Everybody knows at least one in their life. I’m talking about the person who needs all eyes on them at all times. If you can’t think of that person, you may be that person. Though there are more positive ways to receive attention, these people aren’t patient enough to wait for you to take notice. It’s their world and the sooner you take notice the easier their behavior will be to swallow…or maybe not. It’s time to recognize the signs.
The madd flasher
We all like to dress in ways that compliment our physical attributes, but your pants are tight and your top is super v-neck and stretched to capacity. You know that you can barely breathe but you’re okay with that because “pride” and “joy” are out for killer season. Most of your wardrobe promotes your boobs or bottom in the worst way, muffin top included. What’s wrong with dressing for your size?
The master story teller
Whenever you tell a story, there are not pictures but you’re clearly illustrating. When someone asks how your weekend was, you say “girl…”, then close your eyes, bite your lower lip, and commence in-air pelvic hip thrusts. We’re now aware that you thoroughly enjoyed your weekend and you only said one word. When you are vocal, we enter the world of over sharing. Whether it’s in person, on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve probably said too much. Your “friends” and “followers” know every aspect of what your about to do and what you already did. Why are you on social media if you can’t keep it real, right?
The trouble maker
If an argument ensues with another, you go off the deep end, especially in public. What do you look like walking away from somebody who obviously needs a piece of your mind? You begin talking about people’s mother, using words so vulgar, men in a bar fight would cringe. The words that come out of your mouth are just insane and you love the shock value of it all. Your friends aren’t off the hook either. The last thing they want to do is cross you, because you have a master arsenal of secrets, that you’re willing to submit as a Facebook status. Of course you won’t include their name in the status, but they have to know who’s boss. Isn’t that the forum to vent on anyway?
Fried, dyed, and blow dried
As women, we’re ever changing. So there’s no harm in creatively expressing on the outside, what we’re feeling on the inside. Perhaps something was lost in translation, when you spiked your hair up, dyed it purple, and then frosted the tips. Yes, you have the right to express yourself, but understand that stare. What kind of response did you think you were going to get with that hairdo?
The Material Girl
You found a fair amount of success in what you do professionally, or so you say. According to you, there’s nothing you don’t have. You send out tweets asking if you should get the new Ipad or a full breed shitzu. There’s never anything dull going on in your life. Everything sounds extravagant. When someone asks what you’re doing, you say “I’m in my Benz on my way to meet a very important client at Neiman Marcus.” The simpler answer would’ve been that you were working, but simple is lame, and you’re a mover and shaker. Heck, even celebrities know your name. Friends should be lucky enough that you’re still down to earth enough to chill with them. Feeling yourself, much?
Pictures are worth a thousand words, but you’re pictures scream, “notice me”. From the seductive glares, down to the over-the-shoulder booty pose, you ensure that everyone is aware that you’re hot and you know it. The constant picture updates are great but now you’re so addicted to posing that you’re taking pictures even while you’re in the restroom. No, you’re not using the mirror to take a self portrait. You’re bending over the sink and posing on toilet seats. Is that what you call creativity?
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