There is simply no reason to marry young today. Got knocked up? Fine. Nobody bats an eyelash at single parents today, or unmarried parents. Shoot, most Swedish men and women have children and never marry.
You want financial stability? You don’t need a husband: you need a therapist to help you understand why you’re afraid of pursuing your dreams. It’s the year 2014! You’re allowed to — and should — get your own two feet on the ground before letting someone sweep you off them. Not convinced? Here are 14 reasons you absolutely should not marry young.
You never know where your career might take you
An amazing career opportunity might come up across the country but…oh…you can’t leave now because you’re married and your partner works where you currently live. Now you can just stay at the level you’re at in your career and regret your partner forever.
You might become way more successful than your partner
If you and your partner are just in your mid twenties, you have no idea how successful you may or may not be. You’re both in entry level—mid level at best—jobs, in lines of work you might even realize you don’t want to be in! For all you know, in ten years you could be a CEO and your boyfriend who seemed so charmingly creative with all his “business ideas” at 21 is financially dependent on you at 31. And playing video games all day.
Most networking events are at night
You won’t become that CEO if you’re just putting in the bare minimum at work and clocking out the second you can because your husband is waiting at home for you. Networking events and opportunities take place at night and on the weekends!
You need to sleep around
You do! You’re an animal! Literally. It’s in your blood to want to spread your seed, even if you’re a woman. If you’ve only slept with a couple of people and then commit to sleeping with one person the rest of your life…you’ll get “the itch” later down the line.
You make your closest friends while single
You know it’s true. Your favorite and most meaningful moments with your friends to this day are helping one another through breakups, drinking a bottle of vodka together to get over a boy, dancing until 6 am at a club and eating a giant pizza for breakfast that you both regret the next day but not really because you had a blast! But once you’re married, friendship is confined to “dinner dates” that last for 2 hours, and are way too sober.
You won’t travel as much
You have to consider somebody else’s schedule when booking a trip, and when you both have full time jobs, this becomes impossible. You can’t just hop on a plane to visit a friend you haven’t seen in years whenever you feel like it. You can’t take a cruise you’re yearning to take until your husband gets enough vacation days.
You’ll miss the time to have male friends
Male friends are so valuable! You might learn more about what you want in a man from your male friends, than from dating tons of men! And your early and mid twenties are a prime time to have male friends: it’s the first time in life people realize they don’t have to have sleep with anyone of the opposite sex, and men will be your friend. But, if you’re married, it’s kind of inappropriate for you to be throwing back beers with a group of other men on a Friday. So no male friends for you.
You can lose your drive
A major driving force behind us pursuing our dreams is so that we can become a person we respect and love, so that someone else will respect and love us. But if we marry someone when we haven’t achieved any of our goals, we lose a lot of the drive to keep pursuing them.
You won’t know how to be alone
Those single years in your twenties are when you learn how to be alone. They’re when you learn how to bring yourself up out of a depression, and how to boost your own confidence when you’re having self-deprecating thoughts. But if you have someone else around to do all of that for you, you’ll never develop that muscle yourself. And you’ll just lose that muscle.
You’ll meet fewer people
When you’re single, and at an event where you don’t know anyone, you mingle! You mostly do it to meet a guy, but through that you meet interesting people, work contacts, people you learn from, new friends and so much more! But, when you have a husband at your side, you get lazy and just stick with him. So much for expanding your social circle.
You’ll be less sexually adventurous
Another reason you have to sleep around is that each person you sleep with is at a different level of sexual comfort, and they help get you there. You could sleep with one person to whom anal play is totally normal. Now that’s part of your repertoire. You could sleep with someone who brings toys into play and edible lotion. But, when you marry young, you and your partner’s sexual growth sort of stagnates.
You won’t grow as much as you could
Marriage sort of freezes your development. However much you’ve grown as a person, you’ll get stuck there when you marry. If you marry a little later in life, that’s fine! Because you know who you are and what you want! But if you marry too young, you might remain immature forever. You have to: that’s the person your partner married, so you don’t have much room to change now.
You don’t really know what you want in a partner
You really don’t know what’s out there until you know what’s out there. There are so many people in the world with so many habits and characteristics and lifestyles that you can’t even imagine. If you marry young, you’ll find yourself thinking, “This person seems just right for me but…how do I really know?! Maybe a way better match is out there!”
Divorce is one of the worst experiences possible
It really is. Some divorcees say they’d rather die than get divorced again. And young marriages have a much higher risk of divorce than marriages that take place later in life.