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Though it’s usually guys complaining that they’re stuck in the friend zone, us women sometimes have to deal with the same situation. You’ve found yourself developing feelings for one of your guy friends, but the problem is that you two are just friends, and nothing more. Here are some tips to hopefully help you move past the friend zone and onto something better.

Figure out how you got into the friend zone

Knowing how you got into the friend zone will dictate your approach to getting out of it. Did you confide in him because you’re recently single and needed that male figure in your life? Were you there for him through every one of his break ups? Did you two have to settle for being friends because you were both committed to someone else? All of this will make a huge difference in how and how easily you can escape the friend zone.

Determine if he’s the shy type

Some guys just refuse to talk about their feelings while others are shy. If you have a shy guy on hand, you may find it a bit more difficult to really determine whether or not he likes you or if he’s even remotely interested in taking things a step further. A shy guy will be a bigger battle to conquer, but it requires more work on your part.

Are the feelings mutual?

This won’t be the easiest information to figure out, but it can be a deal breaker once you know the answer. If he’s feeling you too, great, you two can definitely move forward. But if your man friend just doesn’t have those emotions like you, you can’t expect him to grow them overnight. So this may be your sign to move onto the next one.

Don’t assume anything

When you’re trying to get out of the friend zone, you can’t assume anything at all. You can’t guess that he likes you. You can’t assume that he wants to be in a relationship. In this situation, you’ll have to find out the cold hard facts before making any move. Otherwise things may backfire and you’ll be left feeling hurt.

Try hard to set up a first date

The first date is what is going to matter the most. No matter how much you two talk or see each other, that date is going to either make or break your relationship. The first date will determine if you two are compatible as more than just friends. If you two can easily talk and communicate with each other, laugh and have fun, you may be  onto something good.

Communicate more with him

To help get out of the friend zone, try talking to him more often. Shoot him a text message or email out of the blue. Take interest in how his weekend went or his day at work. Showing interest in the small things is a good way to become more than just a friend to him.

Flirt subtly

The key to flirting with a guy who is only your friend is to do it subtly. Don’t full force throw yourself at him, or else you’ll ruin any chance that you ever had. Give him a kiss on the cheek once in awhile. Smile at him playfully. Compliment him. Catch his glances whenever you can.

Don’t go after him if he’s newly single

A guy who is newly single is probably going through a lot of emotions. Even if the decision was his, you can count on the fact that he’s feeling some hurt and sadness. Going after a guy friend who is freshly single may backfire on you as he could easily use you as a rebound. Or you’ll end up making yourself seem desperate.

Capitalize on your friendship

Being a good friend of his puts you in a great situation. Though you want to be more than just a friend, capitalize on the relationship that already exists. Build a strong bond with him as well as his friends. Figure out what kind of girls he likes and decide if you fit the mold, or at least part of it.

Weigh the risks

When you come out and tell him that you have feelings for him, things can either go really good or really bad. Determine if you’re willing to deal with the bad along with the good. Are you willing to risk your friendship by telling him? Even more so, are you willing to risk your emotions? Be sure what you’re feeling is true and worth the possible outcomes.

Don’t become a clingy friend

Guys don’t like clingy girlfriends, so your guy friend definitely isn’t going to enjoy a clingy friend. While it’s okay to talk more and flirt with him, don’t overdo things. You don’t want to text him every hour and you don’t want to call him every single night. Becoming clingy decreases your chances big time.

Pick the right timing to tell him

Time means everything and when you decide to tell your guy friend that you’re interested in something more, you have to do it at the right time. Don’t tell him your feelings if he’s in a relationship or if he’s just broken up with an ex. You’ll also want to avoid telling him over the phone or when he’s out with the guys. Try telling him face-to-face.

Drop some hints

Hint dropping will definitely make things easier when the time comes to tell him outright. Drop hints about how he’s been single and how you know someone who is interested. Or tell him how you two make such good friends and that you’d probably make an even better couple.

Accept that he doesn’t feel for you that way

Though this is the worst case scenario, in the end you’ll have to respect whatever decisions and feelings that your guy friend makes. If he simply isn’t ready for a relationship or doesn’t want to date you, you’ll have to accept things for what they are. Stay calm, cool, and collective and move on to the next one! There’s no need to get angry and ruin your friendship.

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