Signs One Of Your Parents Is Ruining Your Relationship
Relationships only involve two people, but sometimes there are outside influences, especially people, who can play a role in how happy and successful a relationship is. True love is never easy, but things become even more complicated when parents enter the picture. His parents, your parents, or both can create plenty of drama which can slowly chip away at the relationship. Here are 14 signs that your parents, or his, are ruining your relationship.
They’re very intrusive
It’s okay to be close to your parents, but when you’re in a relationship, you may find that some parents can be a bit too intrusive. Maybe your parents show up to your house uninvited or maybe they demand to spend a lot of time with you which then takes time away from your partner. Intrusive parents can definitely take away from a happy relationship so it’s best to set boundaries to ensure that your parents, and his, understand the rules.
They don’t like your partner
We all want our parents to like and enjoy the person that we choose to date but in the end it’s not about pleasing your parents or his parents, it’s about being happy with the person you’re dating. If your parents don’t like your man or if his don’t exactly like you, the relationship can definitely take a toll since we tend to seek the approval of those around us, especially when it comes to dating.
They disapprove of the relationship
Maybe your dad just isn’t ready to give you over to another man or maybe your partner’s mom doesn’t want to lose her little boy. Whatever the underlying problem is, when parents disapprove of a relationship, they’ll often voice it and show it, which can definitely make things harder than they really need to be or should be. When parents don’t agree with a relationship, the drama and tension is bound to be high.
They still see you as their baby
No matter how old you are or how far along you are in a relationship, you will always be your parents’ child, just as your partner will always be his parents’ child. However, the problems start when your parents, or his parents, treat the two of you like young children who still need their hands held. Be assertive with your parents, and his, and let them know that you’ve got this and that there’s no need to baby you anymore.
They blow things out of proportion
Last weekend you and your man had plans to travel across state and at the same time your parents decided that they wanted to throw a family cookout. You decided to travel instead and now your parents aren’t talking to you. Parents are known for blowing things way out of proportion and now is the best time to remind your parents, and his, that you two have different priorities now and that you two can’t be two places at once.
They don’t want to let go
For years now your parents have gotten used to you being around day and night and being able to see you whenever they want to. However, now that you’re in a relationship, things are a bit different and they’re learning the weird concept of sharing you. Since parents get used to seeing you every holiday, it can be hard to break the trend but the key is to make sure that your parents know they are still important to you.
They want you to think how they do
Just because you share DNA with your parents doesn’t mean that you have to act like they do and make the same decisions that they would. If your parents, or if his parents, assume that you will think how they think and act how they act, then things can definitely go downhill quickly. Ensure that both sets of your parents understand that you’ll do things your own way since it’s your relationship.
Things just aren’t clicking
Most women want to be able to like and get along with their man’s parents and the same goes for any man who is in a relationship. But sometimes things don’t always work out. There are some people who will just rub you the wrong way and maybe you’re really unable to pinpoint why. The best solution here is to sit down and talk it out with everyone.
They’ve set a bad example
When it comes to dating, a lot of us seek advice and knowledge from our parents, but sometimes our parents haven’t set the best example. If your parents are divorced or if your man’s parents are unhappily married with all sorts of drama, the status of their relationship can definitely impact yours. Look towards positive examples to focus your relationship.
They don’t agree with your new lifestyle
You moved a few hours away to be with your man and your parents are having a hard time accepting and dealing with it. Or maybe they think that you two are spending too much money on traveling to new places. Whatever the case may be, when the parents don’t agree with how you’re living your life, it can negatively impact your relationship. This is a good time to remind your parents that your choices are yours and that you and your man have your own life together and you’ll stick by him and your decisions.
They guilt trip you
Parents obviously know how to push the wrong buttons and where to hit where it hurts. If your parents, or his parents, are infamous for their guilt-trips, this can put a strain on your relationship. Now is the time to strengthen your relationship and the bond you have with your partner. At the same time the parents will need to be reminded of their boundaries.
They’re very negative
Negative parents don’t do any good when you’re trying to have a successful and happy relationship. When parents focus on nothing but the negative aspects of your current and past relationships, you’ll start to lose security and trust in the man you’re dating. Don’t let parents introduce drama and dysfunction into your relationship just because they’re negative thinkers.
They encourage you to come to them when things are going wrong
As much as you may want to run to your parents after every fight that you and your man have, you’re only doing yourself a disservice. If your parents encourage you to tell them all of the drama, stress, and negative parts of your relationship, it’s obvious that everyone is forgetting the fact that you should be working things out with your partner and not with the parents, since the have nothing to do with it.
They spoil you and your man
Being spoiled on your birthday or having your parents spoil you and your man on Christmas isn’t a huge deal, but the problems will come when your parents feel the need to spoil you in every way possible. Maybe they want to help you buy your first home together or maybe they want to help you when you’ve gone into a bit of debt, but this can sometimes take away from the value of being in a relationship. When you’re with someone the two of you should make efforts to work things through and fix them instead of allowing your parents to solve everything.