And Why It Doesn’t Work…..
Some women are puzzled, bewildered even when they find out that their significant other is cheating and the “other woman” is a significant downgrade. I’m not a woman (men have these experiences too), but I would imagine that it’s a bittersweet moment to say the least. While hurt that their lover has been unfaithful, their ego remains partially in tact because “she ain’t got nothing on me”.
I’m no Steve Harvey, (I’m better looking and my bank account doesn’t have nearly as many zero’s) so please don’t take any of my sweeping generalizations as fact; they are merely my opinion based on my life’s experiences. With that said, I think brothers “cheat down” because in our mind it’s supposed to be an easy conquest. At the very least it should require little to no effort and will satisfy the beast within that craves carnal, face down — *** up sex. So we find women who are less attractive than our current mate, less established and motivated in life’s pursuits and generally just don’t have the “it” factor that our significant other has. Lastly, we’re not trying to replace you; we’re just looking for some sideline fun. Because of this our typical wife material standards take a nosedive, because it’s just sex!
Does this work? Not never! For starters I don’t know why we subscribe to such a vain and egotistical way of thinking but some of us do. There are a few major flaws in this line of strategy. The biggest is how we place the woman we’re cheating with in this lower caste of women, thereby underestimating her true intelligence and potential spiteful ways which always turn to be the downfall of what we thought was a good thing. Secondly, you’re cheating and in an effort to not deal with unwarranted Facebook photo comments, wall posts, late night calls, and unannounced visits you confide in the side chick about your relationship thus giving her entirely too much power to completely blow up your spot.
In a flurry of arrogance we men can sometimes be vocal about how the side chick is less than and therefore not deserving of a title as grand as our girlfriend. So now the man has sowed the seeds of destruction and jealousy into his part time lover. He’s created a cat like rift between the woman he loves and the woman he could care less about but has given the advantage of valuable intel. Lastly, any relationship takes time, even if it’s an 11pm phone call of convenience (booty calls are so ’90s). So if you want that 11pm lustful rendezvous you’re going to have to text a little more, email a little more, and an occasional phone call because you can’t have your ticking time bomb feeling like her only usefulness is to service you when your girlfriend isn’t around or because you’re bored.
If there’s a moral to this story, it’s that cheating down doesn’t work. I would implore both men and women to be faithful but something tells me the variety of life will keep enticing us to get into these self-destructive scenarios. I hope my brothers (myself included) will learn the definition of insanity — doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. At the very least I hope that women can find clarity in knowing that your man didn’t want to replace you, he’s just greedy and wants to eat the whole cake by himself. If your significant other is cheating, you have bigger issues to worry about rather than if she’s an upgrade or a downgrade, i.e. STD’s. This upgrade/downgrade business is the shallow part of our ego wanting to hide the hurt and find something else to focus on. When really, finding out that your lover has been unfaithful is a time to reflect on how your relationship went wrong. Take some time and re-evaluate the signs that you may have ignored so that you can attempt to prevent this type of situation in the future. Peace and Love.
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