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No matter how hard you try, your relationship will never be perfect. Hopefully, you enjoy the good times and work to fix those that aren’t so great. One of the biggest mistakes a couple–or someone in a relationship–can make is comparing what they have to other people. Does it even sound like a good idea? Here’s why you shouldn’t do it.

It devalues your journey

You have come too far in your relationship to start comparing it to other people. All romantic partnerships are unique and can’t or shouldn’t be duplicated.

Be original, not a copy.

Can create competition

The last thing you should ever want is for your love to think they have competition. There’s no room in your relationship for another person so stop making them feel there’s some sort of race for your love.

Stirs up jealousy

How can you not be jealous of a couple that you envy? Jealousy is an ugly trait that makes it difficult to value what you have.

Can make someone question your obsession

Just like folks side-eye Kanye for putting Beyoncé on a pedestal, don’t be too surprised if your love begins to question your loyalty. Why are you so focused on someone else’s relationship instead of your own?

Doesn’t encourage

One of the reasons why you might have issues in your relationship is because you do little to encourage it. Breathe life into your situation instead of strife and criticism.

You’re on a different path

Remember, no two love stories are the same. There are different variables like personalities and upbringing that come into play. Not all relationships make it, so concentrate your efforts on making yours the best it can be.

Makes you forget individuality

There has to be something special your beloved brings to the table. Why else would you stay in a relationship with him or her? Rather than focus on what someone else does, remember the good things your love does for you.

Becomes an uncomfortable situation

Hopefully, you aren’t nagging your partner about another person’s relationship. If so, don’t be too surprised if and when they start to feel weird should you all interact with one another.

Robs you of your joy

Pay attention to how easy it becomes to point out a person’s flaws instead of positive traits. The more you compare your relationship to others the more it robs you of your joy. Who wants to spend time thinking about all the bad things that occur?

Makes you negative

This shouldn’t be much of a shock.

Expect negativity should you continue to play the relationship comparison game. Sooner or later, you’ll focus solely on all the bad things in your relationship which will get you absolutely no where.

Can put future plans on hold

So you think you can nag your beloved about not acting like someone else and still get the ring?

That’s cute.

If you truly want your relationship to head in the right direction, please do your best to build it up–and not focus on others.

Opens insecurities

“I must not be good enough.”

Unfortunately, our self-esteem and confidence in a relationship can take a toll. Who wouldn’t rethink their approach if they were constantly reminded of what someone else is doing?

Creates unrealistic expectations

Let’s be honest, when it comes to your relationship, you need to be realistic. No matter how much you love someone, they can only be themselves. Stop trying to get them to change into someone they aren’t.

Never see the entire picture

Just because someone presents an image of having the perfect relationship doesn’t mean there aren’t any flaws present. No one lives a fairy tale life where Prince Charming is perfect all the time. You never know what folks deal with behind closed doors.

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