A couple of months ago, I was listening to the “Another Round” podcast with Stacy-Marie Ishmael and Tracy Clayton. On this particular episode their featured guest was Tiq Milan, a trans man and advocate for the LGBT community. And towards the end of the podcast the ladies asked Tiq what did he want people to know about masculinity. And he said masculinity is so fragile. I gave the comment an emphatic “umph” and have thought about it quite a bit since that day. I’ve always had my suspicions but that clear and succinct phrase clarified what I had long since witnessed.
This morning Ebony editor and cultural critic Jamilah Lemieux asked women if they had ever been yelled at by a man after she rejected their advances. She hashtagged it, #MasculinitySoFragile. Being as this is such a common experience, the responses came pouring in. Check out some of the responses, including some of the wayward men who felt attacked…thereby proving the very point of the hashtag.
#MasculinitySoFragile that it's more important to teach women to reject men politely than it is to teach men to accept rejection peacefully
— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) September 23, 2015
RT if a man has followed you for more than a block AFTER you declined his advances #MasculinitySoFragile
— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) September 23, 2015
RT if a man has followed you off a bus or train AFTER you declined his advances #MasculinitySoFragile
— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) September 23, 2015
RT if a man has yelled at you or cursed you out after you declined his advances #MasculinitySoFragile
— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) September 23, 2015
Many of us have this story. But it’s not the only example of the fragility of Masculinity, check out some others, some comical, some tragic and others threatening.
#MasculinitySoFragile your treatment of your girlfriend is dictated by preconceived ideas of being the "man in the relationship"
— . (@Quexified) September 23, 2015
There were clearly those who didn’t get it…and subsequently ended up playing into the very need for the hashtag to begin with.
#masculinitysofragile if u challenge my manhood i'll beat u up pic.twitter.com/YbWkFE2RpX
— 🐢 bob 📼 (@bobvids) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/Julia_ATC/status/646672997571514368
(She was being cheeky. Sadly, these weren’t an attempt at satire at all. Just really ignorant, long held beliefs.)
https://twitter.com/MeGP216/status/646688123683008512
No, actually it’s not. There are several women who have lost their lives for politely rejecting a man.
Thankfully, there were plenty of men who got it.
https://twitter.com/Smooth_Orator/status/646683858935660544
Yup!
#MasculinitySoFragile we think our wives/sisters/mothers/daughters getting liberated contributes to our oppression. pic.twitter.com/FAnsHboCsQ
— C.E. Little, Ph.D. (@ItsDrLittle) September 23, 2015
#MasculinitySoFragile men can be emasculated by women talking about life experiences. https://t.co/uoTmiUKa74
— Chinua AcheBae (@sordidjoy) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/NotAllBhas/status/646731328885522432
Be sure to zoom in and read the ridiculousness.
#MasculinitySoFragile that men see this hashtag as "man-hating" instead of a challenge to be a better human being
— Yukio Strachan (@boldandworthy) September 23, 2015
