You Don’t Have To Be Wonder Woman: The Importance of Vulnerability In Relationships

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“I like you, but the conversation from the other night sort of irked me. I’m looking for commitment and it seems like that’s the furthest thing from your mind. I was trying to get you to open up, but I don’t think you’re willing yet. For future reference, you can have a budding career and a family. It’s possible. Good luck, hope you find what you’re looking for.”

I didn’t agree with his entire text, but there was a truth to it that haunted me. Deep down I wanted a family; a huge house with a writing office where my husband and children could interrupt me often, a lover who I could trade bibliophilic notions with, and a stability that was unwavering.

The reason I couldn’t tell him that was because I didn’t want to give it all away. Too often I’d laid my truth unto someone who either couldn’t handle it or wanted nothing to do with it at all. Even though he’d opened up in that moment I was convinced that when I told my side, he’d run.

Or laugh.

Or hush.

Or say all the right things…

…and leave anyway.

I’m a feminist, a leader, and a potent writer; but I still hunger. I want to marry the man I’m with someday. I’d like to have little brown boys that resemble him and spark a fire in the other sex, as he did for me. I want to be able to lie in his arms without thinking about where we will be tomorrow or ten years from now. I just want to think about the present.

Right now.

I can now admit this. I’m still working on some of the aspects, but my journey to complete openness is an ongoing struggle. We’re all out to be superwoman–never shattered, never scorned. We want to be triumphant and glorious with the ability to say that we did it all alone.

Humanity beckons a partner.  We all deserve someone who will help us face our qualms and fears. Even the greatest reservation of all: vulnerability.

Fall.

“RivaFlowz” is a teacher and professional writer living in New York City. You can follow her on Twitter: @rivaflowz.

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