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Mr. Wonderful asked to spend forever with you and now that you’ve jumped the broom, you’re trying to figure out how you are supposed to transition from career driven single gal to doting wife. This can be a challenging task, but it is quite doable without losing yourself or sacrificing your relationship with your husband.
1. Work
You have to figure out the balance that works best for excelling at your job, nurturing your marriage/household and most importantly, maintaining your sanity. That “magic” formula is going to be specific to your particular situation. Maybe you can have lunch together a couple time during the week if you work near eachother. You’re a resourceful woman, use those smarts!
2. Household Chores
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Put aside all of those gender norms and outside expectations and get into a household rhythm that works for you. If your husband makes a mean apple pie and you use the oven for storage, let him handle desserts. If you can build a bookshelf with your eyes closed and he doesn’t own a hammer, you officially have a needed skill in your house. Your husband might find your handywork Hot!
3. Letting a Man be a Man
Letting a man be a man has to do with protecting that fragile male ego and getting used to “we” as opposed to “I.” You have a man, a partner, who wants to love you, take care of you and offer you the world. Let him! By acquiescing to him doing those things you are not somehow admitting to any shortcomings of your own, you are telling him that you love and trust him to take of you and nurture your relationship.
4. Affection
A man isn’t necessarily going to say “Hey, I’d love for you to rub my back when I get home from a long day at work,” but you know he needs it, so go right ahead and do it. Be generous with your affection. If your relationship is properly balanced, he’ll be doing the same for you. In a solid marriage, there’s no worry that you’re getting played or that you are more into him than he is into you or any of that other nonsense.
5. Date Night
Now that you’re married, it’s critical that you establish a date night with your hubby. Maybe it’s once a week, maybe it’s every other Saturday, whatever works for you. A marriage can’t sustain itself on hello and goodbye and hurried conversation over a dinner of takeout. The goal is to keep your life as balanced and stable as possible.
6. Finances
Your money and your credit are inextricably linked to another person now even if you don’t have joint accounts. Sit down and hash out a plan that plays to each person’s strengths. Determine who pays which bills every month. If you do have joint bank accounts, consider also having separate savings accounts that are meant to be for indulgences or whatever else.
7. Lady in the Streets and a Freak in the Bed
Umm, the title of this section says it all. Let loose, girl! Of course don’t do anything that makes you truly uncomfortable, but now is the time to let go of those inhibitions. Whatever your grandmother told you not to do with boys, you can do that now!
Bottom Line
A marriage is a unit, so yes, you will be saying “we” a lot more often, but that doesn’t mean you are completely lost in the process. You are still, smart, successful and accomplished. Consider your marriage as a new chapter in your life as opposed to an end to your former life. You don’t erase who you are. We all change over time. Just try to make it so that you and your husband are growing together in a positive direction.
