Is He Who He Says He Is? 6 Ways To Research Your Man
Today was “Girl’s Day” at work. As you already know, when a group of women get together, and there are no men around, the conversation is bound to turn toward shady dudes. Shady dudes we’ve known personally, shade dudes our friends have been involved with, all the shady dudes we’ve ever heard about. The conversation about these unscrupulous men was compounded by the fact that there was a 20 year old man on Maury lying to a woman, saying he was 27. That’s not so bad but the two had been dating for three years. So, needless to say when she first met him, he was 17 and she was probably, unknowingly breaking the law. This crazy story had a couple of my coworkers sharing even crazier stories about men who ended up being complete con artists. When you start dating, you never know who you’re dealing with initially. So, what precautions should you take to make sure you don’t end up bitter and bamboozled? We also discussed a couple of protective measures in the office. Some of them are a bit much for my taste but to each her own. Check out these techniques and let us know what’s acceptable, what you’ve done and what is taking it too far.
Google Him Baby
Once you learn his government name, why not slap that bad boy in a Google search and see what you come up with. Sure, he could be lying about his name; like the man on Maury was but if he’s not, Google might provide some much needed insight into his past and present. In an episode of TLC’s “Who Did I Marry?” this woman’s husband told her he was a doctor…a physician to be exact. A quick Google search of his name with the letters MD behind it would have put that lie to rest real quick.
Check His Paperwork
This is one I personally wouldn’t endorse but someone at my office said that she had no issue going through a man’s documents to find out if he really is who he says he is. Now, me personally I wouldn’t want anybody digging through my passport, driver’s license or anything else; so I know if homeboy caught me rifling through his paperwork, he would probably be done with me.
Meet The Parents
You know what they say, to understand something you have to understand its origins. So be sure to swing by his parents’ place to see what they’re talking about. Now, if his parents are a bit…eccentric that doesn’t mean he’s guaranteed to be the same way; but if anything ever comes up then you’ll know where it comes from.
See Him in Action
It might be hard to swing it; but if you really want to know what he does, ask him if you can bring him lunch one day or pick him up for an early date night. And since you’re there you might as well see his office, his cubicle or even the lab work he claims he’s doing. Had homegirl followed the so called “doctor” to work, or even called and asked for him, she would have learned that something was rotten in the cotton.
Run It By Your Friends
When you’re caught up, sprung with your nose wide open, you might not be able to see the realities of the situation. But your friends, your true girls, (you know the ones who aren’t jealous of your new relationship) will be sure to keep it real about the shady nature of your new boo. You might not want to hear it initially but if all your friends and family have a problem with dude, you might want to heed the warnings.
Use Your Intuition
That thing they call women’s intuition is not just some wives’ tale. It’s the real deal. Iyanla Vanzant even goes so far to say that our intuition is a gift. If you’re getting a funny feeling in the pit of your stomach that this dude might not be about the right, then go with that…or at least keep one eye on him.
Do you believe in doing research on a man? What type of tactics do you use?
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