’s just wait until the next exit to see if there is something healthy” your partner is thinking about leaving you at the next stop.
Napping as the co-passenger
If you’re not driving, it’s the perfect time to nap, right? Not if you have a partner who insists you “keep him company” while he drives. Ugh. You would let him nap if you were driving!
It’s like the argument over what to watch on Netflix, but going 70 MPH on very little sleep.
The need for silence
There is going to come a time when you just need complete silence. It is usually nowhere near the time your partner needs silence. It’s a blast.
To drive or to sleep
You think it’s dangerous to keep driving when you’re both so tired. You want to stop at a motel. Your partner doesn’t want to pay any more money for accommodations, and he wants to keep going. Meanwhile, you can see him almost nodding off at the wheel!
To camp or to get a motel
Speaking of spending money on accommodations, that adds up fast on a road trip. Your partner might want to save some cash by camping one night, but you might want to save, like, your lives by not camping in the middle of nowhere.
Stopping to site see
You want to stop at every museum and miniature souvenir factory on the road. Your partner says, “It’s all the same! Let’s just get to our destination!” You say he doesn’t know how to enjoy the moment. He probably groans and does that twitching thing with his jaw.
If one of you smokes and one of you doesn’t, there will be so many arguments about that on a road trip. Your partner doesn’t want you to smoke in the car, but he also won’t stop so you can smoke outside of the car.
God forbid you want to run a blow dryer over your bangs and some lip gloss over your mouth before leaving the motel in the morning. Your partner is in the car honking and yelling, “What does it matter what you look like? We’re just going to be in the car! Nobody’s looking at you!” Thanks for the compliment, buddy.
If you’re on the road together for tens of hours, you’re bound to criticize one another’s driving skills. But when you’re tired and want your partner to drive, he will say, “Oh. Now you want me to drive? I thought I drove too close to the side of the road?” Ugh.