Some women spend their whole lives waiting for a man, any man to pop the question. Other women are smart enough to know that if the situation is not right, or if he’s not right, it’s best to decline. We talked to those women today on our Facebook and Twitter pages and got their stories. See what they had to say.
Christina: I was asked to be married by my Muslim friend from Egypt. I turned it down because he was asking everyone, just to stay in America:)
Karen: I used to be called the real runaway bride. Yes I did several times because I was simply afraid. I felt pressured to have a family and of course we broke up, hard feelings at first but it was best
Bek: Yes! This man was 30 years older and wanted me to take care of him in exchange for a Hummer, custom built house, other material objects.. He was a nice man, but I’m not for sale!
Darling: Yes I have. For the most part, the men were all for the marriage thing. I was ok with how things were (young , carefree, felt marriage would confine me). Marriage is a big deal to me. I dodged bullets though. Their credit is effed up and they’re trying to throw that ish on me wasn’t happening. Everybody got a gimmick these days.
Shontai: My kids father asked me to marry him when I pregnant with our 1st child. I said no because the timing was off and I didn’t (and still don’t) want to be a “wife” (because that seems to be a license for disrespect in today’s society). We’re still together but sometimes I do regret not just doing it. Right now there is a strain on us and I think that because I turned him down once, he may never ask again. But I’m okay with that.
Krista: I was asked by the same man 4 times, I said no because I don’t believe in marriage. I’ve been with the same man for 18yrs, we have 3 beautiful daughters & I wouldn’t change it for anything. To chose to be with someone is commitment & dedication. I don’t need to have a piece of paper to tell me where my heart should be =)
Savon: I turned him down because I did not love him as strongly as he loved me. We are best of friends yes he was hurt but I was trying to prepare him for the woman he married. The worst thing I could have done was marry him because I know I wouldve been taken care of. I loved him, but it wasn’t the same kind of LOVE. I believe he Respects me now & his wife is a gr8 Lady:)
MsParker: Yes, and he went bonkers when I did — threatened my life and everything. That just let me further know….
Lori: I have and I did it because I was not physically attracted to him. We were amazing as friends but no matter what I tried the SPARK just wasn’t there. We are still friends to this day although it took a year of him not speaking to me for me to break through his anger.
Courtney: Yes twice. 1st time I was in high school and my parents thought I was to young. 2nd time just wasn’t right & he stalked me, slashed my tires etc. 1st dude just exited out nicely.
Carolyn: 3 times, they weren’t the men I wanted to make a life with.
Ameta: 3 times. Twice from illegal aliens (including my daughter’s father). He opted to withhold that little jewel of info till she was born. One who wanted a visa to get to the US and the third was full blown married and was under the impression he needed a runner up not informing his wife who thought she had a fully invested husband…… I’m currently single I think it’s for the best!
Charlotte: Yes and I regretted it. He was a wonderful man but I was 18 and didnt want to be a military wife living overseas away from my family. Im married now (to a military man) and I have thought about him over the years.
Almond: I was engaged in 2005 at the age of 22 to a man 5 years older than me. Looking back, I was way too young to be married. I had landed a really good job, bought a brand new car and started traveling all over when I began dating my ex. He was a GREAT guy and I felt (and still feel) that he will be a great husband, father, provider but I was not ready. I started feeling smothered because I wanted to get out and explore the world- not be a wife and raise kids. I ended the engagement about a month after he proposed. I’ll never forget it. I told him, “you deserve to be with someone who loves and wants to be with you as much as you love and want to be with me… and that’s not me.” He was DEVASTATED. He cried and every time he saw me after that he would just look at me with the saddest look in his eyes- I saw him not too long ago… same look. He was married last year on the same day we were to be married in 2006. We speak whenever we see each other, at least 1-2 times a year at mutual friend’s events and everything is cool- we laugh and make small talk. But there is always the proverbial elephant in the room. That whole experience helped me SO much in later relationships. Sometimes people just are not ready. Timing can be everything.
Deidra: Yes. He broke up with me 2 years before, to get back with his ex girlfriend. We lost touch, he joined the army. Came back to town 2 years later after not having contacted me the entire time he was gone. We went to dinner where he presented me with some sort of Wal-Mart-esque cluster engagement ring. Whhhaaa??? That was an awkward ride home. Never spoke to him again – but I dd see him a couple years later at a hair salon sitting under a dryer to set his cornrows….LOLOLOL The Whackness!!
Marquis: YES my first proposal back in my early 20s and then again when I was bout 28 and we’re still together
Kiana: Yes, the only reason he wanted to marry me was to keep me from going to college.
Kimberly: Yes, I turned My daughter’s dad down because I knew he was not husband material. We were in our early 20’s, and he was nice looking at the time. And the ladies loved him. He had the nerve to ask me if he could take money from women, not 1 or 2, & take care of us, with their money. This wouldn’t make a good father figure for my child, nor did I want to be a part of his schemes. He married a girl about 5 years after that, & she called to see if I had something for his ‘ONLY’ child to wear. She paid for their wedding & everything the entire time they were together. Then he married another young lady. And since then he has married another woman. While picking up our grandson from my house, he has brought other women with him to my house. And got mad that I asked if one of them was his wife. Now, did you hear me ever say he got a divorce from anyone!!! GO FIGURE!!! 🙂
Diane: My second husband wanted to remarry me, I told him no way. He tried to kill me. Police killed him.
Have you ever had to decline a proposal? Why did you do it? Feel free to share your story in the comments section.
More on Madame Noire!
- Where Are They Now? 11 Of The Most Rachet, Lovable and Controversial Black Folks From “The Real World”
- Ask a Very Smart Brotha: He Got Someone Else Pregnant But Says He Wants to Be With Me
- So,You Acted a Fool, Now What? 6 Ways to Move Past Your Spazz Out
- I’m Your Woman, Not Your Nanny: The Difference Between Supporting and Enabling a Lazy Man
- Why I Prefer the Company of Men Over Women
- Don’t Mess With Her! 6 of Aretha Franklin’s Most Diva-ish Moments
- They Said What Now!? 7 Songs That Don’t Mean What You Think They Do…