Women always think about the subtext of any text they write, of the underlying message of anything they say, and of all the possible ways something could be construed before they open their mouth. Why? Because they know that the woman they are talking to thinks about those things too. It’s a strength in a way, but can also cause problems. Men, on the other hand, pretty much just mean what they say. They’re about getting the truth out and moving forward. They don’t mean any more, or any less, than what they say. But since women are so accustomed to reading into things, some things men say can come off very rude! Like these.
The comment: “That feels kind of weird…”
So you’re trying something new out on your guy in bed, and he says “That feels kind of weird…” but he doesn’t sugar coat it. There’s no, “Hey, I love when you do this other thing actually” or “Just come up here and kiss me.” Nope—he just tells you, like a kid given a plate of broccoli, “I don’t like that.”
Men can criticize each other for a way they’re behaving in the moment, without taking it as an overall criticism of their character. Ever notice how a woman will become infuriated when a man says, “You’re acting like a Beyotch” and the man will always emphasize, “I said you were acting like one, not that you are one!” Men don’t realize that when they criticize something you’re doing in bed, that you see it as them thinking you’re just no good in bed. But there are probably still plenty of other things that he loves you do in bed.
The comment: “Yeah, it does have too much salt”
Women are always criticizing themselves, but don’t necessarily like to be criticized from the outside. So when you say of the meal you just slaved over and fed your man, “I think I put too much salt on it” and he says, “Yeah, it does have too much salt” you’re offended.
When one male friend asks another male friend, “Do I look stupid in this shirt?” the other answers, “Yes” and they both laugh and move forward. Why? Because men get that people mess up sometimes. They focus on the isolated act and how to fix that, without delving into all the other things wrong with the person or event. Also, men don’t ask for advice or opinions they don’t want. They don’t realize that women often ask for advice or opinions they don’t actually want to hear.
The comment: “Might be time for a shave…”
It is pretty mortifying when your boyfriend reaches into your panties and says, “Oooh…might be time for a shave…” when you just shaved, or just went in for your waxing.
Men do not understand what women go through, plain and simple. They don’t realize that over-shaving creates ingrown hairs and can increase the chance of bleeding down there, they don’t realize a certain amount of time has to pass between waxes and most importantly they don’t realize how uncomfortable all of those things are! So just keep that in mind: he has no idea what a sensitive topic he’s just touched on.
The comment: “Your friend is a little loud…”
You introduce your boyfriend to a really good friend. On the drive home, you ask him what he thought about her and you get, “She’s nice but she’s a little loud…” And you’re thinking, “How dare he criticize one of my best friends!”
Your boyfriend doesn’t realize you take it as a reflection on yourself when he criticizes your choice in friends. Men compartmentalize their friends: they can have one they play video games with, one they watch football with, and one they talk business with. They don’t really care if the video game player is unfaithful to his girlfriend, or the business guy has no sense of humor. They don’t see their friends as a reflection on themselves as women so often do.
The comment: “No, stop it, I can’t right now”
You’re trying to initiate sex and your boyfriend says, “No, stop it, I can’t right now” actually prying your hands off of him. Even worse, he says it in a tone like you’re a little kid annoying him. A simple and sweet, “Baby I’m so sorry, I have a lot to do right now. But I’d love to do that later…” would have sufficed. Why did he get so upset?
He’s upset because he wants to please you, and you’re persistence is only reminding him just how much he’s letting you down right now. But, instead of just saying that, he sends his guilt back outwards (because that’s easier) and makes you feel like the bad guy for even asking.
The comment: “I can’t deal with this right now”
You come home from a rough day and want to talk to your man about it. But the second you begin to vent he cuts you off and says, “Baby. I had a rough day myself. I really can’t deal with this right now.” And you’re thinking, “Well that is selfish!”
There really is no sentiment behind this one. Women are just better emotional multi-taskers! Men do not realize how many times we ourselves are stressed out, when our men come over and need someone to vent to, and need some tender, female nurturing, and we totally put our stresses aside for later and attend to our men. Men just have no idea. It’s in our nature to balance our own and other’s emotional needs at once. It’s not really in a man’s nature. He feels his head will explode when it’s filled with his own problems plus someone else’s. It’s just a way men are flawed and we have to accept it.
The comment: “Do I have to go?”
You ask your guy to attend your friend’s birthday party with you, or your company holiday party, and he says (like a whiney child), “Do I have to go?” And you’re thinking, “Well gee, thanks for not even feigning enthusiasm…”
Women and men think in two very different ways when it comes to accompanying one another to events. The woman thinks that it should make her man happy just knowing he’s making her happy by keeping her company. The man thinks, “Does she really want me there if I’m just going to clearly be bored and it’s something she could totally just attend on her own?” See, men aren’t as good at putting on a happy face when they’re not happy. You probably go to plenty of events with him that bore you to death, but you smile and pretend to enjoy yourself. Men don’t have that skill.