Do You Ever Really Get Over Your Baby Daddy?

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Truth be told, I kicked my “Love and Hip Hop” habit some time last year. But I saw a headline about the Hollywood cast, that made me click. Moniece confessed her love for Lil Fizz…or Fizz. (Old habits die hard.)

And I thought, look at her finally being honest.

Watching Moniece and Fizz on screen for just one second, anyone can tell that she still has feelings for him. She was just a bit too confrontational with his shady, shiesty girlfriend last season. There was a little too much bitterness, hurt and disappointment in her voice when she spoke about or to him.

Most of us can relate. It’s hard to be pleasant and cordial with a man you still have feelings for when he’s sleeping with someone else, particularly when that new person is unworthy.  Coincidentally, things got better between them once Fizz and his girlfriend broke up.

And after months of them getting along so famously, Moniece finally decided to tell Fizz how she felt.

“Since we’ve been able to get along and co-parent and things are going good, I’m starting to remember the man that I fell in love with. And now that I’m getting the hang of juggling work and mommy duty again–and the fact that you’re there this time to be supportive–is the first time I’ve had a chance to be honest with myself. I still love you. I will always love you and I can’t help but think what life would be like with us as a family. I just wanted to know do those thoughts ever like cross your mind?”

Sadly, Fizz politely shut her down, saying he fell out of love with her five years ago.

I know that had to sting. And Moniece was promptly roasted on social media. But I was happy to see them handle this very delicate conversation like adults and hug it out at the end.

Honestly, this was one of the few times I was able to relate to Moniece. That’s the thing about “Love and Hip Hop.” Just when you think it’s all orchestrated madness and mayhem, there’s a moment like this that makes you think of yourself or someone you know.

I don’t have children. But I know what it’s like to want, desire, envision and even believe that you’re supposed to be with someone romantically. That idea is hard to let go.

I know how hard it was for me to release and I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to do so with someone you share a chid with.

After a breakup, most of us distance ourselves from that person, removing reminders of our lost love from our spaces. But when you have a child with someone, for most women, a piece of that person is always with you. And that’s if that man is gone. If the father is active in his child’s life you’ll not only have to see and raise your child, you’ll have to interact and even spend time around him.

It’s tricky, emotional gymnastics.

I’m a firm believer that when you truly love someone, the love you have for them doesn’t go away. It just morphs into something platonic and preferably distant if you’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t or won’t be with that person.

I imagine that platonic love is even stronger when you both love the same person, a person who is half of each of you.

And y’all know the Spinners said that “sparks turn into flames. And love can burn once again.”

Before Moniece spoke to Fizz, she said that while she felt like she saw the man that she fell in love with seven years ago, she also said that her feelings were confusing and she didn’t know where they came from.

I want to ask the women out there who are co-parenting, has that ever happened to you? Are there moments where you and your former boo, ex husband, baby daddy are getting along so well and the friendship is popping and love the both of you have for your child is so overflowing that you just wonder “maybe we can try again.”

More importantly, if and when those feelings arise, how do you know when to ignore them and when you really should try to fight for your family unit to live under one roof?

Personally, I hope to never, ever find myself in this situation. I would probably be out here acting a fool, chasing after my child’s father on roller skates. Hats off to the women who’ve managed to figure it out.

If you’ve ever experienced anything like Moniece has, do tell.

You can watch the interaction between Moniece and Fizz on the next page.

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