We usually know when something is coming. Your intuition, usually kicks in to warn you about bad things. It doesn’t kick in to tell you you’re going to win the lottery, or meet the man of your dreams tonight, but yes, usually for the negatives. Because of that, we don’t want to listen to it. But in the end, it’s usually right. If you listen to it, you can avoid a lot of pain. Here are a few times when you probably should.
You’re not ecstatic about seeing him
Did you ever end up in a long-term relationship with someone who you were not looking forward to seeing? I mean really, deeply, butterflies-in-your-stomach excited to see him again? Probably not. You should be sure you want a second date, or a tenth date. As much as you try to talk yourself into liking someone because you don’t want to be alone, if you’re not giddy about the person, it’s because your intuition knows it’s not going anywhere.
You think he’s over it
You haven’t heard from him in a couple of weeks, maybe you felt something was off the last time you did see him. But, you don’t want to admit that he’s over it. So, you send that text, or make that drunk call, saying you’d like to see him again, only to have him finally let you know he’s not into you, or to have him not respond at all…You know that if a guy is into you, he doesn’t just “forget” to reach out for a couple of weeks. If you’d admit that to yourself, you’d avoid that embarrassing, rock-bottom moment when you force him to say, “Sorry, I just don’t like you that way…” Yes, men should be mature enough to properly end things. But often they’re not, so you have to be mature enough to let it go.
He’s trying to control you
He says you shouldn’t hang out with a certain friend any more, go to a certain bar anymore, or go on your friend’s bachelorette party weekend. He says it’s not good for you, for some reason or another. But, you get that feeling in your stomach, that something isn’t right—that he’s not really looking out for your wellbeing. But, you don’t want to be alone, so you agree. And you stop doing that one thing. And then you stop doing something else he doesn’t want you to do. And suddenly you’re in a controlling relationship. Look, your intuition knows when someone is looking out for you, or when they’re just looking out for their own jealous tendencies.
He’s pulling away
He’s going to guys nights more. After dates, he’s going home instead of sleeping over. He’s not talking to you as much. A lot of things are off, but no matter how much you ask, “Is everything okay?” he always has some answer, “I’m just tired” or “I have a lot on my mind from work.” You accept it, because you don’t want to pressure him. But, your intuition kicks in. It knows that, even if your guy is stressed, he should want to talk to you about it. Your intuition knows that as a couple, you can’t just pull the “I’m tired” card for weeks, or months on end. Emotional intimacy cannot be cultivated like that.
It’s not just this one time
So, you’re getting to know a guy, and he cancels a date. He forgets to call. He hasn’t planned a date in weeks. He has excuses. He was so busy. He’s had so much work to do. He wants another chance. But, your intuition knows this guy just doesn’t know how to/doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship yet and share his life with someone. 99% of the time, it doesn’t end up just being “this one time.” It’s a pattern. Your intuition can feel that.
Yes, it would make you a Itchbay
Cancelling on your girlfriends to be with your man instead, once again. Hooking up with a guy you know your friend is into, even though she hasn’t told you and he’s not into her anyways. Leaving your friend alone at a bar, with no means of getting home, so you can go home with some guy. Sure. You could justify all of these acts. But, your excuses only kick in to battle your intuition, which tells you, “This makes you a Itchbay!” You could justify it, but don’t.
Yes, it will be too much
You want to cook a guy a surprise, fancy dinner in his home. You want to buy him floor seats to a Lakers game. You want to invite him to meet your parents. All nice things but, if you find yourself worrying, “Is this too much? Will I be smothering him?” then…you probably are. If a man wants to really be embedded in your life, he lets you know it. He makes you feel it. And if he’s done that, you wouldn’t be asking yourself, “Is this too much?”