After The Love Is Gone: The Most Common Reasons People Fall Out Of Love

May 23, 2013  |  
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No one goes into a relationship with the thought that they will fall out of love. But, in some relationships, love just doesn’t last a lifetime. While you may still care about the person you’re in a relationship with or were in a relationship with, looking at things now, you realize that the love you once had is gone. If you don’t understand why, here are a few likely reasons.

A bad foundation

For a relationship and love to last, there has to be a very solid foundation for things to rest and grow upon. Maybe your relationship started off really shaky but you stayed together instead of taking time to fix things. Or maybe your relationship moved way too fast and important parts of building a relationship were missed. Relationships and love take time, effort, and energy. When a relationship has a bad foundation, eventually it will crumble.

Lies and lack of trust

Being betrayed is one of the worst things that can happen in a relationship. There is nothing worse than losing your trust in someone because they lied, cheated, or hid something important from you. Lies lead to lost trust and when trust isn’t there, love probably isn’t going to be there either. In some cases, the damage is done and is irreparable.

No communication

You’ve heard it and read it before, but communication is vital if a relationship is going to last more than a few months. When the communication in a relationship is gone, it leaves a lot of room for conflict and untalked about emotions and problems. Instead, these issues build up, you two become more distant, and in the end one or both of you loses the emotions you once had for each other. Communication is a must for love to exist and to continue growing.

Not 100% compatible

Compatibility can be a huge factor when it comes to developing real feelings for someone. While on the surface it seemed as though you two were plenty compatible and had a lot in common, as you spend more time together and the relationship evolves, you start to realize that once the fireworks are gone, some of the more important things, such as your priorities, lifestyles, and values just don’t mesh anymore. Liking the same television show or listening to the same music just isn’t enough to keep the love going.


Being jealous isn’t a good trait to have no matter how you look at it. It’s even worse to be jealous when you’re in a relationship. If you are a jealous partner or have a significant other who is, you know how hard it is to shake that emotion. It’s nice to know that your partner wants you and only you but when you’re hounding him over every move and everything he does — or being hounded — it becomes a nuisance, and clearly shows a lack of trust. No trust, no love.

Being taken for granted

You don’t know what you had until it’s gone. In some relationships, couples will take each other, and their relationship, for granted. Many people go into a relationship or even a marriage with the idea that love is unconditional and no matter what, their partner will be in love with them. However, when laziness sets in and respect starts to become a thing of the past, it’s easy for someone to fall out of love.

Major life events

Life is full of bumps, but sometimes the bumps in the road become much larger obstacles. A major life event can most definitely ruin the love that was once in a relationship. Maybe your man lost his job, feels inadequate, and has slipped into a depression, and refuses to talk to you about it. Or maybe you two are expecting a child but your man doesn’t see you as his lover anymore, but just a mother. Any event that is a major life change can easily jumble a relationship and the emotions involved in it.

Expectation issues

When you first start seeing someone, you are more likely to bend over backwards for your partner in order to keep your appeal and to mold yourself into someone who can meet your partner’s wants, needs, and wishes. But as time goes on, you become a lot more relaxed on how much bending you do. Instead, you start acting more like the real you and showing your true colors. When expectations aren’t met and the true you comes out, your partner may realize that he/she isn’t in love with the person you really are.

Lack of excitement

In order to keep a relationship fresh, there has to be some excitement and fun in it. When a relationship becomes boring or even exhausting, it can definitely take an emotional toll on the people who are involved in it. It’s hard to continue to love someone when your relationship has become a monotonous routine. No relationship can stay in the honeymoon phase forever, but when the sparks are lost, emotions can be lost too.

Secrets revealed

In a relationship, it’s best to be the real you and not keep any secrets. However, a lot of people are known for telling white lies or lying their way out of things in order to keep something else hidden. Finding out that your partner is a closet drug user or discovering that your partner really isn’t who he/she acts or says to be can definitely take a toll on your emotions. It’s hard to love someone who isn’t the person you thought they were.

Lack of support

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you expect them to support you in all ways possible. You want to know that your partner supports your career decisions, educational decisions, and even personal decisions. When you no longer support the person you’re with, emotional issues are bound to arise. Being in a relationship is all about being in your partner’s corner, always. When you’re no longer there, you begin to pull your emotions back.

High-maintenance relationship

There aren’t many men in the world today who seek a high-maintenance woman. Sometimes women can start off as low-maintenance, but once the money starts to roll in, they can change at the flip of a switch. Not many men want to go into a life-long sentence of trying to appease and appeal to his partner. Being demanding and high-maintenance can easily do damage to one’s love and emotions for you.

It wasn’t really love

Love and lust are tricky things. How many times have you thought that you were in love, when in fact you were in lust? Once the honeymoon phase ends, the fireworks are gone, and your heart is no longer in your throat every time you see your partner, the true emotions begin to emerge. Being in a relationship that is based on lust alone isn’t fulfilling, nor is it one that has any sort of substance to it.

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