Wacky Web Behaviors:Strange Things You’ll Encounter In Online Dating
Online dating sites can be a great resource for women who are tired of guessing the motives of every man that approaches her in a bar, or who’d rather get the important info over in a few quick emails than in a few long dates that could result in realizing things are going nowhere. However, because of the nature of the Internet—it’s quick and anonymous—a lot of curious characters swarm to it. And you end up experiencing things like this:
An unanswerable question
It should be a pretty easy question to answer: “How long have you been single?” But, the online arena provides a perfect place for relationship hoppers—people who are terrified of being alone—to rush to and distract themselves by reading one profile after another, and sending one message after another, until they find someone else to cling onto so they never have to be alone. For that reason, you might realize when you ask that simple question, “How long have you been single?” you’ll either get a long rambling that doesn’t include a clear number, or they will answer every question in your email besides that one. The answer is probably some number that represents, “Way too short for me to have even possibly emotionally healed or reflected on things.”
And because of the aforementioned behavior, you’ll get a lot of needy types. If you somehow don’t see the signs ahead of time and end up dating this person, they will want to move at warp speed with you. They’ll text you all day long. They’ll start telling you they’ve never felt the way they feel about you before. Even if you don’t get into the face-to-face phase, if you just stop messaging someone, you may get a message at some point that asks something like, “Why did you stop talking to me? Did I do something wrong? If you tell me I promise I can make things better.” Needy types can’t handle rejection.
Read a few profiles, send a few messages, and you feel like you’ve put some time into your love life for the day. That’s what super busy people love about online dating, and why you may get into a great conversation with someone who suddenly drops off the face of the planet. You e-met them at a time when it was convenient for them to pursue love. But, they do not put in effort or put aside time for it if it causes any trouble. If someone disappears for weeks at a time and then randomly messages you, walk away—actually dating them would be the exact same way. They haven’t learned how to juggle a love life and life.
With some sites, online dating can be a lot like online shopping. You know that, just around every virtual page is a whole new match that could be more attractive, more successful and possibly more compatible with you. For this reason, you might end up on dates with some men who have a sense of entitlement. They act like they are waiting for you to prove yourself—your worth. They know that, if there is just one little thing they don’t like about you, they can just go home, go online and keep shopping.
“Hi, you’re hot”
Okay, you know you’ll get some of these—guys who just look at your photo and say, “Hi you’re hot, let’s chat” because, the Internet is also a place for a lot of horny people to find an instant hookup. What you might not realize is that, many women misinterpret it. Sometimes, a man spins that line with a little more class, using words like “Gorgeous” or “stunning”—words that for some reason make a woman feel like a man is looking into her soul. And so, they engage in the conversation. Warning: any guy who is actually looking for something serious, or something serious that isn’t a trophy wife, or who isn’t just sending two dozen “You take my breath away” messages out to see who responds, takes the time to read your profile and send you a comment referring to something specific to what you wrote.
You might find yourself asking, “When will you ask me out already?!?” Some guys will send you email upon email, filled with thoughtful responses and questions that make them seem deeply interested in you. But they never even hint at taking things offline and into real life. That is because the Internet is a great place for people who don’t know what they want—they think they like the idea of a relationship, but they are waiting and waiting and waiting for the day they suddenly wake up and feel ready to dip their toes in the water. The truth is, nothing is going to make them ready for that but some therapy or at the very least some self-reflection.
A message from far away
Ever get a message from a guy who lives a thousand miles away and wondered, “What was he thinking?” He was thinking a nice offer of a plane ticket and a condo would get you to uproot your life for him. Okay, maybe it’s not always that drastic but, there are a lot of men out there who are used to getting what they want at the drop of a…check. Particularly super successful men are so used to being able to access everything with money that, some can easily get in the mentality of seeing women online as things to be bought. Hey, they did put down their credit card info to get on that site—right? Some men are so out of touch with reality that, when they message you in California, from their house in Switzerland, they have no concept of the reality that you have a whole life set up for yourself. They just know they want you.