We realize that, in order to make a story interesting, writers have to insert a little drama. And we understand that, to leave the audience happy, writers have to resolve that drama. But in real life, hardly ever do two star-crossed lovers overcome the type of drama we see in romantic comedies. And certainly not in the impossibly short time spans that they do on the big screen. Check out some of the most unrealistic romantic comedy scenarios we’ve ever seen.
The cheatee takes responsibility
Let’s use Miranda in “Sex and the City” the movie as an example. Steve cheats on her, and somehow, she blames herself because she wasn’t attentive enough to him—she was too focused on her career and on her kid and she pushed sweet, otherwise loyal Steve to cheat. And she takes him back.
Sure, when someone is cheated on, they should contemplate how they may have provoked that behavior, but that behavior of infidelity was already in their partner. That is how that person handles being unhappy in a relationship. And you shouldn’t want to be with someone like that! Most women would laugh in the face of a cheater who tried to put the blame on them.
Friends with benefits become more, seamlessly
A la “Friends with Benefits” or “No Strings Attached.” Two people will have emotionless sex for months or years on end, only to “suddenly realize” they’re in love. And then have the best relationship ever.
Sounds nice but…
If two people are having emotionless sex for that long it’s because they don’t have feelings for one another, and probably never will. Two people can’t be physically intimate several times a week for several months or years and just “happen” to “not notice” they have feelings for each other.
You fall in love with your one night stand
Thinking of “Knocked Up” here. Or “The Hangover.” The story of two people who meet while they’re, at best, drunk and, at worst, rolling on ecstasy, hookup, and realize, through some two sentence interaction the next hungover morning, that they actually like each other, is becoming more and more common.
Can we get a reality check?
Those instances in which two people who meet drunk, have sex and fall in love are the rarity. One night stands happen every night, all over the world. And probably one out of ever 10,000 of them result in anything more than that. So don’t go out hoping to find love via 10 shots of tequila and a cute stranger.
Running away when you think you’ve been cheated on
Romantic comedies have a longstanding history of over-reactive characters—of characters that simply knock on a door, see someone they weren’t expecting answer it, and run away, take that job across the country and jump on a plane because they assume they were being cheated on.
Trust issues much?
Most people, before making life changing decisions and blocking somebody’s phone number, would ask a few simple questions like, “Who is this in your apartment? What are they doing here? Are you cheating on me?” Most of the time, they’d get some pretty satisfactory answers and everybody would be happy at The Cheesecake Factory within an hour.
Co-workers enter into a successful relationship
Thinking of “Love Actually” here or “Two Weeks Notice.” Co-workers or, even more drastic, employees and their bosses, will fall in love and live happily ever after. And the workplace will thrive more than ever because of that loving relationship!
What usually happens if an employee and boss fall in love is that eventually, the employee is second guessing him or herself, “Do I actually love my boss or am I now just afraid of losing my job if things end/enjoying the perks at work of sleeping with the boss?” It’s almost impossible to accurately access your feelings about someone when you work with them and are around them all the time.
Thinking again of “Knocked Up” or of “Juno.” Oh, I just realized the condom broke or I forgot to take my pill. I guess I have no choice but to have a baby.
We’re not going to spark a conversation here on a woman’s choices about her body. But we will say that most women wouldn’t just immediately say, “Well I guess all I can possibly do is have this baby and change my life forever now. Oops!”
Love in any language
Thinking again of “Love Actually” here, of two people who fall in love based entirely on longing looks and small gestures, meanwhile the only words they can properly exchange are “Hello” and “Sorry.”
Nice story, however…
Oh come on. That would never happen in real life! It might be a relationship with the least fighting of any in the world, but eventually both people would feel lonely and bored while unable to communicate with their partner.
Calling off a wedding for someone you met for 5 minutes
Thinking “Serendipity” or “The Wedding Planner” here. Characters in romantic comedies love to pine after someone they met for five minutes, or who maybe they’ve interacted with a few times, until they end up calling off their wedding at the last minute, all for a chance to be with that person.
Can we grow up please?
Pining after people is a part of life! Everywhere we turn there are cute, charming people. If we called off our relationships every time somebody made a 5-minute good impression on us, society would crumble!