Don’t Shoot The Messenger: Reasons Men Probably Don’t Want to Date You

October 22, 2013  |  
1 of 15

Though this may be hard to hear, there are some habits us women have that can easily, yet unknowingly, draw men away from us. If you’ve been trying to figure out why you’ve been single for so long, this list may help you narrow down some possibilities. Here are 14 reasons men don’t want to date you, and when you do date a man, things don’t last long nor do they go very far.

You’re insensitive

Though men aren’t as bad as women, when it comes to being sensitive, especially emotionally, men are keen on finding a woman who can be sensitive and understanding, no matter the situation. If you’re one to think that men shouldn’t be emotional and shouldn’t express their feelings much, you may find that a lot of men are just simply uninterested in someone like that.

You have a lot of male friends

While this will depend on the man, there are a lot of men out there who simply do not like dating a woman who has a lot of male friends. Just like women, some men find it extremely hard to believe that opposite sexes can just be friends, and nothing more. If you have a lot of close male friends and you’re very public about it, you may find that you’re chasing some men away. Of course, friends come before a man, so don’t dare think about abandoning your male friends.

You get your family too involved in the mix

You’re extremely close to your family and when it comes to dating, you’re quick to introduce your man to your parents and all of your other closest relatives. Though it’s definitely ideal to introduce your man to your family, it should happen at the right time. Introducing a man to your family after just a few days is a bit awkward, and things can get even worse when your parents start trying to have a say in things. This can make your man feel as though he’s in a relationship with you and your family.

You have crazy expectations

Having expectations is one thing, but setting the bar too high can definitely be a downfall. It’s okay to want a man who is making his own way in life; however, expecting a man to be rich, romantic, career driven, educated with a Masters degree, and owning a huge house and nice car can be a bit of a stretch. If these are your must haves in a man, good luck keeping one around for long, let alone finding one.

You’re out, a lot

In your mind, a hard day’s work means a night worth of fun, but partying all of the time, especially when you’re dating, can be a bit problematic. Some men will start to think that you’re not serious while others will simply be annoyed at the fact that you party at the club or at the bar so much. Men like women who spend time out on the town, but men also like a woman who can spend time at home and have just as much fun.

You’re unwilling to bend

Compromise is important in any relationship, even if you’re just casually dating someone. If you’re ideas, thoughts, and schedule are completely set in stone and you’re unwilling to bend just a bit, no man is going to want to stay with you for the long term. Dating is all about giving and getting just as its about being flexible when the time calls for it. Being unwilling to compromise can become one of the top reasons men don’t want to date you.

You’re a defensive arguer

Arguing is bound to happen because no one agrees on the same things all of the time. In fact, arguing is a part of dating and relationships, but there are different types of arguing. There are women who argue sensibly and fairly and then there are women who always get defensive, yell, name-call, and become extremely aggressive. For most men, this is a huge turn off and a good reason to walk out the door.

You treat the good guy poorly

A lot of times, the good guys really do finish last. You often talk about how you regret staying with your last boyfriend who cheated on you and was emotionally abusive, yet you stayed with him for years. But this new guy had to cancel a few dates and you’re just about ready to dump him and move on. Men easily catch on to a woman who is prone to treating the good guy badly yet giving a bad guy all the time in the world.

You’re a social network stalker

Nowadays social networking is everywhere and one of the first things people do when they start dating is friending each other on Facebook. However, if you are casually dating and things haven’t gotten serious yet, there’s no need to be all over a man’s Facebook. He can’t control who posts what on his page and old posts, especially from other women, should be irrelevant right now.

You change at the drop of a dime

Men can deal with a woman who is moody, especially when the time calls for it, but if you’re moody all day, every day, it’s not attractive at all. Being able to control your emotions is important for a not-so-stressful relationship where you and your man aren’t butting heads because one minute you’re happy and the next minute you’re angry at something you won’t even talk about.

You have a superiority complex

The whole feminism movement has gained a lot of popularity in today’s world and some women have decided that they are superior when compared to men. So when you’re on a date, you often speak badly of men and say that all men are the same, men can’t do things right, and other harsh words that just aren’t true. A superiority complex and dating just don’t go hand in hand.

You’re a bad listener

Being a bad listener often comes with being a bad communicator. When you talk about how your day was or how you’re frustrated about your latest work project, you expect your man to be completely focused in and listening to the conversation. Since you expect this out of a man, it’s important that you’re able to reciprocate. If you’re bad at listening, bad at communicating, or just bad at both, you definitely won’t be as appealing to men.

You’re extremely nosy

When you go on a date with a guy, it almost seems and feels like a job interview. Instead of letting conversation flow, you’re asking this man question after question, and asking more questions if the answer he gave you took you by surprise. It’s great to ask questions throughout the date, but if you’re grilling this guy on every date, it’s definitely a turn off, and he’ll probably give up after awhile.

You overlook his thoughtfulness

A lot of men put a lot of effort into doing nonverbal acts that show that they care about you and being around you. However, when a man opens the door for you, scoots out your chair, and helps you into the car first, you don’t acknowledge him nor are you one to say thank you. When a man makes the effort to be chivalrous and you act as if he’s doing himself a favor and not you, he’s definitely not bound to stay around for too long. Men like to know that the little things they do for you are noticed and appreciated.

Trending on MadameNoire

Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN