The “Should You Fix His Plate” Question Reemerges On Twitter

May 20, 2015  |  


Even as a young girl, I was fascinated to see my mother fix my father’s plate. They were both clearly able-bodied people so I couldn’t understand why she was the one making his plate. While he was more than capable. After years of watching this, finally I decided to ask her what this was all about.

“Why do you fix Daddy’s plate when he could get it himself?”

My mother, having endured years of my persistent questions and slick mouth, responded with a twinge of an attitude.

“I don’t have to fix your father’s plate. And I don’t always do it. But it’s just a nice gesture. And I don’t mind.”

Well, that made sense. If she liked it, I loved it. And she was right she didn’t always do it and my father wouldn’t sit and starve waiting for my mother. Quiet as it’s kept, he could cook pretty well himself. He bakes exceptionally well.

I learned long ago, from watching my parents and my mother’s response, that a woman should do only what she feels comfortable doing for her man. And what works for some women doesn’t work for all. (Though I later learned that I too am not opposed to fixing a man’s plate.)

I’d reconciled this in my own mind and life but apparently, the topic came up again, when this picture went viral on Twitter.

There are two points of discussion here. Whether or not this woman should fix her man’s plate and the other woman who jumped up to do it while his significant other was there.

If you ask me, the other woman is completely out of line for offering to fix a plate for another woman’s man. If she’s offering to do something like this, she knows that this gesture is intimate and typically reserved for couples. Homegirl is looking for trouble. And honestly, if I were the type of woman who didn’t fix plates, I would expect my man to tell her he can fix his own plate or leave the one she prepared for the birds and small insects to devour. He shouldn’t eat from that plate like Adam and Eve shouldn’t have eaten from the Tree of Knowledge.

You’ll also notice in the original tweet, the man tells his girlfriend that he’s hungry. Which is one of the last things I want to hear from a man when there is food around and readily available. The fixing of the plate, as I’ve observed, is something I’ve seen offered, never expected or demanded. Because able bodies. Expecting me to fix your plate will have you severely disappointed. Let that gesture come from the goodness of my heart not the misogynistic nature of your expectations.

But that’s just me. Check out what some Twitter users had to say about it on the following pages and answer our poll below.

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