White Women Are #Winning, Step Your Game Up
Do white women have more options than black women? Yes and no. As the reigning standard for beauty, there certainly aren’t many groups of men who do not date them. Additionally, white women tend to be equal-opportunity daters. There lies the favor. That said, they are a bit more optimistic than black women when it comes to finding a husband because they don’t fall victim to ‘the shortage’ of available, desirable black men.
Black women have to stop equating interracial dating with self-hate. Interracial dating doesn’t mean black or the other; it means black and the other. Traditional standards of beauty are evolving in our favor, more and more ‘other’ men are openly dating and marrying black women. We just have to be receptive and let go of the notion that dating a white man is abandonment.
Secondly, marriage isn’t just for white people and it is more than a piece of paper. Single-parenting and having children out-of-wedlock has not benefited the black community. Sadly, most of our children have no idea what it is like to grow up in a whole family or ever see Mommy and Daddy married. Hence, black women (caught in a vicious cycle) continue to accept being called ‘wifey’ rather than becoming a wife. White women, on the other hand, expect to get the ring and check off spouse. They still view marriage as the ultimate union while black women refute its importance. Our lower expectations for commitment are the reason there are more (never married) baby mamas than married women. Raise the expectations, raise the results.
The article goes on mention:
The words of my best white girlfriend from college still ring in my ears. “Well, if I don’t find my husband in undergrad I will just go to grad school – that’s what my mom told me”. There she was at 19 thinking about a strategy to find her future husband; and there I was rolling my eyes and thinking how trivial and uninformed she seemed. I was in college to get an education to find a good job (like my mom told me), not to find a man. Fast forward 10 years and here I am, along with a lot of my girlfriends, just waking up to the reality of dating and trying to now put our husband strategies in place. White women are winning because they are planning ahead.
Generally speaking, they are. Young, black women are raised to go to college to get an education, an education only. White women are there for both a degree and a husband. Rarely are they completely closed off to the possibly of meeting Mr. Right. Black women, on the other hand, focus all of their efforts on their careers only to be looking down at a bare finger 10 years later. I look at my group of friends and see the same thing. Most of the white women I know in their mid-twenties to early thirties are either engaged or married, some with children. There is a balance that we must find. It doesn’t make you any less driven because in addition to an education you are in the market for a potential husband. We say that they are looking for handouts and call them goldiggers when really they are just being smart. Black women want a man to pamper and provide for them, too. Does that make us golddiggers also? No. We are just silly for giving white women a head start.
It’s O.K. to put yourself in good position to meet the man you want, whether it is in college or as a young professional. Know the type of men you are interested in dating and put yourself around people in their circles. When you meet someone you like, pursue it. Don’t immediately put up your blockers because you have yet to conquer the world. Some of the happiest married couples have lasted through the years because they grew together. Marriage doesn’t mean you have to give up your dreams; it just means you have a loving hand there to support you.
