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There is really no such thing as a good catcall. But some manage to be the worst of their kind, in what is naturally the worst behavior. These cat calls are derogatory, manipulative, and sometimes downright dumb; hence we’ve deemed them the worst catcalls ever.

“Smile”

This is so manipulative: if we don’t smile, we feel like we’re “proving” that we’re b*tchy. If we do smile, we just followed an order. PS do you walk around smiling, like you’re constantly in a pageant? No. Because nobody does.

 

“Hey excuse me?”

Tricky, tricky. When a man starts with, “Excuse me” you think he’s going to let you know you have toilet paper stuck to your foot, so he has your full attention. It’s also just a way cat callers pretend to be polite.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Another tricky one: feeding on your generosity. You think the guy just needs directions. Now that you’ve already agreed to answer his question, you feel trapped—and he does not need directions.

“Baby”

“Baby” is a term of endearment reserved for significant others. Do not force yourself into my inner circle.

“Princess”

Please do not call me something that assumes I am entitled, or think I’m above others. This is some manipulative BS too: if I don’t respond, I feel like then I’m acting like a “princess” when really, I just want to be left alone.

 

“Sweetie”

I know exactly what this is: you’re hoping I want to continue to appear to be a sweetheart so I’ll entertain your cat calling and not say something mean. Newsflash: I do not care if some scum of the earth thinks I am sweet. I’m happy to prove him wrong.

Kissing sounds

Oh okay: so I’m a dog now that you’re beckoning over? Gross. So gross.

 

Whistling

Thank you for drawing the attention of the entire street to his awkward interaction. Now everybody is watching me to see how I respond.

 

 

The drive by

You just violated my ears. And I can’t even defend myself because you’re gone. And I’m left here feeling gross.

Putting it in a song

Disgusting, disrespectful words are just that, no matter what tune you say them in.

 

“That’s what I’m talking about”

As if every woman who walks by is there just to serve your purpose of cat calling—as if I just dreamed to be what some low life was “talking about.”

“I’d hit that”

First of all, I didn’t ask if you would. Secondly, of course you would hit that. You would hit anything. You’re disgusting. Nobody wants you. Don’t pretend you have options.

“Work it girl”

I’m not trying to “work” anything. I’m just trying to walk. Please don’t turn the sidewalk in front of the drugstore into a cat walk.

 

 

“I don’t mean to offend but…”

Adding “I don’t mean to offend” before offensive words does not make those words any less defensive.

 

“You look like you could handle all of this”

Okay, but I don’t want to. Like, I really don’t want to. You’re right about one thing though: you probably are a lot to handle. You’re probably miserable and unemployed and stupid. That does sound like a lot to handle.

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